


Unfortunate

by StarvingLunatic



Category: Mai-HiME, Mai-Otome
Genre: Alternate Universe, Bonding, Child Neglect, Childhood Trauma, Domestic Fluff, Drama, Dysfunctional Family, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Family Drama, Nightmares, Novel, Suicidal Thoughts, Wordcount: 50.000-100.000, Wordcount: Over 50.000
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-10-02
Updated: 2011-12-13
Packaged: 2018-03-01 06:01:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 56,089
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2762333
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarvingLunatic/pseuds/StarvingLunatic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU. Natsuki is on her own and plagued by nightmares and Shizuru seems to be the cure for all that ails her, which works out for Shizuru since Natsuki can read her like a book and help her in ways she didn't even know she needed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Terror

**Author's Note:**

> I don’t own these characters.
> 
> A/N: this is an AU ShizNat story based on a manga called [Pieta](http://dynasty-scans.com/series/pieta). I recommend it to anyone who likes manga.
> 
>  

1: Terror

_It was dark and cold, like a freezer with the door shut. It felt like a thousand tiny needles were piercing her body, shredding her from the inside out. It was choking her. The blackness all around her and the frost were strangling her. Twisting and turning, she tried to escape her unknown killer to no avail._

It’s the water. I’m in the water!

_She was going to drown! She would drown … The water would take her, consume her, and erase her from existence. Her heart clenched, like it was being crushed by glacial fist. The darkness swarmed like bees and the frozen water stung her body as she tried to scream, only to have her voice silenced and traitorous waters choked her._

_Pivoting and wiggling more so than before, she tried to evade the dark, escape the water. Instead, it smothered her, devoured her. Eyes frantically searched for some escape and only came upon the morose truth. Pale, creamy skin matted with thick crimson that disgruntled seas could not wash away. She could not turn away from the sight._

She’s gonna die! Help! HELP! Somebody help me, help Mom! Save Mom!

 _Trying to swim was worthless as the water churned and moved her back while attempting to yank her under, swallow her. She was surrounded. Darkness, it was all around her, inside of her, flooding her. The water wrapped around her, pulled her down to Hell like clutching, clawing demons. Dark and cold demonic fingers tore at her freezing flesh to drag her to her tomb_.

It’s always dark and cold … Dark and cold in my grave.

 _And it was a tomb, an airtight vault, a haunting crypt. Solid, four hard walls, and no way out. There was a window just out of reach, but most of the time it was blocked by something. Again, she was in the dark and it was cold. Shadows coiled around her now, strangling her, slaughtering her. Again, surrounded on all sides by frozen darkness_.

No! No … not again! NO!

There has to be a way out! There has to be!

 _Rushing the wall, she pounded and scratched at the stone. It felt like her ribs were squeezing her chest in as her fingers were bathed in a warm liquid. It was so quiet that she could hear the droplets hit the frozen floor; it sounds like thunder. It was better than quiet, so she clawed more until she was sure that she didn’t have fingernails anymore. There was no exit, so the dripping sound of her own blood was excellent company … it was warm and a color in all of the darkness. And then there was nothing. Just the darkness and cold burying her_.

I wanna go home! I wanna go home! I wanna go home! Help me, Mom! Help me! MOM!

-8-8-8-8-

“MOM!” Natsuki shot up from bed, looking around frantically. Sweat flew from her forehead into the pitch-black room. It was dark, so dark. “Help!” she panted. Emerald eyes were wild and pale hands clawed at the bed. She shook as she realized she was not in either of her tombs, but in her bed. Still, it was dark and cold. “Blankets … I need blankets …” she muttered in a panic, stumbling out of the bed.

She nearly fell; her knees were so weak and her legs were like jello. She braced herself against the wall and ran her hand through her hair. It was then she noted that she was sweating bullets. The perspiration dripped down her ebony bangs, off her nose, and drenching her clothing. She found herself panting again.

“Calm down. You’re awake now. You’re awake and you’re fine. You’re not in the cell, not in the darkness. You’re not being burying. This is not a grave,” Natsuki promised herself.

Pushing off the wall, she took a deep breath and moved through her small apartment. Turning on all the lights, she ended up in the kitchen. She went to have a midnight snack, fetched a couple of blankets, and then flopped down on the couch. She wrapped herself in those covers, ate her food, and distracted herself by sitting front of the television for the whole night.

As night turned to day and the rising sun drove off the darkness, Natsuki rose from the sofa and showered. She then collected her uniform for school, but packed it away in a plastic carry bag, which would be placed in the satchel of her motorcycle. She dressed in her biker leathers and was off to school, taking the scenic route.

Riding her bike brought a smile to her face and brightened her emerald eyes. Her guts finally loosened themselves up as the wind whipped by her. The fresh air set her lungs at ease and she sighed, relief surging through her. She felt free, warm, and in the light. She pulled the front of the bike up, popping a wheelie as she went along.

She pulled up to the school and parked. She then went into the gym and changed into her uniform in the locker room. After that, she was off to class … late as usual. Of course, no one could tell that when she walked into class. Even the teacher did not bother reprimanding her. It did earn her a sigh and a head shake from a schoolmate, though.

 

-8-8-8-8-

Shizuru Fujino watched Natsuki flop in front of her desk. Shizuru herself was standing in the hallway, running an errand for a teacher. Of course, she often ran errands for teachers. They all trusted her and she supposed that she should feel flattered. She would not go so far as to say that she flattered, but she was close to it.

She did not linger in the hallway, making sure to do as she was requested. She knew that she would see Natsuki later. Haruka Suzushiro would make sure of that. After all, no rule remained unbroken around Haruka for long since she took her job as an executive on the student council so seriously.

With the errand done, Shizuru returned to class. She paid attention to her lessons and learned them well; she was the top in her class, after all. But, like all high school kids, she was glad when it was lunchtime. She took her meal in the grassy quad of Fuuka Academy, the private school that she attended. Students swarmed her as soon as she sat down.

She smiled and chatted pleasantly with those around her. Out of the corner of her eye, she spied Natsuki n the distance, leaning on a tree and brooding. The ebony-haired girl intrigued Shizuru. Those emerald eyes seemed so haunted, but cold and fought to keep people at bay, keep them from inquiring. Shizuru did not question it; it was not her place to do so. No, it was her place to scold Natsuki for her tardiness and she needed to get to it before Haruka pestered her about. _Sometimes, being student council president is quite troublesome_ , she thought as she climbed to her feet. _But, it does give me an excuse to speak with Natsuki and gives me another opportunity to understand her_.

Apparently, Shizuru did not act fast enough because as soon as she was standing Haruka was on her. The blond looked outraged as always; Shizuru sometimes wondered if Haruka ever relaxed. Glancing at the blond, Shizuru decided that Haruka probably did not even know the word “relax,” which was interesting in and of itself because of Haruka’s peculiar, yet endearing, way with words.

“I hope you’re about to go tell that delinquent off! She was late for school again and arrived out of uniform!” Haruka barked, pointing to Natsuki.

“I was on my way at this very moment, Haruka-san,” Shizuru replied with a polite smile.

“I should just mark her off for year-long deflection,” Haruka declared and she put her hands on her hip.

Shizuru gave Haruka a curious head tilt. “I believe you mean detention.” Generally, she would not have corrected her fellow council member, but Haruka’s best friend, Yukino, was not around to correct the high-strung blond. “Isn’t it too early in the school year to decide such a thing?”

“Then go talk to her and make sure it never happens again,” Haruka huffed.

Shizuru sighed, but decided to take her leave since the blond had given the chance. She strolled off, fans following her. The small crowd stopped a few feet behind her when they realized whom she was heading toward. Everyone always kept a wide berth when it came to Natsuki. Shizuru had yet to decide if that was by design or accident.

“Good afternoon, Kuga-san,” Shizuru greeted the pale girl with a bright smile.

Natsuki snorted and turned her head. “I know I was late. I don’t care.”

Shizuru was used to the attitude since she had to speak with Natsuki each time she was late, which was often. Of course, it was not often enough to hurt her grades, but it was often enough that Haruka felt like pressuring Shizuru into doing something to it. So, Shizuru acted like Natsuki was not supremely annoyed with her, even though the feeling was somewhat mutual. Shizuru was tired of having to reprimand Natsuki for something downright silly.

“Kuga-san, do you suppose it would be too much to ask for you to meet with me after school?” Shizuru inquired with a pleasant smile.

Natsuki regarded her with a curl on her lip. “If it gets you to stop looking at me like that, then yeah,” she replied.

Shizuru almost faltered from such a curt response. Natsuki was typically withdrawn and somewhat rude to her, but nothing like now. Shizuru knew it was such antisocial snapping that kept people from talking to Natsuki for prolonged periods of time. she refused to let it faze her.

“Then I will see you at the front entrance after school. You may have to wait. I believe I have a council meeting that requires my attendance,” Shizuru explained.

Natsuki waved her off and Shizuru took her leave. She was unable to help wondering what was wrong with Natsuki. She seemed crabbier than usual and there were dark rings under her eyes. Her emerald eyes were beyond haunted now; it was like they looked beyond the world into the land of the dead. Perhaps she would get some kind of answers when they met up after school. She also hoped for an explanation on Natsuki’s tardiness, which she did not want to become habitual and she planned to explain that to the so-called delinquent.

-8-8-8-8-

Natsuki rubbed her eyes for what had to be the hundredth time; she was pretty sure of that. She was in math class, which was usually enough to hold her interest, but today was not math’s day. It actually had not been a good learning day for Natsuki. Her brain was foggy because of a heavy pounding against her skull. Her headache was massive and her eyes kept trying to close, but she refused to allow it.

Shaking her head, she attempted to focus, concentrate on one of her favorite subjects. With her luck, there would be quiz on the material. Of course, it did not matter. Soon, there would be a test and she had been fuzzy all week. Eventually, she was going to fail unless she got her act together.

“Can’t fail … need scholarship …” she muttered, rubbing her eyes again. Her math teacher finally came back into focus and math made sense again.

The thought of her scholarship had been the only thing keeping her head from meeting the desk for the whole week. It had been much easier last week. She had been hyper aware and focused, which may or may not have had something do with piles of sugar-loaded junk food. She definitely had not been late, which she could not say for any day this week. She should have known that Shizuru, Miss-Perfect-Student-Council-President-and-Rock-Star, would be all over her ass for being late everyday of the week. Hell, she was ready to ride her own ass for such carelessness. After all, lateness could hurt her grades, which meant that she would lose her scholarship and she would be kicked out of school.

“I need to focus. I need school,” she reminded herself. The thought gave her some resolve to fight against the weariness and the headache threatening to overcome her.

For the rest of the day, she was able to at least make it through school. She was ready to get on her bike and just ride for the rest of the day, but she remembered that she had to wait and be chewed out by Shizuru.

“Well, I guess I can start my homework or something,” Natsuki muttered. She opened her book bag and began rooting around for something to occupy her time.

Natsuki buried her nose in a book and failed to notice a pair of wine-colored eyes watching her. Eventually, the eyes turned away, but they were not gone for long. Shizuru exited the school and quietly watched Natsuki briefly.

The girl that Haruka swore was a miscreant seemed like a bookworm. Natsuki was strange, a puzzle, and Shizuru loathed to admit that she was curious. Not by much, but she wondered why Natsuki was such a contradiction. _Why is this antisocial biker also one of the smartest people in the school?_

“Kuga-san, I am surprised to see that you actually waited,” Shizuru commented with a polite smile.

Natsuki did not bother to look up from her book. “I did say that I’d show up if you stop looking at me like you are now. You had upheld your end of the bargain up until this moment,” she remarked.

Shizuru’s smile vanished and her brow furrowed. “This is the second time you’ve commented on my face, Kuga-san. You seem to be paying an abundance of attention to my face,” she countered. “What about my face offends you so?”

Natsuki was set to give a snappy response, but a pounding at the front of her skull halted all charged words. Hissing, she pinched in between her eyes. After a few seconds, the pain went away and she forgot her witty retort.

“Nothing about your face offends me. I just hate it when you give me that damn fake smile of yours,” Natsuki answered honestly.

“Fake smile? What do you mean?” Shizuru asked, sounding quite bemused and almost looking the part.

A snort escaped the biker. “Oh, come off of it! You know that smile you give just about everyone that you don’t want to talk to, which is almost everyone that you talk to. I can almost see in your eyes you’re going, ‘will this vapid idiot shut the hell up’ almost whenever one of your fans is talking to you. It’s a look that just shows you don’t want to bother with something, but you’re pushing through it.”

Shizuru was set to deny the charges, but thought that Natsuki might see through that as she had seen through her smile. She was surprised that Natsuki had read her so well. No one else noticed.

“All right, I’ll concede to you that the smile might not be genuine, but I would never think that someone needs to shut up,” Shizuru replied calmly.

Natsuki chuckled a bit. “Not even Haruka?” she asked. Her emerald eyes glanced up to gauge Shizuru’s reaction.

The tawny-haired teen giggled. “No, not even Haruka, but she does come close.”

“I don’t understand why you hold conversations with people that you clearly don’t want to talk to,” Natsuki commented. She was not surprised by her candor. She had lost her mental filter over the weekend. Thankfully, she did not talk to many people to have to worry about the filter.

Shizuru shook her head. “I enjoy speaking to people,” she said and then Natsuki gave her a “really?” look, so she decided to clarify her statement. “I enjoy speaking to people initially and about certain topics, but after prolonged exposure, I find that most people are tedious.”

Natsuki smirked. “I thought as much.”

“Now, perhaps Kuga-san will tell me about herself. Like why she is often late,” Shizuru requested.

Natsuki regarded Shizuru, staring her up and down. She wondered why Shizuru cared about why she was late. Shizuru should just scold her and/or punish her, so she could get on with her life.

“Why do you care?” the ebony-haired girl inquired.

“Just as you were curious about me, I am curious about you. I’ve often wondered what makes you tick. Why are you, well, you?” Shizuru retorted.

Natsuki laughed and closed her book. She put her book away and started toward her bike. When she mounted it, she saw that Shizuru was still standing by the school entrance. Shizuru was clearly tense; well, clearly to Natsuki anyway. Shizuru thought that Natsuki was ignoring her.

“You want to know about me, right?” Natsuki asked.

“I believe I just said that,” Shizuru replied in what was the closet that she had ever come to snapping on someone.

“Then come on,” Natsuki urged her, waving the older teen over to the motorcycle.

Shizuru barely had to think about it before following Natsuki. She could not help herself; she was quite fascinated. She wanted to know about Natsuki and she also wanted to know how Natsuki was about to read her so easily. No one outside of her family had ever been able to do that before.

After handing over her helmet to her passenger, Natsuki secured their bags away and started the motorcycle. The pair sped off on Natsuki’s bike. Natsuki traced the route that she took to school on many days. Shizuru held on for dear life, clinging to Natsuki’s back. The pale teen glanced back, checking on her passenger. She was tempted to do some tricks and give Shizuru a real reason to hold on, but decided against it. While a pest, Shizuru was not so bad.

Shizuru was so concerned about staying on the motorcycle that she did not realize when the machine came to a halt. She looked up when she felt Natsuki moving to dismount. Glancing around, the tawny-haired teen saw that they were at a small apartment complex.

“Where are we?” Shizuru asked.

“This is where I live. You asked why I was always late. Well, when I need to clear my head, I take the way we just came to school,” Natsuki explained.

Shizuru checked her watch to see the significance of it since she missed everything else along the way. “Well, I don’t see why Kuga-san would not be able to make it to school if she left her house an hour before school starts,” she commented.

“Yeah, except I don’t and probably won’t. The earlier I leave, the more I’ll ride around,” Natsuki informed her.

“So, there’s nothing to be done with the tardiness?” Shizuru guessed.

“Nothing at all. Now, do you want me to ride you home or do you want to come in and call a cab?” Natsuki inquired, motioning to the stairs on the outside of the complex. Shizuru guessed that meant that Natsuki’s home was on the second floor.

“A cab would be best,” the older teen decided. She was not quite ready for another fast ride on the motorcycle.

Natsuki shrugged and led Shizuru to the second story landing of the apartment complex. Shizuru looked around as she followed; the complex looked like a nice place to live. There were well cared for potted plants outside of several doors on the wide walkways. The building itself was a nice mix of white and brown, which imitated wood paneling, and the bay windows for each unit stood out. Natsuki went to the last door and opened it.

“Welcome to my humble abode,” Natsuki grumbled, tossing her book bag in a corner of the living room. She slipped her shoes off and marched right into her kitchen. “Want something to drink?”

Shizuru was silent for a moment as she slipped off her shoes. “Water if you have it.”

“It’s about the only thing I have,” Natsuki remarked.

Shizuru did not respond and looked around the apartment. It was a very pleasant, comfortable looking place. She had a small tan sofa on the back wall of the living room with a tiny black coffee table. A bunch of magazines were piled on the table and spilled over onto the floor. A lone game controller and the television remote were also on the floor. The television was a few feet away with a game console next to it; both sat on a flimsy stand.

“Did you call for the cab?” Natsuki asked as she came up behind Shizuru with a glass of water.

“Oh, no. I’ll do that now,” Shizuru said and she went through her bag for her cell phone.

“You can sit down and wait for them to come.” The biker motioned to the couch.

Shizuru nodded again and eased down onto the couch. Natsuki flopped down onto the sofa and sipped from a bottle of coffee. Shizuru glanced at the caffeinated drink and then noted the dark circles under Natsuki’s eyes. She was going to comment on them, but the cab company picked up and she ordered her ride home.

They sat quietly for a few minutes with only the sound of their breathing filling the air. Shizuru was set to go, but then she noted that Natsuki had fallen asleep. Well, that explained the bags under her eyes. Shizuru got up and looked around for the linen closet. It was situated at the front of the hallway, which was the same somewhat drab color as the living room; it was a cool gray. She grabbed a thin blanket and draped it over Natsuki.

With Natsuki properly covered, Shizuru sat down again and waited for her taxi. She moved to get her water again and the couch dipped under her shifting weight. As she leaned back, Natsuki eased over and fell into Shizuru’s lap. Shizuru let out a very little surprised yelp as Natsuki’s head settled on her legs. Shizuru was about to move the pale girl, but Natsuki made a pleased purr and sighed as if she was having the most wonderful sleep ever.

A horn honking got Shizuru’s attention, letting her know the taxi was waiting outside. She moved to rise and Natsuki let out a whine. Shizuru was going to let it go, but then Natsuki put her arm around the older woman.

“Stay,” Natsuki whimpered in her sleep. Shizuru was surprised that she would honor that entreat.

-8-8-8-8-

Next time: see what happens when Natsuki wakes up to find Shizuru still there.


	2. Peaceful

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t own these characters. I also don’t own the Science Channel or the show “How It’s Made.”
> 
> A/N: this is an AU ShizNat story based on a manga called [Pieta](http://dynasty-scans.com/series/pieta). I recommend it to anyone who likes manga.

2: Peaceful

Natsuki woke up, feeling mellow. It was like everything inside of her was warm and melted. She had never felt like that before. It was … glorious. And then she realized that someone was petting her hair, which felt extremely enjoyable, but she did not openly admit that, even to herself. The petting led her to realize that she was reclining on something that was not quite a pillow; it was also quite comfortable. Opening her eyes and turning over, she saw that she was lying in Shizuru’s lap.

“Ah! Sorry!” Natsuki yelped as she sat up immediately, knocking her blanket off of her. Her heartbeat was heavy and her mind reeled as she tried to figure out why it was so wonderful to be touched by Shizuru and to lay against her.

The student council president smiled softly. “It’s fine.”

Natsuki looked around, wanting to make sure that she was still in her apartment. “What are you still doing here?” she asked curiously, failing to suppress a yawn. She then rubbed her eyes with the heel of her hand.

“You asked me to stay.”

Natsuki blinked and regarded at her guest like a maniac. “I asked you to stay?”

“Yes, you did,” Shizuru confirmed in a polite, almost demure manner.

The biker took a deep breath and rubbed her face. Shizuru expected to be berated for her actions as soon as Natsuki was done getting herself together. After all, Natsuki was a very private person and Shizuru was basically in her sanctuary now. She was surprised by Natsuki’s response, though.

“Thank you,” the pale girl muttered. There was even some gratitude in her voice.

“You’re welcome,” Shizuru answered instantly. Her eyes shined a bit as she smiled again. They were silent for a while before she decided to say something else. “It looks like you had a good sleep and I think you needed it.”

“I did need it. I haven’t … I haven’t been sleeping well …” Natsuki admitted in a low voice. Emerald eyes looked downward to hide the shame that she felt in not being able to sleep.

Shizuru nodded. “I thought as much. You were drinking coffee earlier and your eyes have dark rings under them.”

“Yeah …” She scratched the top of her head in somewhat sheepish manner. While she had had a lot of things happen to her in life, she was sure she should feel her most embarrassed right now, but she was not completely embarrassed for some reason. She thought it might have something to do with the fact that she finally got some rest.

“I hope that you get more sleep soon and do not destroy your health. Well, I suppose I should be getting home now. It’s very late,” Shizuru said and she began to rise from the couch.

The ebony-haired teenager felt a bolt go through her and her eyes widened. If Shizuru left, she would be alone again. She would be stuck with the ghosts and the nightmares. She would not be able to sleep again! _I’ll go crazy and they’ll take me away again!_

“Wait!” Natsuki said, reaching out and grabbing Shizuru’s hand.

Shizuru turned and stared down into begging emerald eyes. “Yes?”

“Stay,” Natsuki implored in a small, childish voice.

Shizuru wondered who this person was, holding onto her hand like a desperate, frightened toddler.  Natsuki was supposed to be the feared and dreaded Ice Princess that everyone in Fuuka Academy avoided. She was antisocial and isolated. She walked around like she was the most independent and powerful person on Earth. That person was gone right now and Shizuru wanted to know why.

“I can stay. I just need to call home,” the tawny-haired female replied in a soft tone, as if she did not want to scare her host any further. Crimson eyes regarded Natsuki with a sort of gentleness that on anyone else probably would have pissed the biker off, but coming from Shizuru, the woman that she knew was a world-class actress, it was not so terrible. The emotion was real, genuine, and it set Natsuki’s whole world at ease. 

Natsuki pulled back and nodded. Shizuru stepped off into the hall while Natsuki sat back on the couch and fiddled with her thumbs. She could not believe that she had asked Shizuru to stay, but it was nice to get some sleep without any nightmares. She obviously needed it, especially when she saw what time it was. She had been asleep for six hours.

“When the hell have I ever slept six hours?” Natsuki asked the air, rubbing her face with both hands. She was pretty sure that she had never in her life slept six hours in one week, so the fact that she did it in one night was amazing. It was a miracle.

Before she could contemplate things even more, she noticed the blanket on the floor. She picked it up and smiled a bit. She supposed Shizuru was not as bad as she thought considering the fact that Shizuru had not only covered her, allowed her to sleep on her, but she also stayed when asked. Shizuru was a good person … a good person with a fake smile. _Maybe there’s some substance behind that smile if that look in her eyes meant anything_.

“All right, I am clear to stay here,” Shizuru announced as she stepped back into the living room.

“For the night?” Natsuki asked, unable to hide the hope in her voice and eyes.

“That’s what I assumed you meant before,” Shizuru answered as she sat back down on the couch in an almost regal manner.

Natsuki smiled. “That’s great. Um … you want to order some dinner?”

“That would be acceptable. I haven’t eaten since we were at school.”

“How about pizza?” Natsuki suggested.

Shizuru shrugged. “If that’s what you want.”

“Hey, you’ve been accommodating to me whole day, so let me do something for you. What kind of food do you want? It doesn’t matter how expensive. It’s all on me,” Natsuki declared, quite enthusiastically. There was bright look in her emerald eyes that had never been there before as far as Shizuru knew.

The older teen smiled and immediately Natsuki frowned. Shizuru realized what she was doing as soon as the expression appeared on Natsuki’s face. She covered her mouth up with her hand.

“Sorry. It’s a bit of a reflex when I don’t know exactly how to respond,” Shizuru explained her faux smile.

“You can relax, Shizuru. I don’t want you to have to be … well, fake, here,” Natsuki stated with a slight wince.

Shizuru bristled. “I wouldn’t say I’m fake.”

“That sounded bad, didn’t it? I don’t mean … I just mean you can be yourself. Sorry, I’m bad with words. Not used to talking to people much. Um … look, I’ll just go out and get something to eat. Tell me what you want, please,” Natsuki requested.

Shizuru laughed somewhat because of Natsuki’s awkward sincerity. They settled on what they were going to eat and Natsuki ducked out to go pick the food up. Shizuru busied herself with looking around.

Entering the kitchen, she could see that Natsuki typically ate takeout. Pizza seemed to be the dish of choice if all of the boxes stacked by the garbage meant anything. There were also a lot of containers. She was tempted to look into the refrigerator as she suspected it was full of water and bottled coffee drinks, but she resisted the urge.

Instead, she returned the living room and looked around again, now at the walls. The gray walls were bare, not even a calendar up. No posters, no pictures, nothing. She was not sure what to make of everything, except that it appeared Natsuki lived alone. There was no evidence that there were parents or siblings, but then again, there was little evidence that Natsuki lived there beyond her magazines and gaming console.

“Okay, so I’ve got grub, so we can eat now,” Natsuki announced as she entered the apartment.

“That was fast,” Shizuru noted from her space on the couch.

“Yeah, everything’s right down the street. It’s one of the best things about this place,” Natsuki explained, flopping down next Shizuru. She put the plastic bag up on the coffee table and pulled out the container.

“No table, I see,” Shizuru commented, eyes drifting around the apartment. There was no table and no chairs either. She assumed that Natsuki did not often, if at all, have company over. It fit the ebony-haired girl’s anti-social persona for the most part, but it seemed like no one ever visited, which made her wonder about Natsuki’s family.

“I usually just eat right here. It’s a good view of the TV and everything. Something you want to watch?” Natsuki asked, handing Shizuru her box. She then reached for the remote.

“What do you usually watch?”

“Car shows and bike shows. Stuff like that. I doubt you wanna see that. Oh, I’m a fan of the Science Channel, too. They have a cool show that shows you how they make stuff. Funny enough, it’s called ‘How It’s Made.’ It’s really cool,” Natsuki said. She wondered if she sounded as nervous as she felt, but it might explain why she repeated herself about the show.

“That sounds fine.”

And, so, they sat on the couch, eating fast food and watching “How It’s Made” and “How Do They Do It?” When they were done, Natsuki made sure to throw everything away. She then gave Shizuru some clothing to sleep in and then volunteered to launder Shizuru’s clothing while she showered. Shizuru did not object.

“So, where would Kuga-san like me to sleep?” Shizuru inquired once everything was done. She was wearing a t-shirt provided by Natsuki, which had a caption on the back that read “if you can read this, the bitch fell off.” Shizuru did not question the shirt or the torn up shorts that Natsuki had given her.

“Well, first, I think you should call me Natsuki since you’ve spent the last eight hours with me,” Natsuki pointed out.

The crimson-eyed teen smiled and laughed. “I understand, Natsuki. Now, where would Natsuki like me to sleep?”

“You can take my bed,” Natsuki waved off and then pointed to the end of the hall.

“And where will you sleep?”

“I shouldn’t need to sleep. I got enough on the couch,” the pale teen said, pointing her thumb at the sofa.

The student council president sighed and put her hands on her hips. “Natsuki, you required that sleep and I suspect that you require much more. I will not take your bed when I know you need the sleep.”

“No, no, no. I’m good,” Natsuki insisted, shaking her head.

“I do not think so, Natsuki. I would like to assume that we are now friends, so Natsuki tell me why it is you don’t seem to get enough sleep?” Shizuru inquired.

The biker opened her mouth, as if she was going to speak, but instead took a deep breath. She licked her lips and studied the floor like it would help her pass a test. When she looked back up boundless red eyes stared at her with more depth than she thought possible. It was like those wine-colored orbs sucked her in, cuddled her, and cajoled her into baring her own soul.

“I … I have nightmares,” Natsuki admitted in a low tone. She half-expected to be mocked for confessing to something that seemed so mundane to most other people. Of course, they did not see what she saw when they closed their eyes. They did not feel what she felt when there was nothing but darkness around her.

“And they keep you up?” Shizuru asked. Her voice did not hold any judgment, only the gentleness that her eyes had possessed. The question itself seemed to tenderly caress her hostess.

The pale woman rubbed her forehead. “They … they … haunt me …” she whispered.

“Oh, Natsuki,” Shizuru gasped. “You didn’t seem to have any nightmares on the couch.”

“Yeah, that’s never happened before.”

“Maybe you’ll be fine tonight since you didn’t have any earlier.”

Natsuki nodded to that logic. “You make a point. Still, you take the bed and I’ll take the couch. Okay?”

Shizuru nodded and it was settled for the moment. Shizuru went into the bedroom and found a full-sized bed that did not look slept in for quite a while. It was made neatly with midnight blue covers and matching pillows. On top of the pillows was a small, tattered plush toy of dachshund sat as if watching guard over the room. Shizuru smiled to herself as she settled into the soft bed and drifted off into a surprisingly peaceful sleep.

At two in the morning, things changed. The ear-splitting and spirit-breaking sound of Natsuki screaming as if the world was coming to an end tore her guest from her slumber. Shizuru shot up from the bed, which was quite comfortable, and she rushed out into the living room. Natsuki was sitting up, wild-eyed, and covered in sweat.

“Mom! Mom!” Natsuki shouted, her head whipping around as if trying to find her mother.

Shizuru hurried over to the biker and embraced her. Natsuki fought briefly, struggling to get away, but Shizuru just held her tighter. Suddenly, the terrified calmed down and clung to Shizuru.

“Don’t leave me, don’t leave me, don’t leave me,” the younger woman whispered in desperation. Tears suddenly poured down her face as she held onto her guest for dear life.

“Shh. I’m not going anywhere,” Shizuru promised, petting Natsuki’s hair and hoping to calm her down.

The ebony-haired girl settled eventually and her eyes closed. She had fallen asleep. Shizuru considered leaving, but was afraid that Natsuki would have more nightmares. So, instead, she eased herself down on the couch and got comfortable. She grabbed Natsuki’s blanket from the floor and covered them both. She fell asleep after making sure that she and Natsuki were secure on the couch.

-8-8-8-8-

Natsuki woke up and again felt the unfamiliar warmth and delight, which let her know she was resting on Shizuru without even opening her eyes. She could already feel that whatever she was on was not the couch. Her head was probably on Shizuru’s chest because she could hear a calming heart beat and feel the serene rise and fall from Shizuru breathing. Slight pressure on her head made her believe Shizuru had her fingers in Natsuki’s hair. _Is this what peace feels like?_

Tilting her head slightly and opening her eyes, Natsuki looked at what time it was. Again, she was left pleasantly surprised to find that she slept through the night. Shizuru kept her nightmares at bay.

“Feels good,” Natsuki muttered. Getting sleep felt wonderful and she felt more alert than she had … ever! Unfortunately, she could not dwell on that. “Gotta get up for school,” she remembered.

Green eyes scanned the couch to determine the best course of action in getting up without waking Shizuru. Natsuki quickly assessed that it was probably not going to be possible for her to get up without waking her companion. She was lying on top of the tawny-haired teen and Shizuru had her arms wrapped around Natsuki. She also had one leg hooked around Natsuki’s leg. Natsuki decided to assume that was to make sure neither of them fell off of the couch.

“Hey, Shizuru,” Natsuki said in a voice that was louder than a whisper, but still pretty low, almost as if she was not really trying to wake Shizuru. Shizuru made a small noise, but did not stir. “Hey, Shizuru,” Natsuki repeated, moving a little that time to shake Shizuru as much as she could.

“Hmm?” Shizuru moaned lightly and then her eyes fluttered open. Lifting her head a little, she scanned the area to get her bearings together. For a moment, she was perplexed on where she was and then she noticed the body lying on her. “Good morning, Natsuki,” she greeted her hostess with a small, pleasant smile.

“Good morning to you too. Um …” Natsuki glanced away. “We have to get ready for school.”

Shizuru looked over at the time on the cable box. “So we do,” she agreed.

The pair eased themselves off of the couch and then prepared for school as if it was the most normal thing in the world. They did not mention sharing the couch or Natsuki’s nightmares or Shizuru’s decision to hold Natsuki that night. They merely dressed and left for school. They picked up breakfast on the way and parted ways as soon as they got to school, merely offering each other a “goodbye.”

It was like some strange dreaming, having spent the day together. Shizuru was almost willing to consider it did not happen. After all, when she thought about it, the whole thing seemed pretty bizarre. She had ridden on Natsuki’s motorcycle, spent the night at her house, enjoyed her company, and slept with her. She had felt something that went well beyond comfort and she was not sure what to make of it, but she knew that it was due to Natsuki. It sounded like pure fiction.

School was normal, except for the fact that Shizuru did not have to chastise Natsuki for being late. They had actually arrived early, even after stopping for breakfast that morning. She did wander past Natsuki’s class while on an errand for her teacher and noted that Natsuki looked much more alert and attentive than she had in the previous week.

“I suppose it was more than some flight of fancy that I had,” Shizuru commented. Of course, it would have been a rather weird fantasy if it had been.

If it was an illusion, then Natsuki seemed very happy to continue it. After school, she was waiting out front and could not hide the delight in her eyes when Shizuru exited. Shizuru smiled in return.

“I’ll drive slow today,” Natsuki promised, which seemed to be her way of requesting Shizuru come home with her again.

Shizuru continued to smile. Even though it was odd for Natsuki to be waiting for her and seemingly inviting her back to her home, the manner in which she did it seemed perfectly suited for her. She wondered if Natsuki’s stoic, cool persona was a show or if it was how she was. It was hard to imagine it was how she was considering what Shizuru witnessed last night, but it also suited her.

“I should go home first. I need clothes,” Shizuru explained. Natsuki’s smile faltered and there was a flash in her green eyes. Shizuru intuitively knew that she had less than a second to clear the air or there would be no more invitations. The very idea sent a jolt of fright through her that more than surprised her, but jump-started her brain into action. “I can ride with you to my house and then we can go to your apartment. I do really need more clothes, Natsuki.”

The fast talk seemed to do the trick because Natsuki nodded. “How do you usually get home?” she asked curiously.

“I don’t live to far from here. I generally walk,” Shizuru informed her companion.

“Oh, okay. So, we’ll go get you some extra clothes and then we’ll go home,” Natsuki said, as if it had been her idea the whole time.

Shizuru nodded and smiled before riding off with Natsuki. Thankfully, it was after school, so there were no witnesses around for it. Shizuru had already been questioned enough that day because of her arrival with Natsuki. Of course, she had giggled the questions away, but it was still bothersome. She was not in the mood to be badgered about her life because she was with Natsuki after school.

The ride to Shizuru’s home was about five minutes. Natsuki looked at the size of the house and was not surprised by it. She had heard that Shizuru was from a wealthy family. It was not something that she kept up with, though.

“Would you like to come in? No one’s home right now, but I wouldn’t mind showing you around,” Shizuru offered.

“No, it’s okay,” Natsuki declined because she figured that if she waited outside then Shizuru would hurry to return. Well, if she read Shizuru right anyway.

“All right. I’ll try to be fast about it,” Shizuru said as she dismounted the bike. She was a few feet away when Natsuki spoke again.

“You should get a lot.”

Shizuru turned to face the biker. “Excuse me?”

“Clothes. You should get a lot. And whatever else you need.”

Shizuru guessed that was Natsuki’s way of inviting her over indefinitely. “Wouldn’t that bother your parents?”

“I live alone,” was the response.

“Oh,” Shizuru muttered, even though she sort of expected that. “Where are your parents?”

“Can we talk about this at home?” Natsuki requested.

Shizuru nodded and noted that was the second time Natsuki said “home” instead of “my apartment.” It seemed that she had grown on Natsuki rather quickly and for some reason, she found it adorable. Of course, it might have had something to do with the fact that she thought Natsuki was very cute in her sleep.

So, the tawny-haired teen packed a bag; not “a lot” as Natsuki had entreated, but enough for a few days. She also gathered a few items that she would require, like her toothbrush and toiletries. She returned to Natsuki minutes later and they rode off to Natsuki’s apartment. Again, they ended up on the sofa and they decided to do their homework together.

“So, you said you live here alone,” Shizuru commented while keeping her focus on her studies.

“Yeah,” Natsuki grunted.

“So, where are your parents?”

“Another city. My father needed to stay for his job. My mom died when I was little, but my dad has another wife, who has a daughter. They’ve got a daughter, Alyssa. She’s my little sister. They’re expecting another baby. What about you?” Natsuki inquired.

“I live with my aunts. They don’t have any children. I do have four older siblings, though,” Shizuru replied.

Natsuki blinked. “You’re the baby out of five?” She definitely did not mean to sound as incredulous as she did. She just could not picture Shizuru being the youngest member of her household.

“Yes, I am. Don’t look like that!” Shizuru replied with a laughing smile and a shine in her eyes. She swatted at Natsuki to get rid of the look of disbelief on that pale face.

Natsuki chuckled. “Okay, okay. I mean, you as the baby? Do they spoil you a lot?” As soon as the question left her mouth, all of the joy in the room was obliterated by it.

Shizuru tensed and a hard look over took her eyes. Suddenly, the demeanor that everyone at school was familiar with took over. “No, they do not spoil me. I earn everything,” she stated indignantly.

“Hey, hey, I didn’t mean anything by it,” Natsuki replied, taking the older teen’s hand. She was not sure what to say, so she turned her attention back to her homework without letting go of Shizuru’s hand. Unconsciously, her thumb made tender circles on the older girl’s soft skin.

“What are you working on right now?” Shizuru inquired, changing the subject. She noticed that Natsuki was writing quickly.

“Huh? Physics,” Natsuki answered, flashing her notebook.

“You seem to be very good with it.”

“I like science. I’m at the school because of science. I wouldn’t be able to afford it, but I got a scholarship because of science and math. How about you?”

Shizuru smiled. “I’m on scholarship too, but for languages. I’ve found I have a talent for learning languages.”

“Good, you can help me with English.”

“Then you’ll help me with math.”

With that settled, the pair focused back onto their homework. Oddly enough, they both considered what they were doing normal. It was quaint and Shizuru decided that as long as Natsuki invited her, she would continue to come around. Natsuki figured it was a given that Shizuru would keep coming over.

-8-8-8-8-

Next time: the girls get very domestic, but Shizuru does eventually go home because her aunts are worried about her.


	3. Healthy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t own these characters. I also don’t own the Science Channel or the show “How It’s Made.”
> 
> A/N: this is an AU ShizNat story based on a manga called [Pieta](http://dynasty-scans.com/series/pieta). I recommend it to anyone who likes manga.

3: Healthy 

“Natsuki, we should go shopping,” Shizuru declared, one day out of the blue as far as Natsuki was concerned. The tawny-haired teen hopped off of the couch and looked down at Natsuki in a manner that let her know not to argue.

“Shopping?” the biker echoed in a confused tone.

“Yes, food shopping,” Shizuru replied. “I can only eat so much takeout in a week, Natsuki. Natsuki should have a better diet also.”

“Uh … Shizuru, I don’t know how to cook,” the pale teen confessed. A blush stained her cheeks and she glanced down at her feet.

Crimson eyes softened and a smile overtook Shizuru’s face. “That’s fine. You know what types of food you like, though, correct?”

“Well, yeah …”

“Then it is settled. Natsuki and I shall go shopping. We should probably take a taxi. We’ll be able to hold more.”

Natsuki did not add anything to it since Shizuru was already dialing up a cab service. She guessed it was a good sign that Shizuru wanted groceries. She would stay longer, more than the week she had already been there. She seemed happy enough, Natsuki thought. They did homework together, talked every now and then, watched TV together, got takeout, and shared a bed. Shizuru never complained or spoke an ill word to her. Plus, she never flashed that faux-smile of hers.

“Natsuki-chan, come along,” Shizuru urged her out of her daydreams.

“Huh?” Natsuki asked.

“Come along. The taxi is here,” Shizuru explained, holding her hand out for the ebony-haired woman.

“Oh, okay.” Natsuki followed along like an obedient puppy, taking the offered hand.

Shizuru led the way out and Natsuki locked the door behind them. The cab was waiting and drove them to the nearby supermarket. They then began shopping; it was Natsuki’s first trip to the supermarket in a very long time. Usually, she ate fast food and purchased any drinks that she might need at a convenient store.

“Oh, can we get these?” Natsuki held up a box of cookies, displaying them to Shizuru, who was busy reading the label of a can.

Crimson eyes glanced up. “Natsuki, those aren’t very healthy.”

“Please?” Natsuki begged with a pout. “My mom … my mom used to buy them for me …”

Shizuru turned her attention away from the label and looked directly at Natsuki. She could see a mix of emotions in Natsuki’s eyes; love, sorrow, joy amongst them. She could not deny that look, especially since it was clear the cookies were more than cookies to Natsuki and she remembered the first night that she stayed with Natsuki. She recalled how the biker called out for her mother. The sound she made and the frantic way she scanned the dark living room as if searching for her deceased mother. The memory chilled her, the desperation and despair in Natsuki’s voice echoed in her ears.

“You can have those,” Shizuru said with a smile.

“Great! We can share them,” Natsuki declared with a smile of her own.

The older girl nodded. “Yes, after dinner.”

“Are you going to cook? Because I told you, Shizuru, I don’t know how to cook. I’ve tried before. You know, I always looked it like, ‘hey, it’s just tasty chemistry.’ As it turns out, chemistry is not tasty,” Natsuki remarked.

The student council president laughed. “Well, I’m not very good at chemistry, but I can cook enough for us to survive. I’ll try to show you.”

Natsuki shrugged. “Doesn’t matter,” she replied.

“Of course, it matters. You can’t eat takeout for the rest of your life.”

Natsuki smiled. “No, but I have you to cook for me.”

Shizuru laughed a little and nodded. She did think that Natsuki was cute. She was not sure why Natsuki seemed hell-bent on keeping her, but for the moment, she was happy where she was. It was nice to have a purpose. For some reason, she was very comfortable around Natsuki. The biker allowed her to feel … at home, not just with her surroundings, but inside of her own skin. She was drawn from her thoughts by her phone ringing.

“Natsuki, don’t wander too far and don’t pick up a lot of junk food,” Shizuru said while turning to answer her phone. “Hello, auntie,” she chirped.

“Hello, Shizuru-chan! Such a pleasure to know that you are still alive!” The drama that oozed through the phone put a small smile on Shizuru’s face.

“I called you just last night, auntie.”

“No, you spoke with that barbarian I married. And you continue speak with the barbarian and neglect your poor old auntie,” the whining was real, but the tearful delivery was fake. Shizuru wondered what Natsuki would think of her melodramatic aunt.

“Well, perhaps if you were home more often, I would get a chance to talk with you,” Shizuru teased.

“Says the girl who hasn’t been home in a whole week! What have you been up to, my darling Shizuru?”

Wine-colored eyes drifted to Natsuki, who was down the aisle and trying to pick out more junk food despite Shizuru’s orders. “I’ve been staying with a friend who needs me right now.”

“A friend?” Oh, the perk in her voice was not a good sign.

“Yes, a friend.”

“A tall gentleman perhaps?”

Shizuru chuckled. “Not hardly.”

“Of course you would take all of the fun out of delinquency. You are so much like your siblings. One of them actually cut school once to go to a symphony. You have managed to dodge home for a whole week just to take care of a friend.”

“Auntie, I’ve already discussed this with that barbarian you married,” Shizuru remarked with an amused smile. The expression could be heard in her voice.

“Now you’ll discuss it with me or I will call you at all hours of the night and interrupt whatever fun you might actually be having.”

Shizuru rolled her eyes, even though she knew that her aunt would do it. But, in all, her aunt would only be interrupting them sleeping or watching television. It would get annoying after a while, though, and she was not sure how Natsuki would react to a break in their very contented routine.

“I told you, I am staying with a friend and helping take care of her. It’s nothing clandestine or fun as you call it. We help each other with our studies,” Shizuru tried to explain, but was cut off there.

“You don’t require help for your studies, Shizuru-chan. You’re at the top of your class.”

“Yes, but that doesn’t mean I don’t require help. Natsuki-chan is very capable in science and math, both of which I understand a great deal better thanks to her.”

“Natsuki-chan?” Again, the tone of voice was a bad sign. It was way too playful and suggestive.

“I’m hanging up now, auntie.”

“Wait! I’ll behave. Just tell me that everything is fine.”

“Everything is fine,” Shizuru answered in earnest. She was surprised that everything was fine, but it was.

“Just try not to wear out your welcome with your new friend, Shizuru-chan. I don’t want her parents throwing you out.”

Shizuru smiled a little. “I’ll do my best.”

“Come home whenever you get the chance.”

“Of course I will. Goodbye.”

“Goodbye.”

The call was ended and Shizuru turned her attention back to Natsuki. “Put down the potato chips,” she called.

Natsuki jumped and actually hid the bag behind her back before realizing how stupid that was. She placed the potato chips back on the shelf and turned to Shizuru with the best innocent look that she could muster. The older teen did not buy it.

“I was just looking,” Natsuki lied.

“No more junk food,” Shizuru stated. “Now, come along. We’ve got more shopping to do if we’re ever going to be able to eat a home cooked meal.”

Natsuki twisted her mouth up into a pout that Shizuru ignored. As she walked off, emerald eyes lingered on the chips for a moment and then Natsuki followed Shizuru. She wanted to help shop, too.

-8-8-8-8-

“I’ll put everything away,” Natsuki volunteered after they carried the last grocery bag into the kitchen. She had paid for everything and it was a ton of stuff; Shizuru was definitely right about getting a cab instead of taking the bike.

“I’ll get started on dinner then,” Shizuru said.

“Fair enough. I hope I have enough pots and stuff,” the biker commented. “I never really used ‘em.”

“I checked everything before I suggested the shopping trip.”

“Oh. I guess you got this,” Natsuki remarked with a smile.

“Yes, Natsuki, I do ‘got this’ as you so quaintly put it,” the student council president replied with a smile. “Is there anything specific you want tonight that we picked up?”

Natsuki smiled. “Anything with noodles is fine by me.”

So, they did their respective chores. Natsuki was finished first and went to start her homework. A few minutes later, Shizuru served dinner. Natsuki put her books down and turned on the TV.

“That cop show you like is on,” Natsuki said, finding the program easily.

“It just started?” Shizuru asked. “It should be a new episode.”

“Yup, it did and, yup, it is.”

“I watch this all the time with my aunt.”

Natsuki nodded. “I never heard of it before you showed me all those repeats. I never knew a show could come on like eight times in a row every night.”

“My aunt introduced me to it. Speaking of her, Natsuki, I think I shall go home this weekend.”

“Huh? Why?” Natsuki put her food down and turned her attention directly to Shizuru. Emerald eyes were wide with panic and a pale jaw quivered with fear and shame of doing something that offended Shizuru. “But, I thought it was nice here and you got food to cook and you made dinner and I can be better if that’s the problem. I can …” the words all came out in a shaking rush.

Shizuru moved and cupped Natsuki’s face with her hands. Skin contact always calmed Natsuki down instantly; it was something that Shizuru noticed almost immediately about the younger girl. They locked eyes.

“I’m not leaving you, Natsuki. I just need to go home and show my aunts that I’m all right,” Shizuru vowed.

“You will come back, though, right?” The biker gulped softly, afraid of what the answer might be, thinking that she had managed to screw up without knowing it. _It wouldn’t be the first time_.

Shizuru nodded. “Natsuki, I’m very grateful that you invited me here. It wasn’t until I started staying with you that I realized how lonely I truly am. Now, I don’t know if the same can be said for you,” she started, even though she was beyond sure that Natsuki was very lonely. “I enjoy being around you. I enjoy being myself around you. I would never easily let this go. I will be back.”

“Okay.”

“So, I’ll go this weekend. I’ll meet you after school on Monday, all right?”

“Sounds good. I have an appointment this weekend, anyway.”

“An appointment?” Shizuru asked. That had never come up in the week that she had essentially been living with the biker.

“Um … yeah, I sort of … uh, have a doctor’s appointment.”

Shizuru knew not to pry. Natsuki would tell her about it when she felt like it. So, instead of asking about the appointment, she smiled.

“It’s good that it works out for us.”

The rest of the night was as peaceful as usual. They finished dinner and Natsuki did the dishes while Shizuru started her homework. They quietly worked on their homework together and then watched a little more television. They slept in Natsuki’s bed with the biker curled into Shizuru’s warm body and secure embrace. The night was peaceful.

-8-8-8-8-

“Good morning, Natsuki,” a gray-haired woman said as she opened the door to her office. Natsuki stepped in.

“Good morning, Doctor Graceburt,” Natsuki said with a rare smile. She brushed past the older woman and went to sit down in one of the cushy armchairs.

“You seem to be in good spirits,” Doctor Maria Graceburt noted, but she did not offer anything beyond that. She went and sat across Natsuki in the other armchair. This was their usual position, but it typically took Natsuki much longer to sit down.

Natsuki smiled again and nodded. “I guess,” she replied nonchalantly. It would seem that she did not realize that she was telegraphing her feelings on her face.

“I haven’t seen you at all this week. You canceled our Tuesday appointment, but it would seem that it did you good to miss that session. So, is there anything you want to discuss? Anything from last time that you’d like to go back to?” the doctor asked, pulling out her notepad.

“Nothing I can think of.”

“No?” Maria glanced down at her notes and seemed to weigh which item she wanted to hit first. “What about your sleeping habits? Last time you were here, I was seriously three seconds away from prescribing you sleeping pills. Looking at you now, it seems we’re going to avoid a fight because you have good color – for you, anyway – and those dark circles are finally gone. Have you been sleeping this week?”

“I have been sleeping soundly everyday this week, so you can stop with your weird, crazy ideas that I need sleeping pills,” Natsuki huffed, folding her arms over her chest to show how much she was against that idea. “I canceled Tuesday because I was sleeping.” It was a lie, but she had not felt like leaving Shizuru just to go to therapy.

Maria nodded. “That’s good. What about your nightmares?”

“I haven’t had one in days. You think I might be cured?”

“Natsuki, I don’t think you’ll ever be cured of your nightmares. You went through a traumatic event, but I think they will impact you less as you do improve. It’s good that you’ve been sleeping and haven’t had a nightmare in days, though. That’s a good start,” Maria said, knowing that it was best to encourage Natsuki. Positive reinforcement helped Natsuki stay positive, even though she would continue coming to therapy no matter what.

“I figured you’d say something like that.”

“School work still going well, I take it?”

“It’s fine, as always. Scholarship stays in tact and hopefully, it’ll get me into college,” Natsuki replied.

“I’m sure you’ll go to college and it will probably be on an academic scholarship. Have you made any friends yet?” Maria asked.

Natsuki snorted. “You always ask the same questions. The next thing is going to be if I’ve seen my father or my sister lately, which is of course no,” she stated soundly.

“Have you at least spoken to your father?”

“No.”

“Have you called him?” Maria pressed.

“Recently? Like in the past month?” Natsuki inquired with a puzzled look.

“Yes, let’s say past month.”

“I called him twice. He didn’t answer and I didn’t leave a message. He’s probably busy with work or something,” Natsuki said dismissively, waving the whole thing off.

Maria nodded and jotted something down. “Do you want to talk about him at all?”

“Not much to talk about. I’ll call him later. I need to up my allowance from the trust.”

“Why? I thought you always figured that you had more than you needed.”

Natsuki shrugged. “Things changed.” Now, she was going to have to support herself and Shizuru. She was going to have to pay for groceries and takeout for two when Shizuru did not cook. She had saved some money up, but that would not sustain them for very long.

“And what has changed?” Maria pressed. Whatever it was, she was sure put the twinkle in Natsuki’s eyes.

“Nothing big. Just stuff. So, like I said, I’ll talk to Dad when I call him about the money. Not like he’s gonna talk to me that long, anyway,” she snorted. “He’s always got work to do or his wife is bugging him.” Emerald eyes rolled.

Maria knew when to get off a subject and now would be the time for something else. “Well, what about your little sister? Do you think you’ll speak with her?”

Natsuki waved the question off. “Her mom doesn’t want her talking to me. She thinks I’ll hurt Alyssa or something,” she grumbled and frowned.

“Have you explained to her that you wouldn’t do such a thing?”

“You know I can’t explain shit to that woman. She acts like it’s my fault Alyssa came in the room _that_ time! I told Alyssa to leave! She just wouldn’t listen to me,” Natsuki huffed.

“Would have preferred that she leave? Wouldn’t you have shot yourself if she had listened?” Maria asked.

Natsuki was silent for a moment. Her brow wrinkled and fiddled with her fingers, remembering the time in question. It happened seven years ago; she was nine and Alyssa was three. Her mother had already been dead for two years and her father had been remarried just as long to a woman that despised her very existence. She was plagued by nightmares, memory gaps, and pains from the accident that took her mother and almost took her. Despair gnawed at her guts while the ghost her mother and her happiness haunted her. Darkness consumed her and cold dissolved her. There only seemed to be one answer for it.

Getting a gun was easy; her father collected them. She could load the little revolver with no problem; watching TV had served her well in that area. She had been certain no one would miss her. Her father and his wife already practically had her believing that she was invisible. They never saw her. Her so-called step-sister, Miyu, never saw her, learning to ignore her after they clashed over just about everything. As far as Natsuki was concerned, she was already dead and had been for two years. Death just forgot to take her body, so she would resolve that.

The hammer had been cocked and the pistol was ready to fire when Alyssa walked in; she was the only person that considered Natsuki alive outside of her therapists and other doctors still checking up on her after the accident. She tried to get Alyssa to leave, went so far as to shove her. The child only cried, though, and attracted the attention of everyone in the house …

_“Natsuki, what the hell are you doing?” her father bellowed as he changed in the room. His wife was right by his side._

_“Oh my god!” the wife shrieked, obviously noticing the gun in Natsuki’s hand. She pointed down at the firearm before grabbing Alyssa. “She’s trying to kill my baby!”_

_“What? No!” Natsuki tried to object, but did not get beyond those two words. Her father stormed over to her, snatched the gun from her grasp, and flung her against the wall. Her small body buckled from the pain._

_“We have to get her out of here! She tried to hurt our daughter!” the wife screeched._

“Natsuki,” a distant voice said. “Natsuki? Natsuki?” The voice sounded like it was getting closer.

Natsuki blinked rapidly and shook her head, wanting to dispel the thoughts that haunted her. “Sorry, doc. You said something?”

“I asked about your sister, but from the look on your face I could tell what you were thinking about. Have you been hurting yourself?” Doctor Graceburt asked.

The biker shook her head. “Not lately.” _Not in the past week, anyway_.

“Define lately,” Maria deadpanned. She had not asked about Natsuki’s tendency to injure herself because it seemed like the girl found a good substitute for it.

“A couple of weeks ago … my bike had a flat and I didn’t feel like fixing it.”

“So, what did you do instead?”

“I punched a nearby wall until my knuckles were bleeding,” the pale teen explained, looking away in obvious shame.

“Natsuki.” The doctor sighed. She put her hand to her forehead and shook her head in disapproval.

“I know! We both agreed that’s not going to help, but I was really frustrated! The damn bike had to go and have a flat and I was having those fucking nightmares and it was like the walls were closing in and it was so dark and cold!” Her arms immediately went around herself, as if to protect her from the darkness and the chill that existed only in her mind.

“Natsuki, I don’t care if it’s raining fire and brimstone. We agreed that you were not punching or kicking any more immovable or solid objects to vent. If you can’t ride your bike, what should you do?”

“Call you,” Natsuki grumbled.

“Yes, call me.”

The therapy session went on like normal. As Natsuki was getting ready to leave, she shoved her hands into her pants pockets and knocked out a string of photos from a photo booth. Maria picked them up and saw in all four pictures Natsuki was sitting and posing with a tawny-haired teen.

“Natsuki, you dropped these,” Maria informed the girl before she could make it out of the door.

“Huh?” Natsuki turned to see. “Oh, thanks. I forgot these were in my pocket,” she mumbled while taking the photos back and shoving them in her pocket again. “Later, doc. Same time tomorrow and then next week,” she said and was out the door.

“Bye, Natsuki,” Maria replied. “And next time be a little more subtle about dropping happy hints,” she muttered under her breath. She could not help smiling.

-8-8-8-8-

Shizuru was surprised to find no one awake in the house when she arrived there in the morning. Usually the place was abuzz before nine AM, but there was nothing happening now. She guessed it was one of those rare lazy Saturdays that hit the house every now and then.

She marched to her bedroom and gathered a few items to return with her to Natsuki’s apartment. Things that she thought would make the place seem a little more like a home than Natsuki’s magazines. Well, of course, there was also Natsuki’s little stuffed toy dog that was now hidden underneath her pillow, but that was not something Natsuki was willing to share yet. Shizuru only knew about it because she made the bed now; Natsuki never bothered because she reasoned they were just going to sleep in it and mess it up again, so “why bother?” Obviously, Natsuki had felt differently a week ago because when Shizuru had first slept in the bed, it had been perfectly made and that was the first and only time she saw the plush toy dog out in the open.

She then packed away a few more clothes, especially undergarments, even though she would not be leaving for Natsuki’s home until Monday. For a few minutes, she relaxed in her bed and noted the difference between her bed and Natsuki’s bed. Hers was certainly bigger and more comfortable, but it lacked something – something warm, soft, and liked to cuddle into her.

“Have I gotten so used to holding Natsuki already?” Shizuru wondered.

To test the theory, Shizuru embraced one of her pillows and held it. It definitely was not the same as holding Natsuki. There was nothing to compare. She was shocked at how quickly she had become accustomed to the routine after only a week. She could not imagine sleeping alone anymore. It would feel awkward, lonely, and a little wrong.

“Well, I will be staying here this weekend, so I will have to sleep alone for now,” Shizuru reminded herself.

Dismissing her thoughts, Shizuru finished up with her tasks, just wanting to make sure everything was in place, so that she did not forget anything. With those things done, she left her room and heard signs of life. As she got closer to the noise, she smelled lunch being prepared.

“Shizuru-chan!” her aunt cheered as she caught sight of the teenager.

“Auntie Anh,” Shizuru smiled as her cheerful aunt embraced her.

“I was beginning to fear that you’d never come home. I thought we had done something wrong,” Anh sniffled as she released her niece.

“No, nothing like that. My friend, Natsuki, she just needs me right now,” Shizuru explained. Of course, she was already beginning to believe that she needed Natsuki, too, if only a little. With Natsuki, she could be herself completely … mostly because if she did not, Natsuki would call her on it and she was fine with that.

“Well, will you be staying for lunch?”

“I’ll be home for the weekend.”

Anh’s face lit up. “Wonderful! Be sure to tell that barbarian I married.”

Shizuru nodded and walked off to where she knew that “barbarian” would be in. Entering the living room, she saw the top of the shaggy, light cerulean hair. The television was not on, so Shizuru suspected the “barbarian” was asleep or reading.

“Greetings, Aunt Laula,” Shizuru greeted as she rounded the sofa.

“Shizuru,” Laula smiled, looking up from her book. “We’ve missed you this past week. Anh swears that you’ve abandoned us and you hate us.”

“She has abandoned us, dearest!” Anh pretended to wail as she entered the living room. She threw herself on Laula, who had to laugh at the melodramatics.

“Only a Fujino could say that and almost sound sincere,” Laula remarked. Shizuru laughed and nodded in agreement.

“It’s better than considering that we might have lost her. I feared that I would have to report her missing and then explain to my brother that we had lost his youngest child,” Anh sighed. “He would never forgive me if we lost his baby. I would have had to commit seppuku!” The declaration earned a very deliberate eye-roll from her spouse.

“Forgive me, aunties. I should explain. As I continue to say, I’m staying with a friend. She lives on her own and just seems … well, better when I’m around,” Shizuru tried to explain.

“Better?” Laula echoed with an arched eyebrow that begged for elaboration.

“Before I began staying with her, she was cold and unapproachable. Everyone at school was frightened of her and I think that was how she preferred it. But, she befriended me and she has lightened up. It seems that she just requires company, as any human being does,” Shizuru reported with a light smile.

The expression was more fascinating than the words. The two women knew that they would not be able to pry detailed information out of Shizuru, but they had never seen her smile in such a way before. They had never seen the shine in her red eyes either. They knew that she was getting more out of the deal than she was saying, but it better explained her week-long absence than her “helping a friend” excuse.

“Well, what have you been up to this week with this friend of yours?” Anh asked in a teasing tone.

“The same things that I would do here,” Shizuru replied, waving her aunt’s tone away.

“Leave her alone, Anh,” Laula scolded the brunette and pinched her in the side. Anh yelped, but did not drag the teasing on. Laula turned her attention back to the teen. “It’s good that you’ve made a friend that you feel comfortable with and want to spend some time with,” she told the girl.

Shizuru was about to argue that she had plenty of friends, but they all knew that was not true. Shizuru had plenty of admirers, but the closet thing that she had to a friend before Natsuki was Haruka. Haruka, who was not afraid to tell her the truth to her face and disagree with her almost all of the time. But, Haruka was a far cry from a real friend. They never spent time together outside of school and they never spoke about things beyond school matters. No, Haruka was not a friend. Natsuki was, though, and she would keep that friendship for as long as possible.

“So, Shizuru-chan, how is this going to work? How long will you be staying with this friend?” Anh asked curiously.

“I think we have it worked out where I will spend the week there and the weekend here. Is that a problem?” Shizuru replied.

Anh was about to say something, but Laula stepped in first. “That sounds fine. Just try to call us more often than you have this week.”

“Call your parents, too, when you get a chance,” Anh chimed in.

Shizuru nodded; she would call her parents and speak to them for about two minutes. But, for now, she wanted to forget about that and just enjoy her aunts’ company until it was time to go back home.

-8-8-8-8-

Next time: find out more about Natsuki’s family and Shizuru’s family.


	4. Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t own these characters. I also don’t own the Science Channel or the show “How It’s Made.”
> 
> A/N: this is an AU ShizNat story based on a manga called [Pieta](http://dynasty-scans.com/series/pieta). I recommend it to anyone who likes manga.

4: Home

Natsuki was bored without Shizuru around. She had already wasted the whole day riding her bike after therapy, but she had to return home at some point. She had eaten some leftovers that Shizuru put away the other day and she was attempting to watch television, but nothing seemed worth watching. Even her favorite show held less appeal now that she was alone and she found herself not caring how “it’s” made for quite possibly the first time in her whole life. 

“Might as well call Dad. Get it out of the way,” Natsuki grumbled. It was a necessary evil, so she grabbed her cell phone and made the call. “What’re the odds of him picking up, anyway?”

“Hello?” a grumbled, deep voice answered.

“Dad?” she squeaked in utter surprise. It had been a very long time since he answered a call from her. In fact, she was sure that he picked up his phone once a month when she was involved and she was sure that she spent that at the beginning of the month.

“Shit,” he hissed and Natsuki knew that he had forgotten to check the caller ID, which was why he picked up the phone. “Do you know what time it is?” he grumbled. It was clear that he was frowning just from his displeased tone.

“No,” she answered honestly. Since she had no plans to sleep over the weekend, she did not see the point in keeping track of the time. Once it was Monday and time for school, time would be important again.

“What the hell do you want?” he demanded.

Natsuki frowned, but found his attitude did not matter. “I need an increase in my allowance.”

“What? Why?” It sounded like she had his attention now.

“Doesn’t matter why. I just do,” she answered. It was none of his damn business, especially when he could not even feign civility toward her anymore.

“Natsuki, I’m not just going to let you throw money away. You know we need to save and times are hard.”

“Yeah, but it’s my money,” Natsuki said. Not to mention, she already did save. Of course, her father did not know that because he did not know anything about her. _Not that he wants to know a damn thing about me_.

“Well, your mother left it in my care to make sure you don’t spend it all. So, I don’t think I’ll be upping your allowance, especially with that attitude.”

“I need the money,” she insisted. Of course, she could probably get by on what she had as long as Shizuru did not mind paying a little for stuff, but she did not want that. She had asked Shizuru to stay and Shizuru did her the favor of staying. Now, it was up to her to make sure that Shizuru was comfortable. She had to take care of Shizuru and she required a little more money in order to do so.

“So does my family, but you don’t see me going up to my boss demanding more money and I have a job,” he said.

“What does that have to do with anything?” Natsuki inquired, completely and utterly baffled. Her face twisted up and she wished that her father just stuck to the issues for once in his life.

“I’m not increasing your allowance so you can blow it on whatever new toy has your attention. You waste enough money as it is. If you need more money, go get a job.”

“My school doesn’t allow for after-school jobs, not that it has anything to do with what I’m asking. What are you even talking about?” _It’s my fucking money!_ Her mother specifically left her all of her worldly possessions, accounts, and the life insurance policy. It was all hers. It just so happened that an adult needed to be in charge if the trust account until she was eighteen. _How the hell is he going to tell me not to blow my own money?_ Making it worse, he claimed that she wasted money. _On what?_ She lived in a tiny apartment on the bare minimum of everything! Having two pillows on her bed was a luxury for her beyond owning her motorcycle!

“Is that that ungrateful girl? How dare she ask for money when we’re barely able to make ends meet,” Natsuki could hear the shrill sound of her father’s wife’s voice – the Anti-Christ, as Natsuki liked to think of her. “It’s bad enough we have to live in this little hole and have all of the neighbors think we’re poor while she’s leeching the life out of us with her apartment, bike, and bills! Just taking food from her sisters’ mouths and not to mention the new baby!”

There were times, like now, where Natsuki just wanted to beat her father and his partner in the head with the nearest blunt object. She was requesting something reasonable and well within her rights and they were talking out of their asses. She was not asking them to take money out of their own pockets for her. She had money to support herself and she wanted it.

“Dad, I want an increase in my allowance. Simple as that,” Natsuki stated and then she hung up because she did not have time to deal with those people. Glaring at her phone, she questioned it as if it would answer. “Who the fuck are they to tell me about my own money? My mother left it for me and the only reason he can even touch it is because I’m not old enough yet. Who the hell are they to tell me I can’t have more?”

Natsuki stood up and was millimeters from putting a hole in her living room wall before she stopped her fist. It would do her no good for Shizuru to come back on Monday and see a hole in the wall. It would be even worse if Shizuru saw her knuckles bloodied and bruised. So, instead of busting her hand and her wall, she grabbed her jacket and took off on her bike. She figured she might have to ride the bike until the wheels fell off or until it was magically Monday morning.

-8-8-8-8-

Shizuru yawned as she woke up in her bed. Rubbing her eyes, she checked her clock to see that it was actually time to wake up. She had woken up three times that night, reaching for Natsuki and not finding her. It was strange to sleep in the bed and she was glad that the day was finally started, but she was not looking forward to sleeping in the bed again tonight.

“I want my Natsuki …” she muttered without even considering what she said as she hugged her pillow.

She showered and dressed, going downstairs to find that Anh had started on breakfast. Laula was reading the paper at the dining room table. _They’re so old-fashioned_. It went to the point that Anh insisted on cooking almost every meal to serve her spouse and Laula went to work everyday in suit to support her loving housewife.

Before joining her aunts, Shizuru thought it would be a good idea to call her parents. It would get that out of the way and her aunts would have nothing to badger her about if she got it out of the way. Sitting down in the living room alone, Shizuru used her cell phone to call her parents.

“Hello, Okaasan,” she greeted. She had to swallow down a slight tremble in her throat. She took a deep breath with the hope that it would ease the tension in her chest. It did nothing.

“Shizuru-chan, it’s so good to hear from you,” her mother said, a smile in her voice.

“How are things?” Shizuru inquired, trying her best to sound interested, but all she did was sound unnerved. _I do want to know how they are and I also want my stomach to stop trembling at the sound of my mother’s voice_.

“Everything is fine. Anh-san told us that you’ve been well. Laula-san has also commented on how well you’re doing.”

Shizuru shifted a little, uncomfortable already. “Um … how are you and Otousan?” _If I get the topic off of me, I might be able to draw this phone call out longer than usual. Keep it together, Shizuru; they are your loving parents_. That thought only made her stomach quiver more.

“We are well. We were thinking of coming by one day. Only for a few minutes.”

Shizuru swallowed to push down the nervousness. “I don’t see how that would be a problem. Perhaps next weekend?”

“Well, we would have to ask your aunts to make sure it’s acceptable, but I’m sure we could make it out there next weekend. It would be nice to see you again. It’s almost been a month.”

“I know it has. My apologies. I was just so interested in getting ready for school.”

“Understandable. It’s your last year. Do your best,” her mother said.

“I will.” She did not want to talk about school with her mother, but then again, her mother knew that.

“Have you been playing your piano?” The question was not really the best deviation, but compared to school it was a safer subject. Of course, that was like saying strolling through a minefield was safer compared to running through an automatic weapons firing range.

“Not lately. Again school. Perhaps … perhaps I could play when you come over, though,” Shizuru proposed and it felt like her stomach dropped into her knees. _I need to try with my parents_. They were trying with her and she knew that logically there was no reason for her to be so apprehensive. Her parents loved her and they were good, fair people. Again, she knew that logically, but emotionally, she was still catching up.

“I would enjoy that, Shizuru. I’m sure your Otousan would, too. Would like to speak with him?” her mother asked, knowing it best not to push Shizuru.

“Yes, of course.”

“One moment.”

A few seconds later her father was on the phone, “Hello, Shizuru.”

“Hello, Otousan. How are you?”

“Better now that you’ve called. We were worried,” he admitted with a soft, warm chuckle. She knew that he was concerned that she had regressed and withdrawn back into herself, away from them. She actually felt more at ease now with them than she had in a long time. Yes, there was still the anxiety that she expected, but it was not crippling and it was not hurrying her off of the phone with them. She had even kept it together when talking to her mother about herself.

“Forgive me, Otousan …”

“It’s fine, Shizuru,” he cut in very quickly, obviously not wanting her to get down on herself as that was a sure sign that the call would end.

“Are you sure?” her voice sounded smaller than usual, almost afraid. _As nervous as they make me, I don’t want to scare them away or for them to give up on me_. Her greatest fear was that one day, her parents would finally get fed up with her extremely peculiar issues and they would decide that she was no longer worth the effort. Of course, she knew that was more her issues talking than any reality.

“Very much so. We’re happy to hear from you now and that’s all and always. Now, your mother is telling me that you volunteered to play the piano for us when we come over next weekend.”

“I did.”

“I look forward to it then. Is there anything else you want to tell us about?” he asked curiously.

“Nothing of any importance yet,” Shizuru replied. She was tempted to mention Natsuki, but she did not want her parents to know about that just yet. Telling them too much too soon would lead to them getting extremely excited, which would in turn make her very nervous and she would shut down. It would be counterproductive.

“Still on the student council?”

“Yes, Otousan and still the president,” she answered with a sigh.

“You should quit,” he surprisingly suggested.

Ruby eyes blinked hard. “Excuse me?”

“Your mother was saying that the other day. You should quit. I know you feel like you would be disappointing the students, but if it’s not something that you want to do …”

Shizuru mulled it over. “I’m not sure if I should quit. I am there already.” _My siblings would not quit; no Fujino ever quit anything once they started_.

“Just think about it.”

“I will. I need to go now, Otousan. Breakfast is ready.”

“All right. See you next weekend.”

“All right.”

Shizuru ended the call and went to have breakfast with her aunts. As expected, she was asked about speaking to her parents and she was pleased to report that she had already called them. The day past without incident, but her night was restless. She tossed and turned, which was something new to her and she knew why. She was quite joyous when Monday morning showed up.

-8-8-8-8-

Natsuki arrived at school feeling blessed that it was finally Monday. She wished that there was angelic singing to bless the arrival of the day, but she would do with just seeing Shizuru. She knew that she would not see Shizuru until after school, but she might catch a glimpse of her holding court during lunch. She still watched Shizuru when her hopeless admirers and followers surrounded her in the quad and other common areas. The smiles were getting a bit gentler and more genuine with each passing day. Shizuru seemed to realize that she did not have to hang on the word of every single person that spoke to her, which Natsuki was proud of.

Natsuki was distracted from her thoughts on Shizuru by a familiar blond head. The small blond was holding the hand of teenage girl with light blue hair. She was pretty sure those two people were her little sister Alyssa and Alyssa’s older sister Miyu. Natsuki’s forehead wrinkled and she decided to inspect things further because there was no reason for those two to be at Fuuka Academy. After all, her father and his wife swore that money was tight.

“They can’t afford to send me here, but they can afford to send both Alyssa and Miyu here?” Natsuki wondered.

Fuuka Academy was a private school with a high tuition. It was affiliated with a school that she used to go to back when her mother was alive. When her mother was alive, she had been able to afford the tuition at the other school and her mother had been an alumnus of her previous school. When her mother died and her family moved, she had to start from scratch. She had found the affiliated school and took the entrance exam, even after her father scolded her about not being able to afford it. That was all she ever heard, they could not afford the school, no matter how great it was and yet there were Alyssa and Miyu.

“I shouldn’t be surprised,” Natsuki muttered while shaking her head, but that did not stop her from following the pair to the grade school section of the academy.

When the two turned to a classroom, Natsuki saw that they were indeed Alyssa and Miyu. It seemed like that was enough for Natsuki. She did not need anything beyond the confirmation.

“Not like I’ll see them, anyway,” Natsuki grumbled as she put her hands into her skirt’s pockets. After all, Alyssa was a child and Miyu was only a first year in high school.

The biker was determined not to allow her day to be ruined. She was going home with Shizuru, after all. She had to wait after school for the tawny-haired teenager because of a student council meeting, but it was worth it. When Shizuru exited the school building, Natsuki could not help smiling. Silently, she noted that she felt lighter the second that Shizuru was near.

“Good afternoon, Natsuki. I hope you haven’t been waiting long,” Shizuru said with a smile of her own.

“I don’t mind. Let me get your stuff,” Natsuki insisted, taking Shizuru’s schoolbag as well as an overnight bag from the older girl. She packed those items away in the small storage space on her bike and gave Shizuru her helmet; Natsuki bought her one the second day they were together.

“Thank you,” Shizuru said graciously and with a hint of surprised bashfulness that caused the biker to smile wider than before.

They were off and back in the sanctuary that was Natsuki’s apartment. Shizuru actually breathed a sigh of relief when she crossed the threshold. She was home. It was the first time that she had ever felt that way about any place.

“Natsuki, what would you like for dinner tonight?” Shizuru asked curiously.

“Let’s worry about that later. Let’s just sit down and watch some TV,” Natsuki proposed, motioning to the couch.

Shizuru did not argue with that and they settled on the sofa. They started out almost on opposite ends, but somehow ended up practically leaning into each other before the show was even over. By the time they were watching something else, Shizuru’s legs were resting on Natsuki’s lap. It easily became normal for them.

“So, how was your weekend, Shizuru?” Natsuki inquired.

“It was fine. I enjoyed my aunts’ company. I was also able to grab a few things that I wanted to show you. They’re in my bag,” Shizuru recollected.

The willowy teenager rose from the couch; Natsuki whined at the lost and pouted like a toddler whose favorite toy had been taken away. Shizuru smiled at the biker, but she did not return. She retrieved her overnight bag and carried it to the couch. Opening the satchel, she pulled out a couple of small photo albums.

“I wanted to bring a piece of myself into the apartment,” Shizuru explained as she resettled against Natsuki, even putting her legs back into the biker’s lap.

“Photos?” Natsuki peered at the photos with an almost childish intrigue.

“Just a few. They mostly feature me as a child. I must warn you, I am not as miserable as I look. I swear,” Shizuru said with a smile.

“I’m sure you were adorable.”

Shizuru giggled a little and opened the album. The first picture was her as a toddler. Natsuki smiled as she stared at the large red eyes of adorable baby Fujino in a little kimono. Sure, enough though, Shizuru was pouting and her brow was furrowed. She looked a cross between vexed and depressed.

“Why do you look like that?” Natsuki asked as she pointed down to the small scrunched up face. “Was it a bad day or something?”

“No, it wasn’t a bad day as far as I know. I was told that was a party. I look this way in most of my pictures as I said. It’s never because the picture was taken on a bad day,” Shizuru replied, sounding a little unsure. She trusted that Natsuki would understand and she would not have to go into full detail.

Natsuki nodded and flipped the page. “You play the piano?” she asked when she saw the next picture of little Shizuru at a baby grand piano.

“Yes, I play the piano. My mother saw my fingers when I was born, she says, and knew that I was born to play. I took to it like a fish to water, I’ve been told.”

“Do you still play?”

“Not often.”

“You don’t like it?” the biker asked.

“No, actually, I do enjoy it. Sometimes, I’m just … unsure …” Squinting, wine-colored eyes seemed to search for something that Shizuru could not find. Only when Natsuki took her hand did Shizuru focus again.

Natsuki blinked in surprise, but quickly recovered. “You shouldn’t be unsure, Shizuru, especially things that you’re good at. If you play the piano well and enjoy it, play the piano. Hell, if you suck at it and you enjoy it, you should do it,” she proclaimed with a bright grin.

Her deep emerald eyes shined in a way that comforted her companion and eased her soul. In the back of her mind, Shizuru made note of the feeling and realized she had felt it often with Natsuki. There was just something about the ebony-haired girl that made everything in her world feel proper and correct.

Shizuru smiled. “I will try to remember that.”

Natsuki turned her attention to the next picture. “Oh, is that your big brother?” She pointed to the tawny-haired adolescent holding Shizuru. “And how old are you in this picture?”

“I am five there and that is my oniisan. He enjoyed when I was small enough to twirl around.”

“He looks happy holding you, but you’re pouting again.”

“It is just something I do. You’ll see it in all of the pictures. Please, don’t take it as a sign of my family or the day. I just pout or frown often as a child.”

Natsuki nodded and continued to flip through the pictures. Shizuru pouted and frowned slightly in most of them. The rare times that she was not doing either, she had a blank expression. As she got older in the pictures, there were signs of her faux-smile showing up. Natsuki guessed that she had learned to feign interest somewhere around the age of seven or eight.

“Thank you for bringing this and sharing with me, Shizuru,” the younger teen said in a small voice as she gently ran a finger along one of the last pictures. Shizuru looked like she was around ten and she had perfected the art of feigning happiness, wearing a smile that almost lit up her eyes, but did nothing to mask the depression lurking underneath her exterior.

“Does Natsuki have any photo albums?” Shizuru asked curiously as Natsuki made it through her first album and moved to get the second one.

“I think I have one. Let me look around for it,” Natsuki answered.

“I’ll get started on dinner then. What would you like tonight? Hamburger steak perhaps?” the student council president suggested.

Natsuki grinned. “I didn’t know we had that.”

“Yes, we have that. Is that what you’d like?”

“Yeah!” Natsuki then balked at her enthusiasm. She rushed away to try to find her photo album before she embarrassed herself further.

The biker had to think about where she kept things. First, she checked all of the junk on her coffee table; well, what used to be junk. The coffee table was a little more organized than it used to be. If Shizuru had her way, the table would be clean and clear before the week was out; of course, if Natsuki had her way, it would look like it did the first day Shizuru arrived before the week was out. There was nothing on the coffee table, so she moved on.

She then went to her bedroom closet and ran through it once, but she did not find it in there. Scratching her head, she tried to think of where else she kept things from her past. Emerald eyes scanned the room as her brain tried to remember.

“Oh, the trunk,” Natsuki recalled, ducking underneath her bed. She yanked out a trunk and began searching through it. “Gotcha!” She yanked out the one photo album that she had.

“Natsuki, dinner,” Shizuru called out.

“Coming,” Natsuki replied and she hurried back to sofa. Shizuru was already placing their meals down on the coffee table. “Hey, I found a photo album,” she announced, holding up the tome.

“Oh, I’ll look at it after dinner,” Shizuru said.

Natsuki nodded and then turned her attention to her meal. “This looks so good!”

The ebony-haired teen dug into her meal with zeal. Shizuru was more controlled, but pleased to see that her cooking was appreciated. Once Shizuru was done, she reached for the photo album and began looking through it.

“Oh, is this Natsuki’s okaasan?” Shizuru asked, pointing to a woman in one of the first photos.

Natsuki peered over. “Yup, that’s my mom.”

“You look just like her.”

“Yeah, I know. People told me my whole life that I look like my mom and I can see it.”

Shizuru smiled. “Natsuki-chan was cute,” she cooed as she saw baby pictures of Natsuki. A very tiny Natsuki was cuddled close to a woman she bore more than a strong resemblance to in the pictures. “Your mother looks so happy holding you.”

“My mom liked telling me I was the best thing in her life. She always made me feel precious.”

“Lucky you, Natsuki, lucky you. Were you her only child?”

“I was. She and my father … well, I don’t really know the nature of their relationship. I do know that my mom loved being around me. She took me everywhere. She took me …” Natsuki choked up and took a deep breath. “She took me …”

Shizuru leaned over and embraced the pale woman. “It’s all right, Natsuki. It’s all right,” she whispered in a gentle tone.

“I was in the car …” Her voice broke as she reported that bit of news.

“The car?”

“With my mom. I don’t remember a lot of what happened, but I know I was in the car and it was so cold, so dark. Everything was so quiet. I knew she was dead, but I kept saying she was just knocked out and she would wake up soon and it wouldn’t be so dark and cold anymore and everything would be fine and we’d just go home,” Natsuki said, shivering as she spoke. Her teeth chattered together and she wrapped her arms around Shizuru, clinging to the older girl.

“It’s all right, Natsuki. It’s all right,” Shizuru promised, holding her friend tightly. She tenderly caressed Natsuki’s bare arm and the small of her back.

Natsuki took a deep breath and laughed. “You’re right. It is all right. It hadn’t been all right for a long time and I never got to go home until now. It’s warm now and definitely not dark,” she said. It was always warm in Shizuru’s arms and it damn sure felt like home.

Shizuru smiled at the admission and Natsuki was the one that flipped the album to the next picture. They made it through the whole album before they came across a picture of Natsuki’s father; he was standing with little Natsuki, who did not look remotely close to happy.

“You look nothing like your father,” Shizuru noted. He had mousy brown hair and a severe, long face. Hard brown eyes stared off into the distance, as if he did not know his own child was standing next to him.

“Thank God for small favors. I don’t even remember him much from back then. It might be because of the memory gaps I have from the accident, but I don’t think so. My mom didn’t have a lot of pictures of him from what I could tell, but then again, I didn’t get to clean out the house on my own. My dad might’ve thrown a lot of stuff out. Not that it matters, he has his new family now,” Natsuki stated, dismissing the idea of her father with a wave.

“New family?” Shizuru’s face changed ever so slightly with barely visible worry lines creasing the space between her eyebrows.

“Yes, his wife, her eldest daughter by another man, then my little sister Alyssa, and a baby on the way. By the way, Alyssa is my little sister because she’s his daughter, too, but my mother didn’t give birth to her. His wife did. Not that it matters, anyway. My dad treats me like I’m some burden to him.”

“Never say that, Natsuki! You are not a burden!” Shizuru declared with more passion than she had ever shown in her life and she clutched Natsuki tighter in their embrace. “You’re not a burden,” she repeated in a hushed tone. “Not a burden.” She kissed the top of the biker’s head.

Natsuki only smiled. Again, she felt warm, safe, and like she was where she was supposed to be. It had been so long since she had felt anything near those emotions. Shizuru was an extremely wonderful person to bring her out of the dark and the cold. She had never felt all the things that Shizuru caused her to feel and some of the sensations she could not even name. She could not say the words yet, but she hoped that her hug got the message across.

-8-8-8-8-

Next time: Shizuru and Natsuki learn more about each other and Natsuki’s father make things a bit difficult for Natsuki.


	5. Revenant

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t own these characters. I also don’t own the Science Channel or the show “How It’s Made.”
> 
> A/N: this is an AU ShizNat story based on a manga called [Pieta](http://dynasty-scans.com/series/pieta). I recommend it to anyone who likes manga.

5: Revenant 

Time moved forward as it had a habit of doing and Natsuki and Shizuru kept up their habit of spending the week together. It seemed perfectly natural to them, which Shizuru considered odd on the very rare occasions that she thought about her new living arrangements. Natsuki never seemed to consider what was going on as anything beyond normal, which was good enough for Shizuru. While logically it certainly had its weird moments, emotionally, psychologically, and even physically, it all felt perfectly right all the time to Shizuru.

There was something about being around Natsuki that made Shizuru feel something that she had never felt before. She welcomed it and she often found herself showing it, even though people probably had no idea they were bathing in its glow. Shizuru did not care as long as Natsuki knew; but, then again, she noted that the biker could often be clueless about such subtle things.

Everything seemed to work out as far as Natsuki was concerned, though. Shizuru’s personality seemed to shine out more when they were in school. Yes, she was friendly and smiled, but it was no longer blank or something that she seemed obligated to do. There was a sincere glint in her eyes whenever she dealt with people. While she did not show the world as much as she showed Natsuki, she seemed more comfortable in her own skin.

“Natsuki, I’ve been thinking about resigning my position as student council president,” Shizuru announced as if that was perfectly normal. Of course, she never would have even had that thought a few months ago. She and Natsuki were sitting on the sofa and Natsuki was very graciously rubbing Shizuru’s feet.

“Really?” Natsuki cocked an eyebrow and looked directly at Shizuru.

Tawny hair swayed slightly as the older girl nodded. “I never really had any desire to do it. I only accepted the position because it was expected of me.”

Natsuki nodded. “Sounds like something you would do.”

“Yes, all of my siblings had been the student council presidents when they went to school also, so I just thought I would carry on the tradition. As if that would make me fit into my family more and it would make my family proud of me,” Shizuru explained.

“Understood.”

“This is something that I do quite often, actually. Often much of my life was lived in a manner where I was trying my best to fit into my family and as if I needed to prove I belonged there, that I was one of them. … It … it almost crushed me.”

Natsuki nodded. “You don’t talk much about it.”

“I’ve been trying my best to get over it. I was seeing a doctor for a long time, for as long as I can remember actually, but I have been making strides, so she released me. I am free to return to her if I ever feel the need,” Shizuru stated.

“Well, she was probably right to release you if you’re thinking about quitting as president. If it’s something you don’t want and you only did it because it was expected and everyone in your family did it. You’re making your own identity, right?”

Shizuru nodded. “I am trying. I never realized that it was so … terrifying.” She released a small, nervous smile.

“You’ll make it. You’re strong,” Natsuki assured her.

“You make me so.”

The biker could only smile. She wanted to give Shizuru the world because it felt like Shizuru did that for her. She was not sure if that was quite the way to put it, but she wanted to do everything in her power to make Shizuru feel special and like she could do anything. She also wanted to do everything to make Shizuru understand that it was perfectly fine for her to be herself. She understood they had a circuitous journey ahead of them, but it was worth for her to see a true light in her companion.

“I wish we could stay like this forever,” Shizuru purred, not used to being touched in such a manner. Natsuki liked treating her to rubdowns, especially her feet and her calves. It was always so wonderful and she was certain that she would get used to it in no time if it continued.

“Well, it’ll give you something to look forward to later on,” Natsuki remarked with a smile.

“How much taunting and begging would it take you to give me another foot massage?”

Natsuki continued to smile. “I think something like that would mean you have to scold me pretty severely again.”

“You know I had forgotten you used this as a diversion because of the mess you made in the bathroom and all of the laundry,” Shizuru commented.

Natsuki flashed the tawny-haired teen a massive grin to remain out of trouble and continue on with her foot massage. She learned quickly what got her out of trouble with Shizuru and massages were always the best line of defense. Shizuru decided to let Natsuki think that she had gotten away with making a mess, which was something that she did often. She could not believe that they had gotten so domestic in such a short amount of time, but she could not recall being happier.

-8-8-8-8-

“Natsuki, we need to hurry and get out of here to get to school on time,” Shizuru called to her roommate.

“I know, I know,” Natsuki replied, hopping out of the bedroom as she tried to put her sock on.

They both put their shoes on, although Natsuki did so as they were walking out the door. They were off on the motorcycle as they traveled, Natsuki thought that she heard a rattling noise. The sound caused a frown to spread across her pale face.

“Hey, Shizuru, did it sound like the bike was making a funny sound to you?” Natsuki asked as they pulled into the school parking lot.

“It all sounds the same to me,” Shizuru answered as she dismounted the motorcycle.

“Some help you are,” Natsuki teasingly scoffed, grabbing their bags. “It sounded like there was a rattle or something. I’m not sure. I’ll check it out later.”

“All right, then let’s get to class. You’ve been maintaining excellent time, so there’s no reason to ruin all of that hard work, Natsuki,” the older teen remarked with a playful smile.

The biker nodded and walked Shizuru to class before going to her own. Shizuru kissed her on the cheek as they parted ways and Natsuki did not think anything of it. Her mind was on her motorcycle until some of her classmates inane whispering began reaching her ears. Someone was going about how she and Shizuru were like an old married couple when they arrived to school. In the same breathe, the person pointed out how weird it was that Shizuru and Natsuki did not hang out much in school, even though they could be seen about town together.

The gossip did not get a reaction out of Natsuki anymore, but the first couple of weeks when it seemed like she and Shizuru were the only things that people could talk about, she had been ready to crack some skulls. Shizuru prevented her from doing so, of course, and eventually she calmed down. Most of the talk was harmless and somewhat accurate.

There was often talk about sightings of the pair at the supermarket, shopping together. Of course, that was completely true. There was talk of them going to the movies, holding hands, which was only true once; they did not spend much time on leisure activities outside. Every now and then, they could be seen at the mall, shopping for clothing together and it was clear that Shizuru was leading a reluctant Natsuki around for new outfits. From those observations and others, gossip had sprang up that they were actually dating, but no one asked them to confirm or deny that.

Nothing really became of all of the talk. Some of Shizuru’s admirers glared at Natsuki from time to time, but one hard look from those tough emerald eyes sent them scurrying away like frightened mice. People did seem to think that Natsuki was worth befriending now and would try to engage her in a conversation, but she was not very good at it and she did not want to try. She only needed Shizuru’s friendship as far as she was concerned.

So, she continued to have no friends at school, even though she was not completely socially isolated like before. Shizuru continued to have as many friends as possible, but she did distance herself from those only trying to be close to her to use her in some manner. She also did not indulge every single person who approached her anymore while Natsuki did not try to kill every single person who approached her anymore. All and all, Natsuki would say that they did not appear so different from when they started off the school year, but they had certainly changed since coming to know each other. She knew that she felt better than she had in almost ten years.

School passed as it normally did. Natsuki decided to check out her motorcycle while she waited for Shizuru. The noise that bothered her that morning persisted.

-8-8-8-8-

Shizuru glanced out of the window, looking down into the parking lot. She could see Natsuki working on her bike while waiting. A small smile settled on Shizuru’s face and she felt the usual peace that she did whenever she laid eyes on Natsuki. It was a wonderful feeling that she wanted to revel in for the rest of her life.

“Are you even paying attention?” Haruka barked, waving in front of Shizuru’s face to get her attention.

Shizuru turned and continued to smile. “Forgive me. Let’s continue with the meeting,” she replied.

Shizuru’s focus was back on the meeting just like that. Not too long ago, it would have been beyond impossible to get Shizuru to do anything more than feign interest in what was going on in a student council meeting. She had a lot of practice in it since the council met daily to discuss various issues. She could go through the motions with the best of them, but lately she began taking the responsibility more seriously and in earnest. It was something more than just her duty as a Fujino. She could feel a purpose in her job now.

Of course, it was hard to tell the difference between focused Shizuru and disinterested Shizuru. Haruka still hollered at her for the usual things, but she suspected that was because that was how Haruka felt useful and she liked to be on top of things. Shizuru accepted that about Haruka a long time ago.

The meeting got underway and Shizuru was out at her usual time. She returned to Natsuki, whose face was smeared with dirt and sweat. The ebony-haired girl scowled, glaring down at her bike.

“Is everything all right?” Shizuru inquired curiously.

“Huh?” Natsuki turned to Shizuru. “Oh, yeah, everything’s fine. Ready to go?”

“Of course.”

They took the ride home with same noise accompanying them. Natsuki was usually very good with her bike, both the upkeep and figuring out what was wrong with it when there was a problem. She could guess what was wrong, but she wanted a closer look.

“Shizuru, you go ahead inside. I want to look at the bike a little more,” Natsuki said as she parked in the lot at her apartment complex.

“Are you sure there is even a problem? I didn’t hear any noise,” Shizuru replied.

Natsuki gave her a lopsided grin that would have been patronizing on anyone else. “I’m sure. Go ahead inside. I’ll be in soon. I think I know what’s wrong.”

“If Natsuki says so. I’ll go prepare us a snack, all right?”

Natsuki nodded and Shizuru gave her a kiss on her smudged cheek before leaving her with her bike. Natsuki was certain that she knew what was wrong, but she double-checked just to make sure. She sucked her teeth when she saw that she was a hundred percent correct with her initial thoughts.

“Shit, I have to call this bastard,” Natsuki sighed and rubbed her forehead with her palm. Taking a deep breath, she reached into her hoodie pocket for her phone. She doubted this would go well, but she needed to give it a try. “Pick up, pick up, pick up,” she chanted with the phone to her ear. Her plea was not answered as her father’s voicemail picked up. “Hey, Dad, it’s me. I need you to call me back as soon as you can. It’s important.”

She did not bother to explain why and disconnected the call as she as she was done with that short message. Sighing, she looked up at her apartment door and thought about Shizuru waiting for her. With that, she decided to leave all her troubles outside. Nothing would ever bother her once she was inside that door as long as Shizuru was always on the other side.

“So, Natsuki, have you figured out what’s wrong?” Shizuru asked as they settled on the couch together. She had put together a light snack of carrot and celery sticks with dressing on the side, not wanting to ruin their appetites for dinner.

“I know what the problem is. I need to fix it soon or we’ll be riding the bus to school,” Natsuki replied. She reached for a carrot stick and made sure to cover it in as much dressing as possible.

“Oh, you can fix it?” Shizuru was not as surprised as she sounded. She had learned that Natsuki could do many things if she put her mind to it, except for cooking anyway. She was especially handy around the apartment whenever something was broken.

“Yeah, I can fix it. I made sure to know that thing inside out when I bought it. I just need the parts.”

Shizuru nodded. “Is there anything I can do?”

“Yeah,” Natsuki said and there was a glint in her eyes.

“What?” Shizuru inquired, even though she had a feeling that she should not ask, but it was rare that the biker caused her any trouble.

“Make me a real snack, woman!”

Shizuru laughed as Natsuki grinned. She decided to indulge Natsuki because she was not sure of herself when Natsuki joked around with her like that as it was a very rare occurrence. The “order” was reassuring, showing just how comfortable Natsuki was with her. Shizuru believed that over time, she would get better at managing Natsuki’s playful side rather than just giving into her. After the “real” snack was made, they had a normal day at home.

It was not until they were about to go to bed that things got a little weird. Natsuki’s phone began ringing, which was odd in and of itself. Neither of them got many calls, but especially late at night. If one of them did, it was usually Shizuru and it was her aunts checking up on her. Doctor Graceburt called Natsuki, but it only happened a couple of times.

“Go ahead to bed. I’ll be there in a second,” Natsuki told the older girl as she picked up her cell phone.

“Is Natsuki certain?” Shizuru inquired with a concerned look in her eyes.

“Yeah, I’ll be right there. This is probably nothing.” Looking at the caller ID and seeing that it was her father, she was not sure what it was.

Shizuru did not dispute that and went to the bedroom. Natsuki sighed and rubbed her head. When the phone rang again, she took a deep breath before answering.

“Hello, Dad,” Natsuki said.

“What’s so important?” he barked.

“Yeah, nice to hear from you, too,” she muttered sarcastically. She had not heard from her father since she asked for an increase in her allowance, which was months ago. She could already guess how he would react to her new request. “My bike needs repairs. I have to buy parts.”

“What does that have to do with me?”

“I need money to buy the parts,” she replied. “Idiot” remained unsaid, but heard in her tone.

He growled, sounding furious and annoyed. “What is with you and money? Don’t you know how money doesn’t grow on trees!”

“I know that you have a big opinion on what I should be able to do with my own funds. The money is there for me to take care of myself and my bike is an extension of myself as it gets me from one place to another. Now, I need money for parts.”

“That money isn’t there for you to buy tinker toys with! The last time I listened to ‘your needs’ you went out and got the stupid motorcycle, which you don’t need. Learn to take the bus,” he huffed.

“You can’t just hoard my trust,” she snarled.

“I’m managing your money for you because you don’t know how to do it. Do you honestly think you would be able to make payments on your bike, get your rent done on time, and have the bills paid when they’d due? You’re just a punk kid. A little brat that your mom spoiled, but I won’t. Well, welcome to the real world where money has value and you’re not going to waste it. Now, go to bed, so you won’t be late for school in the morning.”

He hung up before Natsuki could make a retort. She growled again and squeezed her phone, wishing that she could shatter it. Taking a deep breath, she clutched the phone again and then placed it down on the sofa. She took a few frustrated swings at the air and kicked the side of the couch.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” she snarled under her breath.

Natsuki pulled at her hair for a second and then rubbed her forehead with her palm. She could not recall ever feeling so aggravated with her father as she had the last couple of times she spoke to him. He had taken things beyond her being a burden, but also to her being some kind of fool who did not know about how the world worked or how money was handled. _He thinks I’m stupid! And how dare he fucking insult my mom!_ She took her feelings out on the wall, forgetting that she no longer lived alone. The loud sound echoed through the tiny apartment.

“Natsuki?” Shizuru called.

By the time Natsuki turned to the sound of her name, Shizuru was standing close by. Natsuki opened her mouth to explain, but closed it before any explanations rushed forth. Shizuru did not say anything, just watched Natsuki, and approached her slowly. Natsuki glanced away and gnawed at her lower lip for a second. Shizuru forced out a small smile and took Natsuki’s hand in hers, looking down at torn, red knuckles.

“What happened, Natsuki?” Shizuru asked in a soft tone, gently stroking the younger woman’s hand.

“I … I … I did something stupid …” the biker mumbled. Emerald eyes looked away in shame.

“And why did you do that? What happened?” Shizuru inquired, still staring down at the injured digits.

“I punched the wall …” She sounded like a child admitting to stealing cookies.

“Why?”

“Got pissed.”

“Over what?”

“My dad …” Natsuki mumbled sheepishly.

“Your dad? What happened with your dad?” Shizuru asked and Natsuki shook her head as a response.

Natsuki then rubbed her forehead with her free palm. After spending so much time together, Shizuru knew that Natsuki had many frustrations when it came to her father. It was hard not to notice that the man was almost nonexistent in Natsuki’s life beyond paying the bills of things that came from her living on her own. Shizuru never said anything, but it bothered her that Natsuki’s father did not seem to care or mind that his daughter was away from home. It gave her new insight and appreciation to her own parents. Shaking those thoughts away, Shizuru caressed the pale woman’s cheek.

“It’s okay, it’s okay. Let me clean up your hand, all right?” the tawny-haired teen requested in a gentle and sweet tone.

Natsuki nodded and they quietly retreated to the bathroom. Shizuru cleaned the wounds without even a wince from Natsuki. When she was all done, she patted Natsuki’s hand and then pulled her toward the bedroom. As they settled onto their sides and cuddled into each other, Natsuki wrapped her arms around Shizuru and breathed a sigh of relief.

“I need money for parts on my bike …” Natsuki said in a low voice, resting her head on Shizuru’s shoulder. Instantly, Shizuru’s hand went to her hair and she tenderly stroked the soft, inky mane.

“Oh, the motorcycle is broken?” Shizuru asked. She knew that there was something wrong with it due to Natsuki’s attention, but she thought it would be a problem that Natsuki could fix with no trouble.

“Not broken, but it does require fixing or it’ll probably stall out on us eventually. And by eventually, I mean soon. So, I called my dad because I need money to buy the parts. Well, he wasn’t quite as forthcoming as I had hoped.”

“How so?”

“He turned me down, just like he always does. He says I get too much money as it, but the thing about is, it’s my money. My mom left me her insurance when she died and she already had been pouring money into a trust for me. He controls the trust for me until I’m eighteen,” Natsuki reported, grunting at the end. Her birthday was months away, but honestly it felt like years.

“So, Natsuki’s father is being uptight with Natsuki’s money?” Shizuru asked.

“Yeah, which he always is. He always makes it sound like I’m stupid and don’t know what to do with my own money. He always makes it out like I’m being a burden to him, but all I’m doing is asking for money that’s rightfully mine, anyway. I’m not even wasting it. I ask for it when I really need something. He’s always screaming about my rent and bills and everything.”

“Well, I’m sure that it’s not cheap and I’m sure it’s not easy for a father to be away from his daughter,” Shizuru tried to soothe her.

Natsuki scoffed and rolled her eyes. “He and his wife sent me here.”

“Sent you here? What do you mean? Why would they do that?” Shizuru inquired and she turned to face Natsuki.

The ebony-haired teen took a deep breath. “I don’t want to say anything to scare you away.” Natsuki would not be able to take losing the most important person in her life for a second time.

“Natsuki, there is nothing that you could say to scare me away. I’ve been living with you all this time and I trust you more than I have trusted any other person. I would not be able to bear being away from you, so there is no way in the world that I would ever leave you voluntarily. Now, tell me what is causing you distress. I would like to endure this trouble with you. I want to carry things with you and make them lighter for both of us,” Shizuru whispered. She then leaned in and kissed the end of Natsuki’s nose.

The biker chuckled. “You make a convincing argument,” she commented, _especially with that little kiss_.

“Then tell me what you mean,” Shizuru requested as she moved closer to Natsuki, putting one of her legs over both of the biker’s creamy thighs. _Natsuki looks so hard all the time, but really is so incredibly soft. I could wrap myself up in her and never leave_.

“I used to be a … hospital. I … Well, I used to hurt myself really bad after my mom died. Way worse than punching a wall, too. I couldn’t sleep. I had the nightmares all the time and swear I was freezing cold no matter how many blankets I had wrapped around me. Whenever it was dark, I’d freak out. So, I was living with my dad and his wife, who hates me tons by the way, and I did something stupid. I mean, real stupid.”

“What did Natsuki do?”

“I … My dad kept guns in the house …” Natsuki’s breathing picked up and she held onto Shizuru tighter. The older teen was glad for the contact because she could guess where the story was going.

“Natsuki …” The name was whispered with concern, but also reverence as Shizuru tenderly caressed Natsuki’s arm, letting the biker know that she was still there and letting herself know that the younger girl was there.

“I just kept having those nightmares and they wouldn’t let me keep the lights on at night. I used to be so scared of the dark. They took away my blankets, saying I was wasting them, even though I’d get so cold. Sometimes, I’d be up days, shivering and cowering, feeling sick to my stomach.

“Anyway, I was sick of it. I was so sick of it. I was sick of being alive, I was sick of _her_ being gone, and I just wanted it to be over. I got a gun, but then Alyssa came into the room and she wouldn’t leave. I couldn’t do it in front of her. What kinda big sister would do something that shitty, right? I couldn’t leave her with that fucked up image. I couldn’t let her get as messed up in the head as I was.

“I tried to get her out of the room, but she wouldn’t leave. Why the hell wouldn’t she leave? I mean, when someone has a gun in their hand, you don’t stick around to chat. I don’t give a damn if you are only three. But, she just kept trying to talk to me and asking me stupid shit, like how my day was and if I wanted to share cookies with her. I think she was the only one in the house that actually liked me …” Natsuki paused to suck up any tears that dared try to fall. “I couldn’t do it in front of her, so I pushed her pretty hard to get her out of the room, but then she started crying. Crying so loud that my dad and her mom heard and when they came in, her mom accused me of trying to kill Alyssa. But, I would never …” Natsuki inhaled and the exhale came out as a sob.

Shizuru reached over and traced her fingers around the small of Natsuki back. “Shh … I know you would never harm your little sister.”

“I wouldn’t, but his wife wouldn’t believe it and he went along with her. He looked at me as if I was lower than dirt right along with her. They dumped me in a so-called mental institution and I think they were trying to keep me there forever. It was the worst few months of my life.”

“Worst?” That struck Shizuru as odd. Natsuki was a girl that had been in a horrible car accident and witnessed her mother die in front of her. Shizuru doubted that she could fathom how abhorrent the hospital had to have been for that to be worst for Natsuki than seeing her own mother die.

“There were no doctors, no talking, no anything. They pushed food in through a small slot in the door like a jail. There was a tiny window, but no light ever came through it. Shizuru, I was left in a cell. It was so … dark and cold …” Natsuki clutched onto her bedmate like a scared child and tears began flowing down her face. “I was so alone and it was dark and cold. I thought I was dead and it was a grave. It was like … like being in the water with my mom … but, my mom wasn’t there and I was so alone. It was so cold, so dark … No one ever came … It was just always dark and cold and alone …”

“Shh … it’s not cold or dark here, Natsuki. And you are not alone. I will always be here for you. Always,” Shizuru vowed. In her heart, she was certain that she would keep that promise until her dying day, maybe even beyond that. In the back of her mind, she wondered what type of person left a traumatized child in her own little version of Hell for months.

Natsuki sniffled and reached up to wipe her face. “Thank you …”

Shizuru shook her head and kissed her companion’s cheek. “No, Natsuki, thank you for being here for me and making my existence so much more pleasing. You gave me life when I was a mere phantom, shifting into a form to please others. Thank you for seeing through my façade, for reaching out to me, and for inviting me into your life. You saved me from myself, from allowing my true self to be consumed by the façade. You saved me. You are truly wonderful and your mother would be proud.”

“I didn’t …” Natsuki began to protest.

“No, you did. I was nothing before you and you have turned me into something. You have turned me into _me_. I thank you for that. I believe in myself because of you. You are an incredible person and your ability to survive is only part of that. You also have the ability to save, to love, to reach out, and to continue on. Thank you for being so incredible. Again, your mother would be so very proud of you.”

Natsuki could only smile and Shizuru gave her another gentle, reassuring kiss on the end of her nose. She fell asleep seconds later, having never explained her money issue like she wanted to. It did not seem to matter.

“I will always be here with you, Natsuki. I couldn’t leave you, ever. I need you as much as you need me and I like having you around. I like being with you,” Shizuru whispered and gave Natsuki a kiss on the side of her head. She made sure to hold Natsuki close; she would never let go.

-8-8-8-8-

Next time: Natsuki has a bad day and we get to meet Shizuru’s parents.


	6. Possessed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t own these characters.
> 
>  
> 
> A/N: this is an AU ShizNat story based on a manga called [Pieta](http://dynasty-scans.com/series/pieta). I recommend it to anyone who likes manga.
> 
>  

6: Possessed

Shizuru was surprised by the peaceful sleep she and Natsuki were afforded after such an emotional night for her bedmate. There was no thrashing during the night, calling out, cold sweats, or distressed mumbling. It was actually much better than the first couple of times she and Natsuki shared the bed.

“I’m glad that I can be helpful to Natsuki,” Shizuru whispered, contently stroking Natsuki’s hair as she slept.

The biker cooed softly in her sleep and caused Shizuru to smile. Taking a deep breath, Shizuru settled into Natsuki’s body once more. Natsuki responded by doing the same and pulling Shizuru as closely as possible. The biker clutched Shizuru around the waist with her fingertips dancing dangerously close to the curve of the older woman’s ass.

“You feel good,” Natsuki muttered, seemingly speaking in her sleep. Her hands pressed against the ruby-eyed woman a little more before going lax against Shizuru’s body.

Shizuru chuckled. “Natsuki feels the same.”

“I like when you say my name, too. It makes me feel good.” The biker placed a chaste kiss to her guest’s cloth-covered shoulder. Shizuru wondered if it was a conscious or subconscious act since Natsuki was not usually so physically affectionate. Either way, it made Shizuru feel a surge of several emotions; surprising to her, one of those emotions was confidence. Natsuki made her feel both secure and self-assured.

“I’m guessing Natsuki is awake now,” Shizuru commented.

“I am awake. Have I told you how much I like waking up in your arms?” The pale teen smiled a little and she nuzzled her bedmate. Inhaling, she took in the soothing scent of Shizuru and felt an unbelievable peace overcoming her.

The older girl smiled again. “I like that, too.”

“Do we have time to stay like this for a little while?” Natsuki asked, snuggling into her friend.

A content purr sneaked out of Shizuru’s throat. “We do. It’s Saturday and it’s early.”

“It’s Saturday? Damn, I have therapy,” Natsuki groaned.

“Is that where Natsuki goes on Saturdays?” Shizuru asked curiously, petting soft, luxurious onyx locks.

Natsuki blushed a little. “Uh … yeah, I go to therapy on weekends.”

“It’s all right. You know … I used to be in therapy,” the older woman confessed in a low tone.

Natsuki looked up in complete surprise. If her eyes got any wider, Shizuru thought they would fall out of her skull. “You? You were in therapy?” the biker inquired, disbelief lacing her tone.

Shizuru smiled softly. “Bless your heart, Natsuki. Yes, I was once in therapy. I told you I had seen a doctor for much of my life.”

The pale face scrunched up. “Yeah, but you know, I didn’t think therapy for some reason,” she admitted with an embarrassed blush.

“Don’t act so shocked. You, of all people, know I am not what I present to the world.”

“Well … that’s true,” Natsuki concurred. She just did not want to say that out loud to her only friend.

Shizuru did not even think twice about confessing. It just spilled from her lips. “I was once in therapy. I told you already that I was seeing a doctor for almost as long as I could remember. I even had to miss school because of it a few years ago, but I was able to make it up. I told you that it was only recently that my therapist noticed I was making very good strides and thought that I might function better without looming appointments and constant talks over the same things. I came to understand my problems, but I am still working to overcome them. In fact, you’re helping me overcome them.”

Natsuki blinked several times before she found her voice. “I am?” her voice sounded so hopeful and bordered on childish. It made her bedmate hug her just a little tighter.

“You are,” Shizuru promised with a smile. “In fact, I will show you exactly how you are doing that. Would you come by my aunts’ house and meet my family today?” She was surprised by the fact that she did not feel any anxiety at all while making that proposal. _Natsuki has made me so strong in these months. I need her to see that, to know what she has done to me, for me_.

Emerald eyes widened momentarily and Natsuki gulped. Her voice cracked when she replied. “Meet your family?”

“Yes, meet my family. They would love you and I think you would like them,” Shizuru stated. Without thinking, she stroked her partner’s ebony mane more, which made the biker relax somewhat.

“You think so?” Natsuki asked with a craned eyebrow.

There was a brief nod. “I think so. Will you meet them?” Hope shined in those ruby-colored eyes.

Natsuki sighed and was silent briefly. “I don’t got anything better to do on a Saturday after I see my therapist.”

Shizuru chuckled and they settled into each other again. They sighed and just felt at peace with each other. It was like everything would be okay.

-8-8-8-8-

“So, anything on your mind today?” Maria asked Natsuki as they settled into their places in the therapist’s office.

Natsuki sighed and twiddled her thumbs a little. She was tempted to bring up Shizuru and the thought of meeting her family, which was completely terrifying, but she was not sure how to do that with looking utterly crazy. Yes, she knew that Maria would not judge her and everything, but she did not want to come across as a maniac in all facets of life. After all, she was already “the crazy one” in the family.

“Do you think it’s wrong to suspect that my dad is stealing from me?” Natsuki decided to ask. It was something that was bugging her for a while and she would like a second opinion, even if Maria would not really give her one. Doctor Graceburt rarely gave an opinion on things that Natsuki really wanted, anyway.

“Why do you suspect him of stealing from you?” Maria inquired in a neutral tone.

“Every time I ask for something, he always yells at me about how tight money is and everything, but for some reason he can afford to send not one, but two daughters to my school, which need I remind you, he couldn’t do for me because money was so tight.”

“You make a sound argument, but you got into your school on a scholarship. Perhaps they did, too. You said Alyssa supposedly sings well, correct?”

“I suppose they could have gotten scholarships. Alyssa is really good. She sang for me once … when I was in the hospital …” Natsuki glanced off and blushed. “I think that’s my only good memory from there …”

“Your little sister adores you. I think you know that.”

Natsuki nodded. She did know that. In fact, there were few things in life that she could totally believe – Alyssa having a true sisterly affection for her was one of those things. She was not sure why the little blond girl was so fond of her, but it was something that made them both happy. Unfortunately, it was also something that made them both miserable.

“I should talk to her, shouldn’t I?” Natsuki asked, but it was really more like an obvious decision. So much time had passed and she was not content to watch from a distance anymore.

“If you have the opportunity and desire, I don’t see why you shouldn’t,” Maria concurred.

“I could do it at school. I mean, Miyu can’t be around her forever and even if she does tell her mom, so what? I don’t live in the house anymore. But, then again, she could always tell my dad. You know she was the one that talked my dad to put me in the hospital, right?”

Maria nodded. “You’ve said as much.”

“I guess she could do something if I talked to Alyssa. Plus, I don’t want her to convince Alyssa to stay away from me. Or what if she convinced my dad I was trying to hurt Alyssa again and they sent me back to the hospital? I can’t go back there! Shizuru promised I wouldn’t have to go back!” Natsuki said, obviously talking more to herself than to her doctor. She was working herself up, letting her brain get ahead of the situation, but the doctor was about to stop her in her tracks.

“Shizuru?” Maria asked with an arched eyebrow. She was used to Natsuki’s panic and very real fear of going back to that so-called hospital. She and Natsuki both knew it was a possibility. One day Natsuki’s father and step-mother could decide on a whim to have Natsuki committed again – even with little evidence that Natsuki needed hospitalizing – because the parents seemed to like questionable facilities. She knew that the last place they left Natsuki to rot in had almost broken the then fragile child, who only proved to be much more resilient than anyone gave her credit for.

“Yes, Shizuru,” Natsuki confirmed. The name seemed to shock her out of her panic and she smiled at the mere mention of her roommate. “My friend.”

“Your friend?” That curious eyebrow remained cocked.

“Yes, my friend. Actually, I’m going to meet her family today.” The statement was made with confidence and Natsuki held her chin up high.

Maria thankfully had a lot of training with keeping a straight face, but the small tick of her upper lip let Natsuki know that the grey-haired woman was beyond shocked. Natsuki chuckled a little and smiled at her doctor. Maria smiled too, knowing that she had been busted.

“Do you want to talk about that a little? How do you feel about meeting your friend’s family?” Maria asked.

“Well, nervous for one. I don’t want to embarrass her in front her family. I mean, she’s been so good to me. I don’t want to screw it up or something,” Natsuki answered honestly.

“And for two?”

A pale forehead creased. “Excuse me?”

“You said ‘for one’ implying that there were other feelings. Am I wrong?” Maria inquired with a teasing smirk.

Natsuki snorted, pretending to be upset with the therapist. “Nosy old bat,” she grumbled. “I think I feel a little bad. I don’t have a family to share with Shizuru. With me, it’s just me.” Natsuki shrugged. “I feel … I dunno … poorer for it. Like I’m gypping Shizuru or something … I’m not good with explaining stuff, but you know that.” Her forehead wrinkled more and she rubbed it with her palm.

“You know you always do fine with me,” Maria assured her. Of course, she had years of training with Natsuki to understand how the biker communicated. It was more about what she did not say and her facial expressions.

“Anyway, she’s giving me something I can’t give her, even though I’m not sure her family is much better than mine. It seems a little miserable, anyway. I mean, she lived with her aunts, but I think her parents are still alive and she’s got four grown siblings. Why live with her aunts, then?”

Maria clicked her tongue at Natsuki and shook her head. “You should know better than to judge. Does Shizuru judge you?”

Natsuki blushed and looked properly chastised. Emerald eyes drifted down to her feet and stayed there for a moment. “No …”

“Then you shouldn’t be making judgments on her or her family. See for yourself and try to understand her as she does you. Enjoy the experience as best you can.”

Natsuki nodded. “I can do that.”

“And don’t be nervous. Shizuru likes you, correct?”

“I like to think she does.”

“I’m sure she does. Then trust her. She thinks that you’re important enough to introduce to her family, but she also thinks that her family is good enough to meet you.”

Natsuki looked up at the doctor and smiled. “I didn’t think about it like that.”

“Well, think about it that way from now on.”

Natsuki nodded in a manner that said “yes ma’am” and the session continued on. By the time the session was done, Natsuki had gotten over her nervousness. She was ready to face Shizuru and her family. She felt ready to face the world and then reality sucker-punched her when she got outside.

“Hey, what’re you doing with my bike?” Natsuki screamed as she noticed two men carrying her motorcycle onto a pickup truck. “Are you stealing my bike?” she hollered, charging the men like an angry bull.

One of the men turned to her. “Stealing? Hell, no! Don’t you see the side of the damn truck?” He then pointed to the side of the white vehicle that declared them to be the “repo bros.”

“Repo? You’re repo-ing my bike?” Natsuki shouted, pulling at her hair. “You can’t repo my bike!”

“We can when the payments aren’t made on it,” he informed her.

“The payments? But, my dad makes the payments!” Natsuki replied and if she were in her right frame of mind it would all make sense to her. Unfortunately, all she could think about was that she was going to lose the only object in life she ever wanted and had gotten her through some very dark days.

“Obviously he doesn’t or it wouldn’t be getting repo’ed now, would it?” he asked in a smart-ass, sarcastic tone that Natsuki could not stand.

Her fist was flying before she knew it, but she shocked herself and the poor bastard that did not even have time to react. She stopped her hand just a breath away from the moron’s nose. Letting loose a loud sigh that almost sounded like it was an explosion, she released her fist and relaxed her arm.

“Not your fault. My dad’s an asshole,” Natsuki sighed again.

The man softened visibly. “It is a sweet ride. Your dad has to be something to miss the payments on this. Sorry, kid.” He then handed her all of the necessary paperwork in regards to her bike.

Natsuki shook her head again. “Don’t be. Again, it’s not your fault.”

She then surprised herself again by just walking away. She could not believe that her father would stop making the payments on her bike. She could not believe she was stupid enough to believe that he was making payments! Marching up to the nearest building, she wailed on it with her hand and the pain shocked her out of her anger.

“Shit!” Natsuki hissed. “Fuck, what am I going to tell Shizuru if she seems my hand?” A light bulb then went off in her head. “Shit, how am I going to get to Shizuru’s aunts’ place in time?” She pulled out her cell phone and dialed her friend. “Hey, Shizuru.”

“Natsuki, hello.  Are you on your way?” Shizuru inquired with polite curiosity.

“Uh … It might take a while.”

“Something wrong?”

“My bike just got repossessed. Apparently my dad hasn’t made any payments on it in …” Natsuki paused to read through the paperwork to see how many payments her father missed, but then decided it did not even matter. “How could he be such an asshole! He knows the only thing that gives my life meaning is the damned bike! That bike helped save my life! It’s like he doesn’t care! He doesn’t give a damn about me!” Hot, frustrated tears welled up into emerald eyes.

“Natsuki, calm down,” Shizuru implored her.

“Why would he do that? Doctor Graceburt told him when I got the bike that it was good for me! It was good for my mental health! What the hell is he trying to do? What? WHAT!” she screamed as tears burned down her cheeks.

“Natsuki, please, just calm down. Please,” Shizuru begged, her own voice sounding tearful.

The sound of Shizuru’s voice pleading with her brought Natsuki back down to Earth. “Hey, I don’t want you sounding like that,” she quietly cooed. She sniffled in an effort to get herself together. “I don’t want you to cry …”

“Natsuki sounded so distressed …”

“I’m sorry I scared you …” Natsuki’s voice was small and contrite.

“I’ll forgive you if you get here as soon as possible and explain yourself,” Shizuru replied, trying to sound upbeat.

“I just have to find a bus …” Natsuki scanned the area. There was no bus stop in sight.

“If you tell me where you are, I can ride with one of my aunts to come and get you.”

“No, no, no. I can find my way. I still have the address. Taking the bus will give me some time to clear my head.”

“All right, Natsuki.”

“See you in a few.”

“All right, Natsuki. Just remember, I’m here for you, always.”

“I know. That means the world to me, Shizuru. Thank you.” The call ended with Natsuki disconnecting. “Now, where the fuck is a bus?” she huffed.

-8-8-8-8-

Shizuru sighed and put her cellphone down. For a moment, she did not know what to do with herself. Her eyes looked everywhere around the living room, but focused on nothing. She did not even realize when her aunt sat down next to her.

“Shizuru-chan, are you all right?” Anh inquired, putting her hand on Shizuru’s knee.

“I’m fine. I’m worried about Natsuki,” Shizuru confessed with a sigh.

Anh cocked her head to the side, something like a curious puppy. It was a gesture that Shizuru had picked up from her aunt and she often used with Natsuki. Anh used it on most and Shizuru used to do the same, but she figured it was so effective that she saved it for someone special.

“What is there to worry about? Is she not coming? I was so looking forward to meeting her,” Anh commented with a sorrowful smile.

“She will be here. She’s just going through some matters right now,” Shizuru replied, forcing out a smile. She knew it did not reach her eyes, but she wanted to set her aunt at ease. From the troubled look on Anh’s face, she was all too aware that she failed.

“Anything that we can do to help?” Anh asked as she patted Shizuru on the knee.

“I doubt we can do anything about it until she shows up and I get the full story,” the younger woman explained.

“All right, then. I still look forward to meeting the young lady who has stolen my lovely niece from the house,” Anh remarked.

Shizuru smiled and the expression was actually shy. Anh chuckled and ducked her head to get a better look at the smile. Anh reached out and turned Shizuru’s head toward her with a gentle caress to her cheek.

“I need her and she needs me,” Shizuru said.

Anh smiled and her niece knew it was because Anh did not know what else to do. Shizuru wished that she could explain what she meant, but she felt like it would take months or she would not be make any sense at all.

“She’s special to you, correct?” Anh asked.

“Very,” Shizuru confirmed.

“Then perhaps you should include your parents in this meeting. It would mean a lot to them if they were included.”

Shizuru took a deep breath and her eyebrows curled up. “How do you think they’ll react?”

“Shizuru, sweetheart, they’re your parents and you know they love you. They want to be involved in your life and I know you want them to be involved. Do you feel anxiety over this?” Anh asked, caressing her niece again.

“Some.” Shizuru swallowed. “But, I think you’re right. I should invite them and open up to them. There’s no reason to feel this way, I know. I think it’s just the idea of them arriving that gives me the anxiety. I know when they arrive, things will be fine. I even want to see them. I would love for them to meet Natsuki. I shouldn’t still feel so anxious over it …” She sighed and buried her head in her hands.

“Oh, sweetie, you’re doing fine. You have to take it slowly. Remember, there once was a time when you wouldn’t have even been able to consider inviting your parents? There was even a time when mentioning your parents would cause you to hyperventilate. Now, look at you,” Anh said with a smile.

Shizuru chuckled. “Yes, look at me, still feeling nervous over just seeing my parents.”

“I don’t think that’s it. I think what you’re feeling right now is actually normal. Natsuki means a lot to you and you want us all to like her as much as you do, correct?”

Shizuru smiled. “You will like her.”

“But, there’s still a part of you that instead of feeling certainty, you feel hope. The hope is what’s giving you the anxiety. That’s normal. Do you have any idea how nervous I was when I brought Laula home?”

“You were nervous?” Shizuru had a hard time believing anyone in the Fujino family could be nervous. Her father, aunt, and all of her siblings acted like the most confident beings on the planet. She had learned to mimic them well in the face of others.

Anh laughed. “Of course I was nervous! I had to bring that barbarian to meet my overly sophisticated parents and grandparents. If you think she’s bad now, you should’ve seen her twenty years ago. It was awful!”

“Stop lying!” Laula barked from her office down the hall.

“Do you see this? Shouting through the house? Total barbarian,” Anh giggled.

“Natsuki reminds me a little of Aunt Laula,” Shizuru realized.

“Really? Get out while you can,” Anh joked, but the small, infatuated smile on her face belied her true emotions. “How does Natsuki remind you of your aunt Laula?”

“I don’t know. There’s just something about her and Aunt Laula, like they keep people at a distance in a stoic sort of way. She likes to be left alone more often than not, like Aunt Laula. She curls onto the couch with her feet under her to watch her shows, just like Aunt Laula does after a hard day.”

Anh nodded. “She should fit in fine then. So, shall we invite your parents?”

Shizuru sighed, but she nodded in agreement. Part of her was actually excited about her parents meeting Natsuki, which was something new. Usually, she only felt anxiety in some form when it came to her parents. She wondered if the excitement was normal as she reached for the phone.

“Hello, Okaasan?” Shizuru said when her mother finally answered. It seemed like it took forever, even though it was just a couple of rings.

“Shizuru, so lovely to hear from you,” her mother replied brightly.

Shizuru smiled shyly. “You just spoke to me two days ago, Okaasan.”

“A mother always loves to hear from her child.”

Shizuru had to swallow. Her typical uncomfortable feelings when her parents were involved crept out, but something mixed in with them and tried to beat them down. It was almost like a feeling of joy had come into the mix. She was joyful that her mother liked hearing from her and wanted to be involved in her life.

“Auntie Anh and I were wondering you and Otousan would come over. I would like you to meet a friend of mine,” Shizuru explained, surprising herself by not stammering over such long sentences.

There was no initial verbal response because her mother was too busy inhaling sharply. “Are you sure?” she asked in a low voice.

“I would be delighted if you showed up.”

“Tell her we’ll get our husbands to grill! It’ll be a fun day,” Anh declared with a grin.

“Did you hear her, Okaasan?” Shizuru asked.

“Of course, I did. I look forward to it.”

“Come over as soon as you can.”

They said their farewells and her parents arrived fairly quickly to the house. Shizuru decided to answer the door, greeting her parents head on. Taking a deep breath, she grinned as she faced them.

“Shizuru,” her father said in a calm, slightly confused tone. Like all of her other siblings, Shizuru took after her father in coloring, skin, hair, and eyes. He was tall and poised with a strong jaw and oozed confidence through his pores. These were just Fujino traits, she knew; they had to be since Anh had them too.

“Otousan,” Shizuru replied. She and her father stood there awkwardly. They were never quite sure what to do upon greeting each other beyond stating their names. Sometimes, it was clear that he wanted to reach out to her, but feared that she would reject him or that somehow hugging her would harm her.

“You look well, Shizuru,” her mother commented. Shizuru’s mother was somewhat short, but she carried herself like the most elegant giant on the planet. Her pure black hair was cut short and styled back.

“As do you, Okaasan,” Shizuru replied with a small smile and bow. Meeting with her mother was much more awkward than with her father because she did feel the urge to embrace her mother. Her mother felt the urge, too, and it was easily seen in her eyes. Generally, the desire and emotions made Shizuru’s apprehension multiply, but not now. She felt uneasy, but not as much as she had expected.

“Is your friend here already?” her father asked curiously. He peered around her to take a look for himself.

“No, not yet. I fear that Natsuki is lost. She had to take the bus over and she’s not used to public transportation. So, we can talk for a little while,” Shizuru explained.

Her parents nodded in agreed and tried their best not to smile; they failed miserably. They walked with Shizuru to the living room. Anh and Laula were there and greeted their guests. Anh made a show of grabbing her brother into a big hug and he made a show of spinning her around.

“You’re such a clown, Taro,” Anh giggled.

“You started it,” he retorted and then he put her down.

“Before you two start your crazy Fijino-ness, how about we all sit down,” Laula proposed with a grunt.

“Actually, the Fujino-ness will be starting now. We ladies are going to go out shopping and return with food that you husbands will be grilling,” Anh declared, motioning to her brother and her lover.

Laula did not appear surprised, but then again neither did Taro. Anh grabbed her sister-in-law and her niece and whisked them out the door.

“Please, look out for Natsuki,” Shizuru called before Anh yanked the door closed. Laula laughed, but, of course, she would do as Shizuru requested.

-8-8-8-8-

Next time: Natsuki meets Shizuru’s family.


	7. Growth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t own these characters.
> 
>  
> 
> A/N: this is an AU ShizNat story based on a manga called [Pieta](http://dynasty-scans.com/series/pieta). I recommend it to anyone who likes manga.
> 
>  

7: Growth

Natsuki was tired as she dragged her feet to the front door of Shizuru’s aunts’ house. The bus ride was ridiculous, which was mostly due to the fact that she had gotten lost several times. It was so much easier to take the bus when she was younger and when she knew the area that she was traveling to. She did not remember the bus being so hot and crammed full of sweaty misfits that she would rather have stayed twenty feet away from. It did not help matters that her day had sucked in general, but she did not want to think about what she had gone through.

“Gotta stay positive. Meeting Shizuru’s aunts. I don’t want to embarrass her,” Natsuki reminded herself aloud. She took a deep breath, hid her injured hand under her jacket sleeve, and straightened herself out before reaching out and knocking on the door.

“Who?” a gruff, but female voice inquired from within the large house.

“Uh … My name is Natsuki. I’m supposed to meet Shizuru here,” the biker explained, scratching her head.

“Oh, Natsuki, we’ve been expecting you.” The door swung open to revel a dark-skinned woman with light blueish hair. She was dressed in a simple white button-down shirt and black slacks, but something about the clothing just looked expensive. The material and fit screamed “wealth” in capital letters. “I’m Shizuru’s aunt, Laula Bianchi. Shizuru stepped out for a moment with her mother and her aunt Anh.”

“Mother?” Natsuki echoed as her face scrunched up slightly. Shizuru did not mention meeting her parents. She just said her aunts and Natsuki was under the impression that Shizuru did not have a good relationship with her parents.

“Yes. But, please, come in. You must be tired after your ordeal with the bus,” Laula replied and motioned for Natsuki to step inside, which she did.

“Shizuru told you I had to take the bus?” Natsuki asked with a craned eyebrow. She seemed offended by that and she knew it was ridiculous for her to be so. Still, strangers made her tense and the day had left her raw.

“She said you would be late because of it. I’m sure that’s why Anh was able to drag her off with her mother,” Laula said, shutting the door and leading Natsuki to the living room. They did not quite make it as they passed an accent table with several framed pictures on it and Natsuki stopped to look.

“Shizuru didn’t want to go with her mother?” Natsuki asked curiously as she picked up one picture of Shizuru as a teenager. She was giving the camera her patented faux-smile.

Laula shook her head. “No, nothing like that. She would have preferred to be here for you when you showed up. We could have come and picked you up from wherever you were, you know,” she pointed out.

“I know and Shizuru even offered, but I needed to get my head together before I got here. I was really nervous,” Natsuki admitted, figuring that would sound normal. _Hell, it’s not even a lie, really. Just not the full truth_.

“No need to be nervous. We’re not so bad. The Fujinos can be annoying, but you know that from dealing with Shizuru,” Laula commented with an amused smile.

“I don’t have a problem with Shizuru,” Natsuki snapped and she glared at the other woman.

Laula chuckled a bit and held up her hands in surrender. “I didn’t mean anything negative by it. I figured you wouldn’t have a problem with Shizuru since you allowed her to move with you. I’m surprised your parents didn’t have a problem.”

“Something me and Shizuru have in common,” Natsuki grumbled accidentally. She was unable to check her bitterness toward her own so-called guardians at the door as she had planned to. Her father had really gotten to her and she was not sure if anything – beyond him personally getting her bike back – would make things right.

“Has Shizuru told you that her parents don’t have a problem with her living somewhere else?” Laula inquired with an arched eyebrow. She sounded somewhat defensive.

“She doesn’t have to say anything. She’s there, right?” Natsuki countered, continuing to glare.

Laula nodded and folded her arms across her chest. “I see. You’ve assumed that her situation is similar to yours. I assure you that Shizuru’s parents care about where she lives.”

“Oh, yeah? Then why does she live with you and not them?” Natsuki’s expression challenged her hostess. Internally, she knew her attitude was actually for her father, but he was not there at the moment.

Laula took a deep breath. “How much has Shizuru told you about her life?”

Natsuki blinked. “What? Why?”

“Because you’re making wild assumptions about her life. None of which seem accurate. I hope you don’t say any of this to her face. It would hurt her greatly.”

Those words shook Natsuki out of her funk. She realized that she was being rude to Shizuru’s aunt. She was doing exactly what she needed to cool down for to avoid doing – making an ass out of herself.

“Look, forgive me, please,” Natsuki apologized, even bowed. “I’ve had a rough day and I’m taking my anger out on you, which is probably the dumbest thing I’ve done today and considering I’ve punched a wall and got lost on a bus twice that says a lot.”

Laula smiled slightly and patted Natsuki heavily on the shoulder. “Come here, sit with me outside. The fresh air might help set you at ease.”

Natsuki nodded and followed Laula out to the veranda. The day was warm enough to be outside, as long as they stayed in the sun. There were two chairs out there and they sat down. Natsuki looked out into the backyard and almost swallowed her tongue. The space was massive with a little pond surrounded by colored stones that had a bridge going over it and flowers everywhere.

“When did we get into a rainforest?” Natsuki blurted out. She was tempted to go have a closer look, but she was not sure where to even start.

Laula laughed. “I’m surprised your house doesn’t look like this with Miss Shizuru Greenthumb around. She and her aunt Anh used to live back here and bond as they grew all sorts of flowers and arranged pebbles around their masterpiece, as they liked to call it. They say it makes the house look like a home. I don’t get in the way as it keeps them off my back.”

“Oh, then I guess Shizuru will get around to some flowers and stuff eventually. The apartment was pretty bare when she moved in, so for the moment, she’s focused on things like filling the fridge and making sure we have more than one clean plate,” Natsuki remarked.

Laula chuckled and shook her head. “Oh god, you sound just like me. When I met Anh, I didn’t even have an extra fork when she came over to eat.”

“What did you do?”

“Gave her the fork, of course!”

Natsuki laughed. “I gave Shizuru the plate.”

Laula nodded and smiled proudly. “Good girl.”

The biker laughed again. “Can I ask you a question?”

“Shoot.”

“Do Shizuru’s parents live far from here? Is that why she lived here? I mean, my dad lives like two hours from my school. She never really explained to me why she doesn’t live with them. She always sort of brushes over it when she talks about her family, sort of like it’s not really a big deal. So, I figured it was probably something really simple, like her parents live far away from our school or something.”

“No, it’s nothing like that. Actually her parents live about ten minutes from here.”

“Then why …?” Natsuki’s brow wrinkled.

“Shizuru … was a strange child, let’s say. Her parents didn’t force her to live with us or anything because they couldn’t handle her. They love her, her siblings love her, and she adores all of them, but that’s actually the problem.”

“Huh?” Natsuki could not be more confused if she tried. In her mind, she imagined herself banging her head against a desk.

Laula regarded the teen with a sidelong glance. “She really hasn’t explained this to you?”

Natsuki shook her head. “I think she’s tried before, but she stops like she feels I’m not going to believe her or she’s helping me get through something, so she never makes it all the way through.”

“She feels like her issues are so utterly bizarre that she thinks most people won’t understand.”

Natsuki’s forehead wrinkled again. “But, I do understand her. She knows that. Maybe she doesn’t think it’s important. I mean, she tells me other stuff. How is it an issue that everybody in the family loves her?”

“Shizuru is the baby of a very close and loving family. Her older siblings doted on her and so did her parents. In the environment that her older siblings soared, Shizuru actually felt crushed and suffocated. She felt like she needed to prove herself every second of every minute of every day. Every time they praised her, she felt like she needed to do more and more. She burnt herself out by the time she was nine. She was hospitalized for exhaustion and chronic fatigue. It was then that she told her parents that she had this huge fear of disappointing them and not living up to the examples of her brothers and sister. She kept pushing herself because she didn’t want to disappoint them. It was so pitiful; they were in tears. She was in tears. They didn’t know what to do because even after talking it out and assuring her that things were fine, she continued on just as she was before she got out of the hospital.”

Natsuki nodded. “So, they put her in therapy?” she guessed.

Laula’s eyes widened. “She told you?”

“Yes, she told me about that. Like I said, I think she was trying to explain this stuff to me a few times, but I was going through my own stuff and she ended up trying to help me through my mess. My father seems to be having a grand time ruining my life and she always tries to help me get over him,” Natsuki sighed. “He’s the reason I came over here with a chip on my shoulder …”

“What did he do?”

“My motorcycle. He stopped making the payments on it and it got repo’ed today,” Natsuki sighed again and rubbed her forehead.

“Damn, that sucks. Shizuru told me about your motorcycle. It sounded like it was a nice ride. Why do you wait around for him to make the payments, though?” Laula asked.

Natsuki was silent briefly, not sure of how much she wanted to reveal to the stranger. But, then again, the stranger was Shizuru’s aunt. The woman had just entrusted her with vital and very personal information about Shizuru. Not to mention, she did not want to be any ruder than she had already been, so that made her decision easy.

“It’s complicated, but the short end of it is that my dad is in charge of a trust fund for me until I’m eighteen. For a while, he was good with paying my bills and stuff. Or at least he seemed like he was good with paying them. He was tight with the money, especially in giving me an allowance, but I didn’t really need it for anything. Like I said, before Shizuru, I had one plate. Lately, though, he’s been … I dunno … frustrating …” Natsuki sighed again and focused off in the distance. _I’m getting screwed_ , she knew that much. “He doesn’t want to give me money for anything really, claims I have no idea how the real world works, and obviously he’s not doing what he claims he is since my bike got taken.”

Laula frowned. “That’s horrible and you can’t even get an after-school job because that’s against Fuuka Academy rules.”

“Yeah,” Natsuki sighed once more and rubbed her forehead again. “So, how about you tell me a little about yourself? I don’t know much about you beyond how much Shizuru likes you and Anh. She’s kinda cautious when she brings up her aunts, though. I mean, she’ll tell me things that she’s done with you both, but doesn’t really tell me about _you_.”

Laula laughed. “I don’t see why. If anyone should understand, it would be you. I’m Shizuru’s aunt through marriage.”

Natsuki nodded. “I figured as much. Who you married to?”

Laula raised an eyebrow. “You’re serious?” she asked and then she burst out laughing when she realized that Natsuki was being serious.

The dark-skinned woman was saved from explaining as Taro stepped outside. He yawned and stretched his arms before turning his attention to the ladies. He smiled and Natsuki recognized the expression in Shizuru whenever she gave a genuine smile.

“You must be Natsuki,” Taro said, leaning down to shake the biker’s hand. “I’m Shizuru’s father.”

“I am, Fujino-san,” Natsuki said, rushing to her feet. She was about to bow to him, but he had already turned away from her.

“Just call me Taro, please,” he said and he directed his attention toward Laula. “Thanks for letting me use your computer.”

“No problem. Always happy to keep your business from imploding,” Laula chuckled and then she noticed that Natsuki was still standing. “Natsuki, sit back down. Taro isn’t going to bite and he damn sure isn’t someone you should stand on ceremony for.”

Natsuki nodded and slid back into her chair. Taro looked down at her and smiled again. They did not get passed introductions before their ladies entered the house with their loot. They were all laughing and smiling; Natsuki smiled when she saw that Shizuru was included. Natsuki climbed to her feet and Shizuru was by her side in what seemed like an instant.

“I’m so glad you made it all right,” Shizuru whispered to Natsuki as they embraced and then she kissed the biker on the cheek.

Natsuki felt a hot flush rush to her face. “Of course I made it all right!” she replied, a little huffier than she meant.

Shizuru only smiled and then made her introductions. Everyone was very nice and polite to Natsuki, even though they looked a bit curious and Natsuki was not sure why. She could see what Laula meant about Shizuru coming from a very loving family, though. She could also see that being around her family made Shizuru just a little tense, but she always seemed to loosen up when Natsuki was by her side. 

It was not long after arriving that Shizuru noticed Natsuki’s hand. The red, angry bruises stood out on her creamy skin. She gently pulled Natsuki aside while the adults begin to set up for the grilling session.

“We should take care of your injuries,” Shizuru informed the younger teen.

“No, it’s all right. The knuckles are just skinned. I don’t think I hit the wall that hard,” Natsuki chuckled. She then leaned her forehead against Shizuru’s. “Sorry I did a dumb thing again. I got caught off-guard with my bike.”

“I’m not going to tell you it’s all right because it’s not. But, we all get angry sometimes. I just wish that Natsuki would let the emotion run its course without injuring herself.”

“It was an impulsive thing to do. But, it was better than me punching the guy taking my bike. So, don’t I get points for that?” Natsuki asked with another laugh.

Shizuru giggled and kissed the end of Natsuki’s nose, which got a smile out of the biker. They then went to rejoin everyone else. If anyone saw what happened, they did not say anything about it and the day went on as planned.

They grilled, they talked, they laughed, and Natsuki actually felt like she belonged. Every Fujino made sure that she was somehow involved in whatever they were doing and made sure that she was having a good time. It was the first time in a long time that she smiled so often without Shizuru being the cause. Whenever there was a lull in the merriment, which was never long, Natsuki thought that she might break down and cry.

At one point, tears did escape her eyes as Shizuru sat down at the piano and played a beautifully haunting melody that Natsuki did not recognize. Thankfully, she was not the only one with tears in her eyes. Shizuru’s mother – Ayumi – openly wept through out the entire piece. It unsettled Shizuru, who almost stopped playing, but was gently urged to continue by everyone.

“Goodness, it’s getting late,” Anh realized as the sun had long ago set. They had even retreated back into the house a couple of hours ago because of the evening chill.

Natsuki glanced over at the clock. “Geez, do the buses and trains run this late?” she groaned. _I should’ve kept better track of time, but at least Shizuru is staying here tonight and she doesn’t have to ride the bus with me_.

“I’m sure they do, but I should hope you don’t think you’ll be getting on one,” Anh commented with a disapproving frown on her face.

“Uh … well, I do gotta get home and I don’t have a bike anymore,” Natsuki pointed out.

“Well, you have two opinions there. One, I can drop you and Shizuru off,” Taro volunteered. Shizuru smiled.

“Or you can spend the night and I’ll drop you both off in the morning,” Laula chimed in. Again, Shizuru smiled.

“I would be able to show Natsuki my room,” Shizuru smiled and she clapped lightly.

That settled it, of course. Natsuki sighed. “I guess we could go home tomorrow …”

Anh burst into giggles and turned to her spouse. “Oh, she is you, my dear.”

Natsuki, of course, did not get the joke, but the others did and laughed over it. Usually, something like that would upset Natsuki, but there was no way that she could be upset when Shizuru was laughing and smiling. So, she just smiled on until Shizuru parents decided it was time for them to leave. Everyone walked to the entryway of the house.

“It was wonderful meeting you, Natsuki,” Taro said, shaking her hand again.

“Please, take good care of my little girl,” Ayumi said with a smile as she also shook Natsuki’s hand.

“I will do my best,” Natsuki promised and instantly felt rotten on the side. She could not believe the ease that she made such a vow when her life was falling apart at the seams. She needed to get herself together and soon or she would make herself out to be a liar. Not to mention, she would fail Shizuru. _No, screw that. That’s not even an option_.

Shizuru’s parents then turned to her and said their farewells. Shizuru smiled demurely and then suddenly embraced her parents, one with each arm. Their eyes went wide and Natsuki knew that she was witnessing something rare, but something very good, even though Ayumi began crying. When Shizuru pulled away, tears slid down her cheeks, too.

“See you soon?” Shizuru asked with a rather undignified sniffle.

“Whenever you want, Shizuru. Whenever you want,” Taro answered while his wife sobbed on his shoulders. Natsuki was not sure what to make of the reactions, except to think that Shizuru and her parents were still mending the relationship that had exhausted Shizuru as a child. Natsuki wondered if things would ever be like that between her and her own father. She doubted it.

-8-8-8-8-

Shizuru was sitting in her bed, waiting for Natsuki to join her and thinking about her farewell to her parents. She could not recall the last time she felt safe enough to hug them, but she had not thought earlier. She just felt. She felt like she was missing their affection and that she was ready for their love. She felt like she had come into her own life and the pressure that she felt lifted. Even the anxiety had vanished and she knew why.

She then thought back to her father offering to take her and Natsuki home at the end of the night if Natsuki truly wanted to leave. She had smiled at the mention of herself in that because she had no desire or inclination of allowing Natsuki to be alone after such an emotional day, even though the weekend was supposed to be her time with her aunts. She was pleased that her family recognized how important they were to each other, even though it was their first time witnessing the teens together. They could all just see that Natsuki made her better.

“Natsuki makes me so comfortable in my own skin that nothing else matters. I know I have nothing to fear from my parents. I know that someone loving you doesn’t mean they expect the world from you and I can honestly believe that now because of her,” Shizuru muttered to the air.

“You say something, Shizuru?” Natsuki asked. She was examining rows of awards that Shizuru had on a dresser and on her walls.

The taller girl ignored the question and deflected with one of her own. “Are you going to come to bed?”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Natsuki answered and finally tore herself away. “I’m surprised you have all this stuff up. It makes you look less modest than you are.”

“I’m modest?”

“Yes, you’re very humble. I bet that people would be shocked to find out that’s one aspect of your personality that is true through and through. Although when you’re acting fake, you give that false smile of yours that makes your modesty seems disingenuous.”

“Such a big word,” Shizuru teased.

“You also can’t take a compliment.”

“You called me fake. This is a compliment from my dear Natsuki?”

Natsuki huffed and flared her nostrils. “That’s not what I meant and you know it.” She turned her attention back to the awards. “Hey, you have one for playing piano. I thought the pieces you played tonight were very nice, even that first one that was kinda creepy and sad. But, you played beautifully.”

“Thank you. I promised my parents I would play for them. They enjoy hearing it.”

The biker nodded and glanced over at Shizuru. “You know, your aunt Laula told me about you and your parents. Well, you and your family, really. I wish you would’ve told me. I would’ve understood and tried to help.”

“I know you would have, Natsuki. You understand me without trying and you have already helped me more than you’ll ever know. It was thanks to you that I was able to play the piano tonight for my parents without collapsing and shivering two minutes into my first piece. It was thanks to you that I was able to give my parents real hugs for the first times in years. You’ve let me know that love doesn’t equal grandiose expectations.”

Natsuki grunted. “I did all that? Doesn’t sound like me. I feel like I mostly just screw up, especially when it comes to you. Is that why you don’t tell me stuff?”

Shizuru shook her head and frowned briefly. “Natsuki.”

“Yeah?”

“Come to bed, please.”

Natsuki nodded and complied. “I’m sorry for being an idiot.”

“You’re not an idiot. Natsuki just doesn’t give herself the credit that she deserves. Honestly, you have helped me more than any other person ever has and probably ever will. I tell you everything, Natsuki. I just didn’t get into details because I wanted to focus on you and you sorely needed the attention. You cannot deny that,” the tawny-haired teen pointed out.

Natsuki sighed in relief and nodded. “I guess I did. I feel bad for not doing the same with you, though.”

“You did do the same, but in a different way. My dearest Natsuki, I tell you all the time how wonderful you are and how much you help me. You always give me the exact attention that I require. You healed me and continue to do so. You saw the evidence of your attention today and how I interacted with my family. I never would have been able to spend the whole day with them smiling and laughing as I did today without you. Please, just accept that.”

The biker nodded again and settled into the firm mattress. “I can’t believe your aunts don’t mind us sharing a bed.”

“They are well aware that we share one at home. They think of us as a married couple, I believe,” Shizuru commented.

“Really? That’s weird,” Natsuki muttered as she snuggled close to the older girl. They wrapped their arms around each other. As soon as Natsuki settled her head on Shizuru’s shoulder, her breathing evened out.

“Yes, it is weird. We are so much more than a married couple and you have never screwed up when it comes to me,” Shizuru replied, even though she knew that Natsuki was asleep. She placed a gentle, loving kiss to a pale forehead before drifting off herself.

Natsuki woke up in the middle of the night. For a brief moment, she could not recall where she was and looked around frantically to get her bearings. The thing that settled her down was seeing Shizuru’s sleeping face. Her movement stirred Shizuru, but she did not open her eyes. She just rubbed Natsuki’s back to calm her down.

“You up?” Natsuki whispered.

“Is there something you need?” Shizuru countered.

“Talk a little. Your family is nice.”

“I know they are. I am … adjusting.”

Natsuki smiled and randomly kissed Shizuru’s shoulder. “I hope one day they don’t make you nervous. You deserve everything that they want to give you.”

Shizuru nodded. Her therapist had told as much some time ago, but coming from Natsuki it was different, more believable. She was not sure if it was because she was more mature now than she had been with her therapist or just because the words came from Natsuki.

“Thank you, Natsuki.”

“No need to thank me. You’re the best person I’ve ever met and you deserve love. It’s good that you accept I’m not the only person that loves you,” the pale teen said. Crimson eyes went wide and she wondered if Natsuki realized what she said.

“I love you, too, Natsuki,” Shizuru whispered.

Natsuki did not respond; she was asleep again. Shizuru smiled and settled back into her space. Sleep easily and quickly overtook her.

-8-8-8-8-

Natsuki and Shizuru smiled as they entered their apartment. Anh and Laula were right behind the teens, having driven the two girls home. Natsuki and Shizuru thought it was only right to show the adults their living space.

“It’s still a work in progress. Shizuru’s fighting an uphill battle,” Natsuki remarked as Shizuru’s aunts looked around.

“It’s cozy,” Anh proclaimed with a smile as she looked around.

The apartment was no longer the barren wasteland that it was when Natsuki lived alone, but there was only so much Shizuru could do. It was much more homey now with pictures on the walls, shelves to hold items that had once been stacked on the coffee table, a plush rug underneath the coffee table, some DVD movies set next to the gaming console, and throw pillows on the couch. Shizuru had mentioned painting one day, which Natsuki would not mind.

“You’re the first guests we’ve had,” Shizuru said.

“You’re kidding? You haven’t had any friends over or something?” Laula asked in disbelief. “If I had my own place in high school …” She noticed Anh glaring at her, so she grinned. “I’d have studied harder,” she lied.

“I’m sure,” Anh remarked, moving to the living room and surveying the area. “Shizuru-chan, where are the flowers?”

“I will get around to them. I still have to find a sofa that wasn’t purchased at a garage sale,” Shizuru quipped, throwing Natsuki a teasing smile.

“That couch is comfortable. We’ve fallen asleep on it enough know that,” Natsuki shot back.

Shizuru rolled her eyes and then noticed her aunts sharing a knowing smile, so she rolled them again. She offered her aunts some tea, which they accepted. Anh and Laula did not stick around very long after that, but they did seem pleased with the apartment and fine with their niece living there. Natsuki sighed and flopped down on the couch as soon as they were gone. Shizuru curled up right next to her.

“Your aunts are cool,” Natsuki said.

“I am lucky to have them. They stepped in when I needed it the most and they’re very encouraging and supportive without making me almost throw up,” Shizuru commented with a small smile.

Natsuki regarded her with a curious face. “Your parents’ support makes you want to throw up?”

“Once upon a time. Not so much anymore. I used to be deathly afraid of disappointing them and my siblings, of not measuring up. I always thought I was a failure, always in their shadows. I always wondered why my brothers and sister grew up so wonderful in the same house that I seemed to die in. I tried surviving by mimicking what I saw and pretending to be happy, but it only killed me faster. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t understand anything …” Shizuru sighed and cuddled closer to the biker. Natsuki wrapped her arms around the tawny-haired woman.

“We’re all different. Besides, you’re doing fine. You’re coming into your own. You’re doing beyond fine,” Natsuki assured her, stroking her arm.

“You are, too, Natsuki. You’re doing beyond fine. Don’t let your father do anything to prevent that or to stifle it,” Shizuru implored her.

Natsuki nodded. “I’ll try …” she promised, but her voice wavered.

Later that night, while she was supposed to be preparing for bed, Natsuki stared at her phone. She still had not spoken to her father about her bike being repossessed. She knew that if she did call him, it would lead to a fight, which would not help anyone. Of course, not calling him would not help her better understand why he had allowed her bike to be taken away … or if he was going to allow other things to be taken away.

“Not that he would tell me what the hell he’s planning. I should just assume he’s going to screw me over,” Natsuki muttered to herself as she paced the living room. Glaring at her phone, she reached out for it, but then pulled it back.

“Natsuki,” Shizuru called from the bedroom. Her voice carried, even though she was not shouting.

“I’m coming!” Natsuki replied, even though she continued to pace. Calling her father would probably just upset her, she realized. It probably would not get her the answers that she needed. He might not even answer. She glared at the phone and grabbed it.

“Natsuki.”

“Coming!” Emerald eyes glanced toward the bedroom and then back to her phone.

“Natsuki.”

The phone landed on the couch and Natsuki retreated to the bedroom. She turned off the lights and crawled in with Shizuru. The bike might be gone, her father might have done it on purpose, he might have even pocketed the money that he claimed was going to make the payments, and he might allow it to happen with something else, but Shizuru was still there. Shizuru was enough.

-8-8-8-8-

Next time: Natsuki hangs with her little sister, who helps her forget her troubles until things get worse.


	8. Smile

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t own these characters.
> 
>  
> 
> A/N: this is an AU ShizNat story based on a manga called [Pieta](http://dynasty-scans.com/series/pieta). I recommend it to anyone who likes manga.

8: Smile

Taking the bus to school was not that bad … although Shizuru had repeated that about thee dozen times, so Natsuki was not sure if she had been brainwashed or if the ride really was all right. The fact that Shizuru held her hand the whole time might have helped, even though she suspected that was as much for Shizuru as it was for her. They went their separate ways at school and Natsuki consciously decided not to mope about her motorcycle. Mostly, she focused on her schoolwork or let her thoughts wander to what she and Shizuru could do in their spare time. It worked out well until she had to wait afterschool for Shizuru. She used to work on her bike while waiting.

“Damn, if only I could get a job. If I could get a job, I would get the bike back and I could have enough money to take care of Shizuru. Dad could shove my trust fund up his ass for all I care …” Natsuki muttered, biting her nail. “Although, Mom is probably cursing me out in the afterlife. She didn’t want Dad to have that money …” Life would have been so much easier if her mother just did not die.

Before Natsuki realized it, her jaw was trembling and tears welled up in her eyes. Just as she was about to grieve for her mother and berate herself for such childish thinking, she heard something, something heavenly. There was singing coming from the school auditorium and it drew Natsuki in like a moth to a flame. Standing in the doorway, she heard divine music coming from a familiar blond girl and she could not stop the tears. And then suddenly blue eyes locked with hers.

The singing instantly ceased and Natsuki felt like her heart stopped beating while her lungs gasped in air as if she was recovering from a near drowning. She retreated to the side of the building and tried to slow her breathing. She wondered why it felt like she had just run a mile. Closing her eyes, she did her best to stop crying. The tears halted on their own as she felt a tiny hand take hold of hers.

“Oneesan,” Alyssa’s voice said, Natsuki knew, and she felt like she might burst into tears again. “Oneesan?” It truly sounded like a cherub was talking to her.

“You sing beautifully,” Natsuki blurted out, along with her final sob. She could not bring herself to look down at the little girl just yet or she was certain that she would begin crying again.

“So beautifully, it makes you cry?” Alyssa did not sound convinced. In fact, her small voice cracked with concern.

Natsuki took a deep breath and then forced out a laugh. “Yeah, so beautiful …” She took another breath and wiped her face. “So, what’re you doing out here, kid?” Her voice almost sounded composed.

“I saw you and … I wanted to see you …” Alyssa explained with a shrug.

Natsuki laughed because it made perfect sense to her. “I’m surprised Miyu let you out here to see me.”

Alyssa shook her head. “Miyu has chess club when I have chorus.”

“Really?” Green eyes finally drifted down to the small blond and her face just lit up when Natsuki looked at her. Natsuki could not help smiling.

“Yeah. Chess club is sometimes longer. Well, a lot of the time longer, so Miyu comes late and I practice more than I need to …” Alyssa said in a suggestive tone.

Natsuki laughed. “Maybe I could stop by again and check you out. We might even be able to talk,” she proposed, knowing that was exactly what Alyssa wanted … and maybe something that they both needed.

Large sapphire eyes shined brighter than the gems they were colored after and the child squeezed Natsuki’s hand. “Great! And, you know, Mom said we’re going to be moving back over here soon. We’ll have a big house. Maybe you could move back in and we could see each other every day and come to school together and hang out,” Alyssa chatted with a hopeful smile.

Natsuki patted her little sister on the head and then realized what she said. “I thought Dad said it was too expensive to live out here.”

Alyssa shrugged. “So?” She squinted her eyes with childish confusion … or just plain confusion on where Natsuki got the idea that the family had financial issues.

 _So much for money problems, but, really, he would want to buy a house out here and that would cost a bundle, plus he has another kid on the way_. Something definitely smelled rotten in the state of Kuga. But, Natsuki was not very comfortable interrogating her little sister about it. She would just have to find some other way to figure out what her father and his wife were doing.

“Shouldn’t you get back to practice? You don’t want them to come looking,” Natsuki said.

“You’re right. You’ll come back, though, right?” The look in her eyes was more than enough to get her older sister to acquiesce.

“Of course I will,” Natsuki promised and she kept that promise. Alyssa was one more bright spot in her slowly darkening world.

-8-8-8-8-

“Shizuru made us sandwiches today,” Natsuki informed Alyssa as they settled into what was now their spot. They were sitting on the soft grass on the side of the auditorium with their backs up against the wall of the building. They sat as closely as possible, which was more Alyssa’s doing, but Natsuki did not mind. She was certain that Alyssa could have sat in her lap and she would not have minded. Internally, she was actually happy that her younger sister wanted to be close to her and was not frightened of her.

“Shizuru is very kind to Oneesan,” Alyssa commented as Natsuki unpacked their very neat lunches. Natsuki had taken the time to tell Shizuru about Alyssa and Alyssa about Shizuru whenever she got the chance to do so. She was very pleased that they both seemed to approve of each other.

“Yup. She takes very good care of me,” Natsuki said. _Much better care than I can take of her_.

Of course, it was hard to take care of anything lately when her monthly allowance had been cut in half. Her father had cited several completely BS reasons for doing such, including saying that she did not need the money now that she did not have to worry about maintaining her motorcycle. The manner in which he said it had been quite callous and brisk, as if dismissing her altogether, as if she were as easy to be rid of as her bike had been if she decided to make any noise. He had gone so far as to tell her what she should buy with her allowance, saying it was to “make sure you spend it wisely.” She could barely afford groceries now.

But, she did her best to think positive … like, she was _positive_ her father was stealing from her. Unfortunately, she could not prove it just yet, especially since when she checked her trust fund account online everything seemed on the up-and-up. But, then again, she had only just started checking it and since she did not write down dates, she was not sure when her father might have withdrawn money before she started getting suspicious. She was also not sure of the amount of money needed to take out for her bills, but it was something that she was starting to research. It would definitely require more study and she planned to devote as much time as she could to it because she refused to let him get away with her means to take care of herself and Shizuru.

“Mom had the baby last week. She’s not going back to work. She’s going to be a stay-at-home mom, which is cool,” Alyssa said out of the blue before taking a big bite out of her sandwich.

“Nice for you. You got another sister?” Natsuki asked.

Alyssa giggled and shook her head. “Dad got the boy he wanted, so _we_ have a brother. He’s a cute little baby. He’s really chubby, but he’s still cute and he kind of purrs, which is funny. You’ll love him when you see him.”

Natsuki smiled and just patted Alyssa’s head. The little girl was very intelligent, but extremely naïve _. Well, maybe too hopeful_ , she silently conceded. Alyssa loved everyone in her family and just wanted them to be together, which seemed like a perfectly healthy thing for a ten-year-old.

“Shizuru makes good sandwiches,” Alyssa said with a satisfied smile as she took another bite of her food.

“Yeah, I know. I’ll ask her to make us some more for next time, okay?” Natsuki replied as she finally nibbled at her own food.

“Good,” Alyssa agreed with a nod before taking yet another huge bite out of her sandwich. She smiled up at the biker. Natsuki smiled back and patted her little sister on the shoulder. It was a nice feeling. _Priceless even_.

-8-8-8-8-

“How was your time with Alyssa?” Shizuru inquired as she and Natsuki cuddled up on the sofa. The television was more watching them than anything else, which was their norm. It worked out since Natsuki’s cable had been cut off not too long ago and they no longer got any channels they liked to watch, anyway.

“It was fun. She’s fun,” Natsuki replied with a smile, which got a smile out of her roommate.

“It’s sweet that Natsuki likes being a big sister,” Shizuru remarked.

Natsuki chuckled. “I like Alyssa. She’s a good egg.”

“I’m happy for you.” Shizuru truly was elated with Natsuki’s relationship with Alyssa. It took Natsuki’s mind off of her bike, the cable being cut off, and from the way the apartment was starting feel, the heat was off too. It seemed like Natsuki’s father was intent on breaking poor Natsuki. Thankfully, it was not working, but if the circles under Natsuki’s eyes meant anything, it was starting to get to her.

“Hey, wanna do something for the break?” Natsuki said out of the blue in a hopeful tone.

Shizuru blinked. “Break?”

“Yeah, break. We got a break coming up. Wanna do something?”

“What would Natsuki like to do?” Shizuru asked curiously, shifting her body so that her legs were now draped over Natsuki’s thighs. She then took Natsuki’s hand with hers and played with Natsuki’s fingers. She noted that Natsuki’s fingers were a little cold, but that did not seem to bother Natsuki, so she did not mention it.

The pale girl shrugged. “I dunno. You wanna do something?”

“I would like to do whatever Natsuki has in mind. Now, if only she would share,” Shizuru remarked with a teasing smile.

“Well, I always wanted to go snowboarding …”

“You want to travel Hokkaido?” Shizuru guessed. She doubted that Natsuki could afford that and she knew that if Natsuki could not pay, then she would not go.

Natsuki smiled coyly and nodded. “Yeah. I think it would be fun, you know? You ever been snowboard?”

Tawny locks swayed as Shizuru shook her head. “I’ve been skiing before. It was enjoyable.”

“Good. So, we should go up there for the break. I saved up some money from long time ago. I think it should be enough to cover it,” Natsuki stated with a near grin.

Shizuru nodded and smiled because of Natsuki’s excitement. “I think it would be fun. Perhaps we could split the cost?” she suggested.

Natsuki’s mouth scrunched up in displeasure. “I can handle it, Shizuru.”

“Natsuki, I would like to pull my weight.”

Natsuki wrapped her arms around Shizuru’s waist and then pretended to try to lift her up. “Oh, I dunno, you might have to pay for the whole thing if we’re going by the pound.”

Shizuru laughed, but swatted at the ebony-haired girl. “How cruel of you! Natsuki, we are in this together. We’re a team, a partnership, a pair, a duo, a—” She was cut off.

“I get it, woman!” Natsuki chuckled. Pushing her hair back, she sighed. “You know … if I can’t pay for stuff, what good am I to you? I should be able to provide for you.”

“Nonsense! You do plenty for me!” Shizuru declared.

“But, it works like this, you cook, so I supply the groceries and do the dishes. You do the laundry, so I make sure the water bill is paid. Stuff like that,” Natsuki explained.

“No, no, no. I dislike this setup, Natsuki. I vote we change it now,” Shizuru proclaimed with a bright smile.

Natsuki laughed and smiled, too. “What would you like to change it to?”

“First of all, I would like to inform you that you do as much for me as I do for you. It is thanks to you that I feel much more comfortable with my own family. I’ve even spoken to my brothers and sister on the phone recently without feeling like I am about to pass out. I call my parents more often and I’m capable of going out with them and not hyperventilating. There used to be a time when I couldn’t even think about them without feeling faint. You made me see that it’s all right to show the whole world who I am. You gave me a real smile.” Shizuru punctuated her statement with said smile.

“It is a nice smile.”

“I’m sure it is. It feels nice. Now, onto what I could like to change. I don’t want you to feel like you need to pay for everything. It’s not all up to you. I live here, too. It is a shared responsibility. We share everything.”

“Like how?”

“Well, it’s like you put it, but without the paying for things part. If I cook, you do the dishes. Or you could help me cook and I could help with the dishes. If money is involved, we both pay. It doesn’t even have to be an equal amount. We should both just put money in.”

Natsuki gnawed the inside of her lip. “Uh … I’ll think about it.”

“How about we try it for the vacation to Hokkaido?”

Natsuki smiled. “Oh, so you want to go?”

“I will go if you agree.”

“Fine! You’re lucky I really wanna go snowboarding!” Natsuki grinned.

Shizuru smiled again and just cuddled into Natsuki. As the biker held her, Shizuru could only wonder what type of father would purposely take everything Natsuki possessed, especially starting with the one thing that might have broken Natsuki. Of course, she could not understand why anyone would want to break Natsuki at all.

“You are so precious to me,” Shizuru whispered and she kissed Natsuki’s neck.

“Same here,” Natsuki replied, caressing Shizuru’s thigh.

-8-8-8-8-

“These sandwiches are even better than before,” Alyssa commented before shoving the rest of her sandwich in her mouth. She and Natsuki were sitting in their spot and eating sandwiches again.

“Shizuru makes real good sandwiches,” Natsuki agreed, shoving her sandwich in her mouth, too. In fact, she was sure that Alyssa picked the habit up from her. She could imagine Alyssa’s mother having a cow if the child did such a thing in front of her, which she hoped Alyssa did do just for that reaction.

“Yeah,” Alyssa agreed as her big sister passed her another sandwich. “Am I going to meet her?” Hope shined in her eyes.

“I’d like you to and she’s like to meet you, but you leave before she gets done with student council. I don’t know if you’ll meet her anytime soon, unless she cuts one of the meetings, which is something she might do. We just gotta give it time,” Natsuki replied, grabbing one of the sodas that she bought. She cracked one open and passed it to Alyssa.

“I’m not supposed to have soda,” the blond said, eyeing the drink with undisguised desire.

“One won’t kill you. Besides, I can’t have you choking on a sandwich,” the biker remarked with a smile.

Alyssa smiled and nodded. “Thanks.”

“So, how’s school going?”

“Pretty good. You know I have one of your old teachers. I was very happy to tell her you were my sister and she was happy to hear about you. She was very impressed by me. She said I was just as smart as you were.”

“I’m surprised any of my grade school teachers even remember me.”

“Come on, Oneesan, you know you’re really smart. Some of the teachers remembered that you could be a bit of a troublemaker, too.”

Natsuki laughed a little. “Yeah, I was a little hyper. Once upon a time.”

“Before your momma died?” Alyssa asked in a small voice.

Natsuki swallowed a lump in her throat. “Yeah, before my mom died.”

Alyssa then did what Natsuki felt like was the most grown up thing ever; she hugged Natsuki. The little girl stood up and pulled Natsuki’s upper body into a sweet, fond embrace. Natsuki almost burst into tears, but managed to keep it in. She wrapped one arm around Alyssa and patted her on the back.

“Thank you so much,” the pale woman whispered.

“I’m here for Oneechan. I’m here,” Alyssa said.

Natsuki noted the change in her title and felt like she was somehow closer to Alyssa now that she was “oneechan” instead of “oneesan.” “It means a lot to me,” she replied. She smiled and so did her little sister. Things went back to normal. “So, tell me about school.”

“I like here. I’m glad that Mom and Dad put me in this school. I’ve made a lot of friends. A lot of kids think I’m interesting because of my blond hair. They don’t believe I’m Japanese.”

Natsuki laughed. “As long as they’re not picking on you.”

“No, they’re really nice. So, I’m really happy that I’m here, especially since you’re here. I missed you a lot when you left and then you moved away. I didn’t even know you stopped being sick. I’m glad you got all better. I can’t wait for you to move back in. I bet when we move over here, you can come back. You’ll get your own room, too. Mom told me that we’ll all have our own rooms and a yard.”

Natsuki smiled and nodded. It sounded like her father was making way for his real family. She nodded and agreed with whatever Alyssa said about the house plans, not wanting to crush her hopes and dreams about where Natsuki fit into that whole plan. Or rather did not fit in, beyond unwittingly financing at least part of it. Her money had to be going somewhere and as things were being turned off in the apartment, she knew it was not going to pay her bills.

The conversation was cut short as Miyu suddenly showed up. Her face was as blank as Natsuki remembered it, yet the younger girl still seemed to glare at the biker. Natsuki quickly climbed to her feet to at least keep Miyu from literally looking down on her. Alyssa smiled, even when Miyu’s eyes fell to the open soda can that Alyssa had been drinking from.

“I didn’t do anything to her,” Natsuki felt the need to say. While Miyu had not been present during the horrible incident several years ago, she knew the younger teen believed it when it went around that Natsuki had tried to kill Alyssa. She was not sure how much of it Miyu believed, though, considering the fact that Miyu had not attacked her for simply being around the little girl.

“You gave her soda, which she is not allowed to have,” Miyu pointed out as if accusing the ebony-haired teen of a serious crime.

“It was just a drink,” Natsuki retorted, rolling her eyes.

“Come on, Alyssa-chan. We should be getting home,” Miyu said, taking Alyssa by the hand. She gently led Alyssa away before any other words were exchanged. Alyssa turned and waved her goodbye to Natsuki, who waved back.

The pale woman had a terrible feeling in the pit of her stomach about what just happened, but ignored it. She gathered up her things and went to wait for Shizuru. Shizuru showed up her usual time and Natsuki forced out a smile when the student council president smiled at her.

“Ready to go home?” Natsuki asked, hoping that her voice sounded normal.

“But, of course,” Shizuru replied. “What’s the matter, Natsuki? Did your sister not enjoy the sandwiches?” She probably realized that something was wrong with Natsuki the second she saw her.

“No, she loved ‘em! She loves everything you make. She’s wondering when you two can meet,” Natsuki said as they started for the bus stop.

Shizuru’s eyes shined as she smiled and took Natsuki’s hand. “Oh, that would be lovely. Is there any way for that to happen?”

“I doubt it. Her parents don’t want her around me, so it’s not like they’d let her come over and play or anything.”

Shizuru frowned. “Why don’t they want her around you? You’re a fine, well-adjusted, responsible person.”

Natsuki laughed and gave her friend a sidelong glance. “Really, Shizuru? How long have you known me?”

“You are! I don’t understand why your family doesn’t see it and give you a chance. Well, I shouldn’t say that. Alyssa obviously adores you.”

Natsuki smiled and nodded, but did not say anything further. Yes, Alyssa adored her, but they could only see each other in secret and who knew how long that would go on for. Miyu discovering them would probably be the end of that. Miyu did not trust Natsuki anymore than Alyssa’s parents. Miyu probably thought that Natsuki was planning to ritualistically murder Alyssa behind the auditorium.

“I think Alyssa adoring me might be enough,” Natsuki admitted. There was something about the sparkle in those sapphire eyes when Alyssa looked at her that told her Alyssa was all she needed from her so-called family.

“Well, I adore Natsuki, too,” Shizuru added with a smile.

“You and Alyssa are way more than enough then,” Natsuki replied with a smile of her own.

When they arrived at the apartment, Natsuki figured that she could put it all behind her. Yeah, Miyu found out that she met with Alyssa and probably would stop her from meeting with her little sister, but it was not the end of the world. She still had Shizuru and they had a roof over their heads. Sure, it was a cold roof, but it was a roof nonetheless. And then, she reached for the light switch, only for nothing to happen. Natsuki sighed and rubbed her forehead.

“Natsuki,” Shizuru said, wanting to assure the ebony-haired girl that everything was fine.

“C’mon,” Natsuki mumbled, taking Shizuru by the hand and leading her out of the apartment. She closed the door with her free hand and hurriedly returned to the street.

“Natsuki, where are we going?” Shizuru inquired, jogging to keep up with Natsuki.

“I’m taking you home,” the younger woman stated bluntly.

“Natsuki, we are home.”

“I can’t let you live some place with no lights and no heat in the goddamn winter! I just can’t,” Natsuki huffed.

Shziuru gave Natsuki’s hand a gently squeeze. “Natsuki, we’ll be fine.”

“Yeah, we will, but I’m not letting you stay there.”

“Then we can _both_ stay with my aunts. I’m sure they won’t mind. We can regroup from there.”

Natsuki did not respond. Shizuru was not sure what to make of that, but a quiver in her stomach told her it was not a good silence. They rode the bus with Shizuru trying to make conversation and Natsuki staring out of the window, not saying anything in return.

“We should have gotten some clothes for you,” Shizuru commented as they strolled up the walkway to her aunts’ house.

Natsuki waved it off, as if clothes did not matter. Anh let the pair in with a bright smile that dropped when she noticed their expressions, especially Natsuki’s crestfallen, defeated look. Shizuru offered her aunt a small smile as an explanation for the moment.

“Hello, Auntie. I hope you don’t mind if we stay here for the night,” Shizuru requested.

“Oh, by all means. This is still your home, Shizuru, even if you have another,” Anh replied.

“Thank you. I’m going to take Natsuki up to my room,” Shizuru said and this time she was the one leading Natsuki. They went up to her room and she eased Natsuki into her desk chair. She caressed Natsuki’s pale cheek.

“I should go home …” Natsuki murmured, eyes glued to the floor.

“You’ll do no such thing. Sit here for a moment and regroup,” Shizuru ordered while peeling Natsuki out of her clothes.

Natsuki did not put up any fight. Shizuru removed Natsuki’s school clothes and replaced them with pajamas. She then eased Natsuki down into bed and held her.

“Everything is going to be all right,” Shizuru promised in a whisper as she cradled Natsuki’s head to her chest. She gently stroked Natsuki’s hair.

“Shizuru …” Natsuki said the name in an exhausted breath.

“Hmm?”

“I can’t wait to go to Hokkaido. We play in the snow and go snowboarding or skiing and have a lot of fun …”

“Yes, Natsuki, we will,” Shizuru vowed.

“It’ll be a blast …” Natsuki said and it was clear from the way the words came out like air that Natsuki was asleep.

Shizuru leaned over and kissed a pale cheek. “Yes, it will. It certainly will.” At least Natsuki still wanted to go on vacation. She just hoped they could make it that far without something else going wrong.

-8-8-8-8-

Next time: Natsuki is broken.


	9. Void

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t own these characters.
> 
>  
> 
> A/N: this is an AU ShizNat story based on a manga called [Pieta](http://dynasty-scans.com/series/pieta). I recommend it to anyone who likes manga.

9: Void

Shizuru eased away from Natsuki when she was certain the exhausted biker was in a deep sleep. She then silently made her way downstairs to speak with her aunts. She found Anh and Laula sitting on the couch, as if they were waiting for her. She sighed and sat down in an armchair and faced her aunts. She did not waste time and broke the heavy silence that hung over the room. 

“The apartment is freezing and the lights have been turned off,” Shizuru informed her aunts as if she were talking about the weather.

The couple blinked in unison, stunned by the news. Laula regained her voice first. “What happened?” she asked as she leaned forward, as if she would miss the response if she were sitting all the way back.

“I imagine the bills aren’t being paid,” Shizuru replied, unable to hold in a small sigh at the end of her statement. She put her hand to her forehead and shook her head briefly.

“Why not? Doesn’t Natsuki’s father take care of the bills?” Laula inquired, her voice was near demanding. Her eyes flashed, outraged that her niece was not being taken care and a father was neglecting his daughter.

Crimson eyes rolled and Shizuru could not keep the bitterness out of her tone. “Apparently not anymore.” A frown settled on her face as she considered Natsuki father and she knew that she was starting to feel hatred toward a man that she never had the displeasure of meeting.

“Any particular reason why?” Anh chimed in. Her forehead was creased and her eyes searched the floor, trying to make sense of what she was being told.

The teen shook her head. “I do not know. I do know that her father is in control of her trust fund, but she hasn’t spoken of any suspicious activity and she has checked the account online several times. But, the fact that she keeps checking the account is odd. It’s as if she’s looking for suspicious activity. When I first moved in, she never thought about it, but lately, it’s one of the things she does at school when waiting for me and she does it often at home,” she reported.

Laula nodded and then she snorted. “Well, I suppose it’s nice to know her father isn’t stealing from her, even though it damn sure sounds like she thinks her father’s stealing from her. Something could be going on with that and you make it sound like she thinks there is something going on with that, even though she hasn’t said anything. Is her father the type of man that would do something like that?”

“From the few times she’s spoken of him and to him, I hate to say it, but yes,” Shizuru stated, shaking her head. “The things that he’s done to her …” she trailed off as a shiver ran through her body.

Laula waved it off. “Don’t say anymore.”

“We’ll look into it,” Anh promised.

“As soon as possible,” Laula added in a hard tone. Shizuru knew the determination in her aunts’ eyes. They would definitely get to the bottom of things as soon as possible.

“Other than that, you girls are welcome to stay here. It is still your home and we like Natsuki-chan,” Anh said. “Just try not to keep us up with your youthful energy,” she teased with a lewd smile.

Shizuru chuckled and shook her head. “Sorry, Auntie Anh, but Natsuki and I don’t use our youthful energy in such a manner.”

“You don’t?” Laula inquired in a shocked tone. The way her brow furrowed and her eyes squinted, it was clear that she was beyond confused, which made her niece smile a little in amusement. “Why the hell not?” she accidentally blurted out. Realizing what she said, she put her hand over her mouth while the Fujino women giggled.

“You should. It would definitely relieve some of the stress. Especially in poor Natsuki. She looks awful,” Anh proclaimed.

Shizuru laughed. “Thank you, Auntie,” she said sarcastically. “Natsuki will be fine. She’s even still looking forward to our trip to Hokkaido. That will certainly pick her spirits up and now that she doesn’t have to worry about her father paying for everything, she should be fine.”

Laula’s eyes went wide and then she grinned. “You two planning a trip together? I guess you’re saving up all of that youthful energy for the trip!”

Shizuru laughed and waved her aunt off. “I am pleased that she still looking forward to it. Despite all that has happened, she still wants to go and have a good time. I just wish there was something I could do about the apartment.”

The two adults nodded. “Don’t worry, Shizuru-chan,” Anh smiled. “We will help,” the playful woman promised.

“How?” Shizuru asked with a suspiciously craned eyebrow.

“Well, first off, we’ll check in on Natsuki’s father. Find out about why he is no longer taking her care of a daughter that someone obviously had faith in him to take care of,” Laula proclaimed while scowling. “What type of man lets his daughter freeze in the dark when she’s depending on him? When she has no choice but to depend on him? Pig,” she sneered. She was clearly disgusted with Natsuki’s father and his actions, which did not surprise Shizuru. Her aunt Laula was always big on taking care of her responsibilities and looked down on anyone that did not do the same.

“What happened to Natsuki-chan’s mother?” Anh asked curiously.

“She died in a car accident almost ten years ago. I think she was the only family that Natsuki had beyond her father and it would seem that her father doesn’t view her as much of his family,” Shizuru sighed. Dealing with Natsuki now, Shizuru understood how thankful she should be and now was for her family.

“His family?” Laula echoed with an arched eyebrow.

“He is married with two daughters and a newborn son. He purposes keeps Natsuki away. She had never even met her baby brother and only recently was able to see her little sister after years of being kept apart,” Shizuru explained. “Natsuki has been an outcast in that family since day one from what I can tell.”

“Poor Natsuki,” Anh said with a sorrowful look in her eyes. “No one deserves so much heartache and pain, especially someone so young and vulnerable. Is there a reason that her father treating her so awfully?”

“Not that there could be any kind of logical, acceptable reason,” Laula added in a snit.

Shizuru shook her head. “Agreed. I don’t know why he acts the way that he does. Natsuki just seems to accept that he doesn’t seem to like her much. I’m almost certain the feeling is mutual, but I know she was not born with this dislike. He has acted in a way to earn it.”

“I can believe that if he’s possibly stealing from her after her dead mother trusted him to take care of her if he’s actually moved her into the apartment in order to just keep her away from her family. It also gave him an excuse to dip into her trust fund at least once a month,” Laula said, still frowning. “How could he betray her mother’s trust and do this to their child? I can only wonder why her mother even left her with him.”

“I don’t think there was much choice there. All Natsuki had was her mother and without her, there was only her father. I don’t think they were ever close and I don’t think he ever wants to be close to her. I hate to think that her father just doesn’t care about her, but that seems to be the case,” Shizuru said something that had been gnawing at her for a long time. “I don’t understand how a father can just not care about his own daughter.”

“Some people are just assholes, Shizuru. Don’t worry, though. We’ll take care of her,” Laula promised, staring directly at Shizuru. “You two aren’t in this alone. Let us help.” She leaned forward and patted Shizuru on the knee.

“For starters, stay here for as long as you need. We don’t mind,” Anh stated. “I would definitely prefer you here than you both struggling out there in the world. Think of this as a resting place for you two to plot your next move and to figure out what you will do in this life.”

The teen nodded. “I’ll speak with Natsuki. I’m sure she’ll understand,” she replied. Natsuki might put up a fight, but in the end, she was certain that Natsuki would do the smart thing, like she had done when they left the apartment earlier. There was no reason for them to suffer if they had people willing to help them.

A few hours later, Natsuki wandered downstairs, her hair wild from sleep and her eyes partially opened. She found Shizuru on the sofa, alone with her homework. She immediately curled into Shizuru’s lithe form. Shizuru wrapped her arms around the biker and held her tightly, protecting her from anything else that might try to do her harm. She leaned over and kissed a pale forehead.

“Did sleeping help you feel better?” Shizuru asked in a quiet tone, stroking Natsuki’s silky hair.

“Yeah, I feel much better. Thanks,” Natsuki sighed, sounding relieved. She relaxed completely against the older teen.

“Natsuki, my aunts have offered to let us stay here, if you want.”

The younger woman was silent briefly. “It won’t be a bother for them if I’m around?”

“No, they happen to like Natsuki very much. It would only be temporary. We could look for own apartment when school is over. Wouldn’t that be nice? We could start over together. We could have a home that’s truly ours because we both chose it and we both put ourselves into it,” Shizuru proposed with a smile.

Natsuki smiled, too. “That would be nice. We could pick out furniture together and everything.”

“I would enjoy that greatly,” Shizuru said, her embrace just a little stronger.

Natsuki pulled away a bit in order to look Shizuru in the eye, as if needing to say something very serious. “We’re still going to Hokkaido, though, right?”

The older teen giggled. “Definitely.”

“Good. I gotta go get my stuff from the apartment, though. I can’t wear your clothes for the rest of the year,” Natsuki pointed out with a laugh.

“No?” Shizuru glanced down at Natsuki and caressed her bicep. “I rather like you in my clothes. But, I can understand why you would want you own.”

Natsuki nodded. “My own clothes and my gaming system. Thank God they can’t repo that,” she remarked with a chuckle.

“I’m glad you can make light of the situation.”

“Material possessions aren’t that important. I can get a new bike one day and even if something happens with Alyssa, it won’t be permanent. Eventually, she’ll be old enough to make her own decisions and I know she’ll find me. I got you. Nobody can take that away from me,” Natsuki declared with a smile.

“You do have me and I have you and we will always be a pair,” Shizuru concurred. She kissed the end of Natsuki’s nose.

A bright smile lit up a pale face and Natsuki nodded. “So, after school tomorrow, I’ll go get my stuff.”

“Do you want me to come with you?” Shizuru asked.

“You could meet me at the apartment. Your aunts have a car, right? I might need you to drive over.” Natsuki proposed. “You drive, right?”

Shizuru nodded. “Do you think you’ll have so many things that you’ll need the car?”

“I don’t want to get on the bus with like three suitcases. I’d be begging to get robbed … not that I own any suitcases anyway. I’d have, like, three duffle bags.” Natsuki chuckled at the thought of walking around with three duffle bags stuffed full of what most would view was useless or meaningless items.

“You wouldn’t have that many if you only folded your clothing,” Shizuru teased.

“Folding is a myth,” Natsuki retorted with a cheeky grin and dismissed the whole notion with a wave of her hand.

Shizuru decided to attack on that, going after Natsuki with very effective tickle torture. Natsuki cried out and slid off the couch, but Shizuru did not relent. Anh and Laula peeked in just to make sure everything was fine and then made themselves scarce when it was clear that Shizuru had to upper hand.

-8-8-8-8-

Natsuki went to her apartment right after school was done to pack up her things. She mentally went over the things that she should take and realized that it was not much that she needed. She would probably pack up the other stuff and give it to charity. She doubted that she could sell it for much, after all.

“The TV might get me a little something and the kitchen appliances. That would be good for some spending money in Hokkaido,” Natsuki smiled to herself. She would be able to get some souvenirs not just for Shizuru, but also for Anh and Laula, who were being so kind to her. “And then, me and Shizuru will get all new stuff when we get our own apartment. Together. We’ll have a place together.” The thought made her smile grow wider.

Stepping inside, she tried the light switch only to be reminded that the lights were out. As freezing as the place was, she knew the heat was still off, too. She shrugged and went directly to the living room. She was halted as soon as she saw an intruder in the apartment – Alyssa’s mother, her father’s wife.

“Shamrock-san,” Natsuki said with frosty formality and a stone cold look on her face.

Una Shamrock looked exactly as Natsuki recalled, even though she had not seen the woman in years. The same cold eyes staring at her, regarding her as something subhuman, almost as if she were sizing Natsuki up for the kill. She was dressed almost pompously, as if calling out her wealth with her clothing. Wealth that Natsuki was sure the older woman should not have.

“It’s Kuga now, Natsuki. I have been married to Kuga-kun for years now, after all,” Una corrected the teen with a taunting smirk.

“Yeah, that’s a real accomplishment,” Natsuki commented sarcastically, rolling her eyes. She stepped closer to her TV, still intent on getting her video games. Una came between her and her goal, though. “I’m guessing there’s something you want,” the ebony-haired teen stated in a bland tone.

“Several things actually,” Una said in a harsh, condescending tone. She curled her lip as if Natsuki was something that she stepped in.

The expression did not faze Natsuki one bit, which stunned Natsuki because once upon a time, Una’s mere existence troubled her. There was wickedness in the woman before her. Una Shamrock was the embodiment of cold and dark for Natsuki and her presence often caused tremors in the biker’s stomach. She wanted to escape the poisonous aura as soon as possible.

“Well, make it quick. I don’t have time for this and especially your bullshit,” Natsuki replied in her own fed up voice. She needed to collect her things and then she could call Shizuru and wash her hands of all of this shit. It was oddly liberating to lose everything. _Because everything tied me down to Dad, but not anymore. I don’t have to deal with him or with her ever again. Fuck them_.

“You do have time for it. If you have time to try and hurt my daughter, you have time to listen to me. Stay the hell away from Alyssa or I swear to God you’ll regret it for the rest of your life,” Una commanded, pointing a threatening finger at the teen.

“All right. And just for your information, I had no plans to hurt Alyssa, not now and not back then. I’m not a fucking monster,” Natsuki said strongly while glaring at her stepmother.

Una glared right back. “You had a gun drawn on her and she was bawling by the time we got to you. She was scared for her life. You’re insane and everyone knows it. We just didn’t know how insane and dangerous you were until that moment. You’d have killed her if we hadn’t stopped you. You are a monster. A terrible, vicious, little monster. You’re lucky you’re not still locked up in that hospital,” Una snarled. “Although, there’s always next time and I promise you there will be a next time if you go near any of my children ever again. I also promise you that the new hospital will make the last one look like the Ritz.”

Natsuki flinched at the mention of the so-called hospital. It was just like the apartment – dark and cold, like her father’s wife was. She never knew what day it was when she there. She never knew if the sun was out, could not feel warm air. She never saw the world changing. She never saw faces, except for the ones in her head, one looking disdainfully at her. Or worse yet, the dead eyes of her mother staring at her, making her think that she was back in the water, back in the car, in her tomb.

“There won’t be a next time! I wasn’t trying to hurt Alyssa and I’m much better now, so I won’t be hurting myself!” Natsuki proclaimed in a powerful tone. She was better; hell, she was beyond better. She finally felt normal and she would not let her father’s wife take that from her.

Una let loose a wicked chuckle that sent frightened shivers up Natsuki’s spine. The tawny-haired woman then regarded Natsuki with a haughty look that made the biker want to run. It was like staring into an abyss and the abyss was smiling. Her feet were cemented to the floor and her heart was racing. There was no escape.

“Natsuki, all you know how to do is hurt people, don’t you realize that? It’s really the only talent that you have beyond your manias. You’ve been doing it since the day you were born,” Una informed her. Her eyes glimmered with a touch of evil.

“Wha … what do you mean?” Natsuki’s voice trembled. Everything inside of her felt like it was trembling and she wanted to close her eyes to shut everything out, but her brain could not recall how to do that simple task.

“You’ve always been a horrible pain, a burden. Do you know that your father doesn’t even think you’re really his child? He’s pretty sure you belong to some random guy from your mother’s job or maybe even the mailman. You look exactly like your mother, not a single bit of your father in you. Haven’t you ever wondered about that?” Una inquired.

“Not really,” Natsuki answered honestly. She always took it at face value that she just favored her mother. Lately, her father had been treating her so poorly, she thought it was a favor to look in the mirror and not see any trace of him. Of course, always seeing her mom when she looked in the mirror was a little off-putting, but still better than seeing the image of someone she was certain hated her.

“Yes, you’re just some little bastard that he was tricked into taking care of by your lying mother. Could you imagine the emotional trauma she put him through with her deceit?” Una posed and then put a finger to her chin to ponder that exact question. “A lot, you see. He wanted as far away from her as soon as you were visible. He spent so much time awaiting a child that wasn’t even his. She broke his heart. You broke his heart. It took me to heal his emotional scars and your presence only makes matters worse, which is why he never wants to see you. You’re a poison, a blight on his soul.”

“My mom wouldn’t lie,” Natsuki growled and balled her hand into a tight fist. There was no way that her mother would tell her father that she was his child if that was not true. There was no way that her mother would have left her and her trust fund in his hands if he were not her father.

“No, your mother was a saint.” Una rolled her eyes. “She lied to him until the day she died. She ripped his heart out and then made him pay for it. She owed him so much and all she did was take, take, and take some more. She barely left him anything for his new family, his real family.”

Natsuki snarled now. “Is that what this is about? The money? My mom left it for me. And I’d give up every cent of it to get her back!” she proclaimed, throwing her hands out. “I’d give up everything to have her back!”

“Yes, so she could show you what a deceitful bitch she is, which explains why you grew up beyond insane. She owed him and still owes him more than she’d ever be able to pay back for leaving you for him to see every day and just reminding him of her betrayal. Hell, leaving you behind for him to deal with your issues. Really, she wouldn’t have left anything for you if she knew what you were going to do to her,” Una stated and then smiled like a cruising shark.

Natsuki’s heart felt like it was about to collapse in on itself, as if it knew she did not want to question what the older woman was saying. Even as her mouth opened to ask, her throat seized, like her brain knew that she would not be able to handle it. Her lips went dry and she started to shake, but she still managed to get the question out.

“What do you mean?” It was whispered and, to Natsuki’s own ears, it sounded like Death.

“You know your little memory gaps? Your doctor told you and your father that they’re there to protect you from further trauma, right?” Una asked, even though she knew the answer to that.

“She said the memories could come back. They might not be anything at all,” Natsuki argued, wanting to build up her defenses before her father’s wife got to the point.

“Or it could be your brain trying to forget the fact that you were an unruly little brat and you never sat still. It was raining so hard that night and I bet your mother kept telling you to sit down, but no. Little Natsuki was all over the seat, jumping up and down, playing with the radio, touching her mother while she was trying to keep the car on the road, crawling in her lap and being a general pest. How could your mother pay attention to you and the road?” Una pondered aloud.

It felt like a golf ball had taken residency in Natsuki’s throat. She was an active, rambunctious child. She remembered sometimes she would play with the radio in the car and her mother would scold her for changing stations only for her to do it again. It seemed like a game when she was little. Sometimes, she would bother her mother by poking her while she was driving, just to see how many times she could do it before her mother acknowledged her. _Could I have been doing one of those things that night? Distracting my mother? … Killing my mother?_

“You made her turn off the road, Natsuki. You’re the reason your mother isn’t here anymore and I’ll be damned if I let you do that to my child,” Una proclaimed. “You won’t hurt Alyssa like you hurt your mother and your father isn’t going to let you live off of blood money.”

Natsuki was frozen in place, body shaking, but not really moving. She did not see Una turn and leave. She did not even hear the door close. It was like her whole being shut down. All she could sense was the realization that _she_ was the reason her life was a mess. _She_ had been the reason her mother died. She had _killed_ her mother.

“I killed Mom … I killed Mom … I killed Mom,” Natsuki muttered over and over like a horrified chant.

The biker dropped to her knees and held her head in her hands. Her body rocked back and forth. Her eyes were glued to the floor, but not seeing anything. All she could do was feel the cold as the darkness swallowed her, crushed her, and devoured her. She was consumed whole by it all and lost to the world.

“I killed Mom … I killed Mom … I killed Mom … I should’ve died with her … I should’ve died,” Natsuki sniffled as tears poured down her face. She rubbed her eyes with one hand. “I should die …” And she looked up like she had an epiphany. “I should die,” she stated with more certainty than before. “Yeah, I should die.”

Taking a deep breath, Natsuki climbed to her feet and walked off to the bedroom as if on a mission. Despite her determination, she staggered a couple of times on her way. She went into the closet and pulled out the box for her game console. Inside the box rested the one material possession she had purchased in secret – a revolver. She used to walk around with it in her pocket when she was in the house, just in case her urges were not sated when she punched a wall. When Shizuru moved in, she hid the gun in the one place Shizuru would never look because she did not think she needed the weapon anymore and because she did not want to explain its presence to Shizuru.

“Guess that won’t matter anymore,” Natsuki sighed, returning to the living room with the heavy revolver in her hand.

Pacing the room, memories swirled around her head. She could have almost sworn that she heard her mother’s car skidding off the road, the impact of the car on the water, and the chill it filled her with that night. The frozen feeling that never left, that seized her like chains, and squeezed her like a constricting python … except for when Shizuru whispered to her, smiled at her, touched her, and held her. Whenever Shizuru held her, she felt so warm. So very warm.

“I want Shizuru …” Natsuki whimpered as more tears gathered and fell. She scratched the side of her head with the barrel of the gun and flailed her arms. “I don’t wanna be cold when I go. I don’t want the darkness to get me …” She grabbed her phone and dialed for the one person that she knew could make her warm and bring her into the light.

“Hello, Natsuki?” Shizuru’s voice answered. It sounded sweet and loving … and everything that Natsuki did not deserve.

The biker hung up and screamed at the top of her lungs as she flung her phone against the wall with all of her might. It shattered on impact and Natsuki slammed her palm against her forehead as hard as she could. There were more tears as the cold clutched her insides, twisted her guts, wrung her stomach, and sawed through all muscles, nerves, and bones. The darkness swallowed her and tore her apart from the inside out. Silently, as if in a vacuum, her entire being imploded and collapsed in itself like a black hole.

“Best to do alone. Can’t hurt anyone else. Can’t hurt Shizuru,” Natsuki said, putting the gun barrel to the side of her head. “Can’t be a burden. Fucking hell!” she screamed at the top of her lungs and stomped her foot. “Fucking killed my mom? How the fuck could I kill Mom!”

-8-8-8-8-

Shizuru stared at her phone, even though it only displayed “call ended.” Natsuki had phoned her, but had not said a word. _That was strange_. For the second that the line was open, she could hear Natsuki breathing, which sounded labored. It made her blood run cold and her heart seized up.

“I was supposed to meet her at the apartment when she called, anyway,” Shizuru said with a shrug as she marched to the hallway end table that held her aunt Anh’s car keys. “It’s probably nothing, but I would rather be safe than sorry.”

Even though Shizuru quietly assured herself that it was probably nothing, she drove like a madwoman to get to the apartment. Fifteen minutes felt like all eternity, especially when Natsuki did not pick up as she tried to call her back. The calls went straight to voice mail.

“Oh, Natsuki, what is going on? I know it’s probably nothing, but my heart doesn’t seem to believe that,” Shizuru said to the air. No, her heart was ready to burst out of her chest. Not that her chest was helping as it tightened and seized everything inside of her.

Pulling into the parking lot, she left the car horizontal, over three spaces. She took the stairs by threes and pushed open the apartment door. Sunlight rushed in, allowing Shizuru to see Natsuki standing in the living room with a gun to her head.

“NATSUKI!”

The pale woman turned and her eyes went wide, her body jumped a little in surprise. Shizuru’s eyes did the same as the gun fired. The sound seemed deafening and Natsuki dropped in what almost seemed like slow-motion. It was surreal Shizuru put her hand over her mouth as a shrill scream tore through her body and she slid to her knees as gut-wrenching sobs shook her shocked form.

-8-8-8-8-

Next time: did Natsuki just die?


	10. Salvation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t own these characters.
> 
>  
> 
> A/N: this is an AU ShizNat story based on a manga called [Pieta](http://dynasty-scans.com/series/pieta). I recommend it to anyone who likes manga.

10: Salvation

Shizuru bit her thumbnail as she tried to calm her breathing. She leaned against a wall with her free hand to keep herself from falling over. Her knees were shaking and her legs felt like they were jelly. It never occurred to her to sit down in over of the nearby chairs. Her brain was much too occupied with more important things than sitting.

 _Natsuki will be all right_ ; the doctors said so. But, Shizuru still could not steady her breathing or get her heart to beat at a normal rhythm. Her stomach kept rolling as if she were out at sea, making her feel nauseous. The burning in her throat did not help. Her mind just continued to replay the scene of the gun going off and Natsuki going down.

 _There was blood everywhere and it was so cold all around, like frozen knives stabbing at us. The only light poured into the room from the outside, but seemed to be consumed by the unnatural darkness of the apartment. And even as Natsuki lay there, unconscious and bleeding, she looked in pain. Her face was twisted into a grimace and so tense it looked like her flesh would tear clean off of her skull. It was as if she were eternally tormented_. 

Shizuru shook her head to free herself from the gory, grim prison of her memories. Natsuki was alive and well. She had not even shot herself, but the bullet had grazed her head. _Thank God!_ Of course, it was not for lack of trying. Shizuru was not sure if Natsuki purposely missed or if she had just startled the younger woman and that was why the bullet went astray. Natsuki had actually fainted and banged her head on the coffee table as she collapsed. Between the graze wound and the impact wound, Natsuki bled like a gushing fountain, spewing maroon life force all over the living room floor.

“I can’t believe she would do that …” Shizuru sighed in despair while running a shaking hand through her frizzled hair.

“Shizuru-chan, are you all right?” Anh inquired as she and Laula jogged through the hospital corridor to their niece. 

“Is Natsuki all right?” Laula asked right after. Anh nodded, as if that counted as repeating the question.

“Auntie!” Shizuru threw herself into Anh’s arms and sobbed on her shoulder. Anh held her tightly with Laula joining in the embrace. “Why would she do this? Why would she do it?” the teen begged to know before coughing from the heavy crying.

Laula and Anh had no answers, mostly because they did not even know what Natsuki had done. All Shizuru had been able to get out when she called them was that Natsuki was in the hospital and what hospital. Laula tried peeking into the hospital room, but all she saw was Natsuki’s prone, pale form. There were no answers yet.

Shizuru pulled away in time to see a gray-haired woman approaching. She had a stern face and she halted by Natsuki’s room. A frown settled on her face as she looked at Natsuki. She glanced at Shizuru and her eyes went wide for a moment, as if she recognized Shizuru.

“Natsuki’s friend?”

Shizuru blinked. “Natsuki’s psychiatrist, Doctor Maria Graceburt?”

The older woman nodded. “Thank you for calling me. It’s a pleasure to meet you. Although I do wish it was under different circumstances,” she said while reaching out to shake Shizuru’s hand.

“As do I,” Shizuru replied. “She was mumbling for you when she woke up … the first time.”

“She’s been in and out of consciousness?” Maria guessed.

The crimson-eyed teen nodded. “She’s woken up a few times, but not for long periods of time. She keeps mumbling and then she cries and then she slips into unconsciousness again,” she explained. “Why would she do something like this?”

“There are many explanations why. While she has thought about it many times, she has only tried once. What I don’t understand is why now. Natsuki has improved leaps and bounds. This makes absolutely no sense for her to do, especially now,” Maria sighed, motioning inside of the hospital room. “Is there anything that happened that you didn’t tell me about while we spoke on the phone?”

Shizuru shook her head. “No, I believe I told you everything I could think of.”

Maria nodded. “I will have to speak to the source then. Maybe you could go get Natsuki something to comfort her when she wakes up? Some food that she enjoys or something along those lines?”

Shizuru nodded. “I can do that.”

“I’m sure it would be a great deal of help. Natsuki is likely to be less difficult with her favorite food and favorite person nearby,” Maria remarked with a smile.

Shizuru nodded again and walked off with her aunt Anh holding her close. Laula stayed behind and studied Maria. The doctor sighed and rubbed her face.

“I’m Shizuru’s aunt, Laula Bianchi,” the dark-skinned woman introduced herself.

“Doctor Maria Graceburt.” The two shook hands.

“I suppose Shizuru told you more than she told us about how Natsuki got here. But, it sounded like you knew what questions to ask, being her doctor and all.”

Maria nodded and sighed. “I’m glad she called me and, yes, I did know what questions to ask. I also knew how to keep her calm enough to answer those questions and made sure that every other sentence I said was ‘don’t hang up.’ She was so frantic that I nearly had a heart attack over the phone. I’m an old woman. Natsuki shouldn’t be scaring me like this and I’ll tell her just that after I slap her in the head. Natsuki tried something incredibly stupid, take from that what you may.”

“You sound close to her, closer than a doctor almost.”

“She needs someone close to her,” Maria whispered.

Laula nodded. “Now, I know you have a girl in there in pain that needs you, but before you go to her, I just have to ask one question: is Natsuki truly all right? I don’t want Shizuru to end up hurt in all of this,” she stated.

The doctor sighed and stared into the room. “I don’t know what could have caused this. Natsuki seemed like she was beyond fine. I was almost ready to cut down our visits and wish her well in life. She was so normal and happy for the first time since I’ve known her. I don’t know what caused this. I understand you have to look out for Shizuru, but Shizuru has already made it her mission to look out for Natsuki. I’m not sure if she realizes how big this role is, but she’s taken it already. Whatever happens between them is up to them.”

Laula nodded again because that was the truth and Maria focused all of her attention into the room. She noticed movement from the bed and decided to go in. Natsuki turned to her as soon as she entered.

“Close the door,” Natsuki grunted in a low, gruff tone.

Maria did as requested and then sat down next to Natsuki’s bed. “Is this what we call getting better?” she asked with a teasing smile.

Natsuki frowned. “It doesn’t matter. If Shizuru comes by again, tell her to go home. Tell her not to come back. Tell her I never want to see her again.” Tears slid down her cheeks as she spoke.

An elegant eyebrow arched. “Why would I deliver a message that I know is just going to kill you?”

“I’m already dead,” Natsuki croaked. Somehow, the words made her face seem that much more drawn and her pallor turned even more ashen.

“Natsuki, you were making remarkable strides. What happened?” Maria asked bluntly.

“I don’t remember and you told me I didn’t remember because my brain was trying to protect me from the trauma. It was actually protecting me from the fact that I got my mom killed!” Natsuki barked, glaring at her doctor as if she were some sort of offensive beast.

Maria arched an eyebrow again, cool as a cucumber despite everything. “Natsuki, what are you talking about? Just because you were in the car—” she tried to explain, but was cut off.

Natsuki slapped at the bed and then pointed harshly at the psychiatrist. “Yeah, I was in the car and being a brat as usual! Distracting her! Jumping all over the place and keeping her from paying attention to the road! I got her killed and I should be dead, too!” Spit flew from her mouth and then she was suddenly sobbing.

Maria’s forehead wrinkled and her eyes hardened. “Natsuki, where the hell did you get this cockamamie story from?” she demanded.

The teen snarled. “That bitch Una told me! Right after she told me that Dad isn’t even my fucking dad!”

Maria sighed and rubbed her face roughly. She then rubbed her eyes. “Natsuki, are you really going to listen to a woman who put you in _that_ place?” she growled. “Are you honestly that stupid?” she demanded.

“Are you supposed to call me stupid?” Natsuki inquired with a curious expression through her tears and sweat. Her eyes scanned the room briefly, as if she were confused; Maria correctly suspected that Natsuki had a concussion.

“You know I talk to you in the way that I think will get through to you. Now, are you truly that stupid? You actually believe Una of all people? You would believe the woman that accused you of trying to hurt or even kill Alyssa? Do you want me to dig up the police accident report? The one you’ve seen before, but couldn’t make heads or tails of because you were too distraught?” Maria countered.

“I think I would like that,” the biker said through gritted teeth. She then took several deep breaths, unknowingly trying to calm herself down. Reaching up, she wiped her face with the back of her hand.

“Then I’ll get it for you. After you read it, I’ll tell you want I know. I also want you to reconsider you decision of not letting Shizuru in,” Maria stated.

Natsuki shifted and turned her back to Maria, essentially ending the conversation for the moment. Maria frowned, but she did what she was silently commanded to do. Shutting the door behind her, she turned tired eyes to Laula.

“When Shizuru gets back, tell her that Natsuki needs her sleep. Take her home and assure that Natsuki will be fine eventually. I just need time to work through that thick skull in there,” Maria advised Laula.

“What happened?” Laula asked.

“She’s upset by what happened and doesn’t want to see Shizuru right now. I think she’s embarrassed,” Maria lied.

“What did happen exactly?”

Maria’s eyes narrowed as she peered back into the room briefly. “As far as I can tell, someone wanted to push Natsuki’s buttons to make her self-destruct. The problem is – it worked.”

Laula swallowed hard. “You don’t mean someone actually pushed her to …”

“I have to look into it, but I think that’s what happened. Look, Shizuru is very good for Natsuki. I won’t let the idiot girl do anything to ruin the best thing to happen to her in a long time, so I won’t let her hurt Shizuru.”

Laula nodded. Maria stepped away, planning to leave, as Anh and Shizuru returned in the opposite direction. Maria heard Laula tell Shizuru that Natsuki was sleeping and they could return when tomorrow. Laula smiled and motioned for the family to go. Maria was about to continue on her way, but ran into a surprise.

“Kuga-san,” Maria said with a false grin as she met the eyes of Natsuki’s father.

“Doctor Graceburt,” the tall man grunted. Aside from his height, he was completely average. He wore a black business suit with wire frame glasses, hiding plain brown eyes. His short, onyx hair was combed back. He looked like he was going to a board meeting, or perhaps he was coming from one.

“I’m glad you made it,” Maria said, continuing to give him a false grin. Her voice dripped with disdain, so it made her statement seem sarcastic.

“I was called out of work for this nonsense. Do you know how embarrassing that was? I thought you said she wouldn’t pull any crap like this again! I should’ve stuck her in a hospital a long time ago and just put her out of my mind! Stupid worthless kid!” he barked, motioning to the room that was only a couple of feet away.

“She wouldn’t have done this if your wife hadn’t told her that she was the cause of her mother’s death and that she’s not even your daughter! Go in there and tell your daughter the truth!” Maria pointed to the door.

He frowned and looked down his nose at her. “For all I know that is the truth. Damned kid is crazy enough to do anything, even kill her own mother. She tried to kill my little girl, for crying out loud.”

Maria frowned. “You know that isn’t true.”

“Again, for all I know, it is true. Natsuki probably isn’t my child. Her mother worked long nights and that kid looks nothing like me. She never looked anything like me. She didn’t even like me when she was little. She would cry whenever I tried to hold her as a baby and run away when she was a toddler. All she cared about was her mother, who spoiled her, no matter how badly she acted.”

“And, so, you’re going to leave that poor, frightened girl in there lamenting that she killed her mother and you’re not her father?” Maria asked in disbelief.

His lip curled as he pointed in the direction of Natsuki’s room. “I don’t owe that girl anything. I’m sticking that stupid, sick kid in a hospital where I don’t have to worry about her anymore,” he huffed. “She’s too crazy and too stupid to even kill herself. I’m not going to wait around for her to decide to just kill my kids instead, like she tried to do with Alyssa.”

“You don’t really believe that bullshit, do you?” Maria growled.

“I believe I don’t want to deal with that little bastard anymore,” he proclaimed. “I’m tired of her embarrassing my family, a family she’s not even a part of. Why should we have to put up with her? Just because her mother claimed I was her father? I don’t want to be bothered with the dumb kid anymore. I’m going to put her in a hospital where she belongs and wash my hands of her entire sick life. Don’t you dare interfere again, Doctor,” he sneered her title and then he stormed off. Maria was about to be on her way, too, but a hand grabbed her shoulder. She turned to see Laula was still there, even though Shizuru and Anh had gone.

“Was that pig Natsuki’s father?” Laula inquired in a heated, but low tone.

“Unfortunately,” Maria answered with a grunt.

“He didn’t even ask about Natsuki’s condition. Anh and I asked about it the second we got here, even though we asked over the phone,” Laula said incredulously.

“Different people, different reactions,” Maria said. She felt there was little reason to say that Natsuki’s father was an asshole, as that was already obvious.

“Not _that_ different,” Laula stated.

Maria shrugged. “I have no control over his reactions. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have go make so many phone calls before he sticks Natsuki the last place she needs or wants to be.” The doctor rushed away on that note, knowing that she did not have a lot of time to work with.

Laula nodded; she had work to do, too. The first thing would be to find out exactly what happened from Shizuru. Next, she was going to look up that “Kuga-san.” 

-8-8-8-8-

Shizuru decided to go to the apartment to gather items for Natsuki. She figured familiar things would help Natsuki’s convalescence. She was surprised to find the door open and a woman packing up Natsuki’s things.

“Excuse me, what are you doing?” Shizuru asked politely, but her body tensed.

The tawny-haired woman looked up. “Who are you?” she demanded to know, as if Shizuru had just entered her living space and not the other way around.

The teen steeled herself and regarded the woman with caution. “I’m Fujino Shizuru. I’m a friend of Natsuki’s. Who are you?”

“Kuga Una. What are you doing here?”

“I’ve come for some of Natsuki’s things.”

Una motioned around to the boxes. “Take what you will. The rest is just going to be thrown away, anyway.”

“Why?” Shizuru did not know much about Kuga Una, but what she did know caused her to immediately dislike the woman. Meeting her now and seeing what she was doing only reinforced that feeling.

“Natsuki isn’t going to need them. She’s going where she belongs,” Una declared rather smugly. She even smiled.

“Where she belongs?” Shizuru echoed with a wrinkled forehead. She shifted her weight to her right foot and folded her arms across her stomach, watching and waiting in an almost serpentine manner. When she attacked Una, venom would definitely be exchanged.

“Yes, we’re putting her in a mental institution, getting her out of the way. Washing our hands of that crazy girl and you’d be wise to do the same or she might come after you. She actually tried to kill my daughter, you know? She has to go away. So, you can go ahead and take what you want. It’ll save me a trip to the dump.” The older woman again motioned to the boxes around the room.

Shizuru nodded, too flabbergasted by the gall of the woman. Not that she would have been able to dredge up enough respect to say anything anyway. Natsuki had just tried to take her own life and her stepmother was just going to callously pack away all of Natsuki’s things while planning to lock Natsuki away in an institution. She knew Natsuki was scared to death of being hospitalized again. After meeting her stepmother, Shizuru could understand why that was. _How can this woman possibly be so uncaring about her own stepdaughter?_

Shizuru quickly and silently grabbed the things that she knew Natsuki would want. One item caught her attention and told her all that she needed to know about Kuga Una. On top of a box marked “trash” was a little plush toy of a dachshund. It was Natsuki’s most treasured possession; she slept with it under her pillow. It was the only toy she had from when her mother was alive. _What type of woman would mark such a keepsake as trash?_

After packing everything into her aunt’s car, Shizuru drove away from the apartment, never looking back. She went directly to the hospital, only to be stopped from entering Natsuki’s room. The nurse informed her that Natsuki did not want any visitors, except for Doctor Graceburt.

“Are you sure?” Shizuru inquired with a troubled expression. _Why does Natsuki not want to see me?_

“Quite certain,” the nurse reported. “I’m sorry, but I have to do what the patient thinks is best for her own health.”

The teen nodded. “I agree and completely understand your position.”

Shizuru was not sure what to make of her being banned from Natsuki’s room, but she had a few ideas as to why Natsuki did not want to see anyone. That did not erase the hurt that she felt, knowing Natsuki did not want her in there. Stepping outside, she called Doctor Graceburt.

“Shizuru, I’m surprised to hear from you,” Maria said and it sounded like she was being sarcastic.

“Did you know that Natsuki requested no visitors other than yourself?” Shizuru inquired, unable to keep her voice from sounding tearful.

“I was aware.”

Shizuru sniffled and scratched her head while turning her eyes to the sky. “Why does she not want to see me?”

“I’m sure some reasons only she could tell you. The biggest I would think is the embarrassment she has to be suffering over the fact that you were the one to find her and get her help. Shizuru, I believe that Natsuki wanted nothing more than to be at her very best for you. She soared while you took care of her and she wanted to continue with that because she wanted to make you proud, but you witnessing her at rock bottom might have been too much.”

Shizuru nodded. “Well, I will just have to prove to her that nothing has changed between us.”

“Are you sure you want to take on this task? If you continue on with Natsuki, do you know all of the roles you would need to fulfill within her? Mother, sister, best friend, lover. Can you handle that?”

“If I can’t, then we both wither and die. I need her as much as she needs me and in just as many roles. You may know her well, but you know almost nothing of me, Doctor. Natsuki is the one that makes me comfortable in my own skin when I used to be deathly afraid of who I really was. Natsuki has opened me up to knowing love isn’t about expectations and life isn’t about impressing the world. She made me the person I am and made me live my life for myself. I will stand with Natsuki forever if allowed,” Shizuru proclaimed.

Maria chuckled. “Glad I’ll be able to share the headache,” she remarked. “Make sure you show her your persistence.”

It was Shizuru’s turn to laugh. “I am always that when it comes to my Natsuki. I will speak with you later, Doctor.”

The call was ended and Shizuru turned her attention back to the hospital. She reentered with new focus and energy. She would get into that goddamned room.

-8-8-8-8-

Maria returned before the day was out, knowing there was not much time before Natsuki was released and her father would have control of her destiny. First, she needed to get Natsuki’s mind back in the right place, so the girl could help her by helping herself. The doctor was not surprised to see Shizuru standing outside of Natsuki’s room. She offered the teen a smile before going in. Shizuru smiled back as Maria closed the door.

“Wow, Natsuki, you look better than I thought you would,” Maria commented with a stern expression.

Natsuki grunted. “The nurse brought in my clothes because Shizuru won’t go the hell away. When you leave, you take her with you,” she ordered. She was wearing her own pajamas. She could not believe the hospital had kept her overnight and still had not released her, even though all she had was a burning scar going through her scalp and a gash wrapping around her skull. Okay, yes, she was also suffering from a concussion and a major headache, but she did not think it warranted still being in the hospital.

“I doubt I could force that girl to do anything she did not want to. It seems like it’s one of her more endearing qualities. Reminds me of someone else that I won’t bother to mention,” Maria replied as she pulled up a chair. She then dropped a folder in Natsuki’s lap.

“What’s this?” the pale teen inquired, lifting up the thin, manila folder.

“That, my girl, is the accident report. _Your_ accident report. I had it filed in your folder when you first showed up. Remember talking about it?”

“A little bit,” Natsuki replied, eyes focused on the papers in her lap.

“Flip through it. Give it a read over.”

Natsuki sighed and did as she was told, even though she did not see the point. After all, if they had already gone through it, what was the point of doing it again? _Just a waste of time and effort, sort of like me_. She shivered as she read about how the car had gone into the water. She never could remember if it was the sea or a lake or a river. She could only remember it was cold, freezing and cutting through her like icy serrated knives.

“It was a lake. We fell into a lake,” Natsuki muttered.

“Keep reading,” Maria urged her.

Natsuki sighed again, but continued on. “A truck?” She scratched her head. “I don’t remember a truck …”

“Makes sense. There are a lot of things that you don’t remember from that night,” Maria said and emerald eyes looked up at her. “Just keep reading. I promise, it’ll all make sense.”

“Okay, so a truck jumped the line …” Natsuki read on. She got to the end where a police officer at the scene was kind enough to record her mother’s last words. “My mom was still alive when we were in the car? But, she wasn’t moving …”

“Keep reading,” Maria growled. “Such a hardheaded little punk,” she remarked with a smile.

“I think you take the tough love thing too far sometimes,” Natsuki commented.

“Who says it’s love?” Maria teased.

The biker snorted and then went back to her task. “Mom woke up when they pulled her out …” she murmured in disbelief and then she gasped. “Why did she tell them I was asleep? I wasn’t sleeping! I was awake and she was asleep!” She turned to Maria. “I was awake!”

“Natsuki from the way I understand it, you were sleeping until the car hit the water. Your mom hit her head on the steering wheel and the airbag didn’t deploy. She was knocked unconscious. She woke up as they were packing her into an ambulance and she thought you were still asleep in the car. She actually tried to get off of the gurney when she saw the car sinking deeper into the water, wanting to go in after you,” Maria explained. “Well, that was as much as I could get when I went looking.”

“Why didn’t you ever tell me she woke up and tried to get me?” Natsuki asked.

“Because we had a whole lot of other things to get to before that and you never brought it up when you looked over the file. But, can we bury at least one ghost?”

Natsuki nodded. “I should’ve known that bitch was lying! Goddamn it! I actually thought this was my fault! I was starting to think that I could actually hurt someone else, like Alyssa. Hell, like Shizuru!” She then gasped. “Shizuru. I did hurt her …”

“No, you didn’t. She’s waiting for your signal to let her back into your life,” Maria said with a small smile.

“You sure? I mean, I screwed up big. Fucking almost killed myself, in front of her no less. I actually did something even worse than that,” Natsuki admitted. Emerald eyes stared up at the ceiling and it looked like she thought the whole world would crash down on her.

“What did you do?”

“I thought …”

-8-8-8-8-

Maria exited the room. She appeared a little troubled. She focused on Shizuru and looked even more troubled. Shizuru decided to take that as a sign to approach.

“What happened?” the teen asked.

“Go and there and talk to her. I have things to do and treatments to prepare,” Maria replied briskly and she hurried away.

Shizuru thought that was odd, but she decided to go in if she had permission. She went to the door and was pinned for a moment by sorrowful emerald eyes. Those puppy-dog eyes said a better apology than words ever could.

“Shut the door, please,” Natsuki requested.

Shizuru nodded and did as asked. She then sat down in the chair by the bed. She smiled at the biker.

“Natsuki is looking much better today,” Shizuru commented while reaching for a pale hand.

The younger woman smiled while moving her hand out of her friend’s reach. “Don’t be nice to me yet. I have something I need to tell you before anything else. Shizuru, I hurt you a lot in the past couple of days, but the worst thing I did, you don’t even know about.”

Crimson eyes squinted and searched Natsuki’s face for understanding. “What do you mean?”

Natsuki took a deep breath and eyed the ceiling for a moment before focusing directly on Shizuru. “When I called you yesterday and I didn’t say anything …”

“Yes?” Shizuru’s stomach bubbled a little, frightened of the way that her Natsuki was behaving.

Natsuki swallowed and willed her heart to remain steady, even though it was still speeding up a bit. “Shizuru, before I made that call, I had decided I was going to kill myself.”

Shizuru inhaled sharply. “Did Natsuki call me to say goodbye and then couldn’t do it?”

“No, I actually didn’t have any plans to say goodbye to you. I was going to do the worst thing imaginable.”

“What?”

Natsuki took a deep breath, planning to get all out. “For a split second …” Tears welled up in her eyes and slid down her face. “I wanted you to come with me …” she burst out sobbing. “It was so cold and I knew it would always be. But, I’m always warm when you’re close … I just thought … God, Shizuru, I’m a monster!”

“No, no!” Shizuru was up in a flash, embracing the smaller teen. She held Natsuki close. “You are not a monster. You were just scared and you wanted to feel safe. I know that feeling, Natsuki. I know it all too well and you’re the one that makes me safe. You make me brave.” She cradled Natsuki to her as she continued to sob.

“I’m sorry! I’m so sorry!” Natsuki clutched tightly to Shizuru’s arms.

“It’s okay. You were scared, Natsuki. You were scared.”

“I was so scared! I thought I was the reason Mom died. I thought I killed Mom! And then I figured if that was the case, I shouldn’t be alive. But, then I thought about how alone I’d be and it was probably gonna be cold and dark and I got so scared! I didn’t wanna be scared! Then you came to mind and I actually called you. What the hell is wrong with me? I called you!”

“Sweetheart, listen to me, you were scared. Yes, you called, but then you hung up. You didn’t hurt me. In fact, you calling saved your life. I knew something was wrong and I rushed over. I think I hit a nun on the way,” Shizuru joked and she got the desired laugh out of Natsuki.

“Well, at least I know you’re going to Hell with me … one day,” Natsuki remarked.

“But, no time soon, right?” Shizuru whispered.

Natsuki held onto Shizuru as tightly as possible. “No, definitely no time soon.”

“Good because we have to get you out of here and away from your parents. If your stepmother is to be believed, you are going to be hospitalized again very soon. Aunt Laula seems to believe your father is also out for your trust fund,” Shizuru reported.

A pale forehead wrinkled. “What makes her believe that?”

“He was screaming at Doctor Graceburt yesterday and Aunt Laula overheard them. She was not pleased with what she heard, I guess. Aunt Laula is having a good time investigating him and the more she digs, the more she thinks he after your money. When I left this morning, she was smiling.”

“Was it that sort of smile you get right before you force me to eat broccoli through coercion?”

“That exact smile.”

Natsuki winced. “Well, I better see about getting my ass out of here to join the fireworks.”

“So, crisis averted?” Shizuru asked to be sure.

“Crisis definitely averted. I do have to see Graceburt more often now, but it’s mostly because she thinks I’m ‘prone to listen to any fool thing some evil bitch’ is willing to tell me. Her own words,” Natsuki said, holding her hand up as if swearing.

Shizuru chuckled. “Somehow I doubt those were her own words, but if she says you need to go more often, then you will. Understood?”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Geez, woman, talk about back to normal,” Natsuki smiled. It was nice to be treated normal. Now, all she had to do was become normal. Right after helping screw with her father. “I hope you brought me more than pajamas,” Natsuki said as she looked down at herself. Shizuru smiled and moved to get Natsuki real clothes so that they could hopefully get on with their lives.

-8-8-8-8-

Next time: the end.


	11. Legalese

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t own these characters.I also don’t own the Godfather.
> 
>  
> 
> A/N: this is an AU ShizNat story based on a manga called [Pieta](http://dynasty-scans.com/series/pieta). I recommend it to anyone who likes manga.

11: Legalese

Getting Natsuki out of the hospital proved to be quite simple for the two of them, even though her doctor wanted to keep her a little longer for observation. The two teens were insistent, though, and the doctor relented after giving them a laundry list of things to watch out for with Natsuki. Shizuru drove them to her aunts’ house where Natsuki discovered her belongs were being kept. Most of her belongings were out in Shizuru’s room, as if waiting to be placed around the area. She smiled at Shizuru. 

“Thanks for taking care of this,” Natsuki said, pointing to her things that were sitting on Shizuru’s shelves.

Shizuru smiled and wrapped her arm around Natsuki’s waist. “I did what I could. It was difficult concentrating on getting everything I knew you wanted. Your stepmother likes to talk and I disliked what she had to say.”

Natsuki nodded and put her arms around the tawny-haired female. “Makes two of us. But, she’s not my stepmom. I can’t even call her my father’s wife since I’m not sure he’s my dad, anymore.”

Deep red eyes regarded Natsuki with so much emotion that the biker was not sure what to make of it. “Is that such a big loss?” the older teen inquired softly.

Natsuki shook her head. “None at all. I have you. I have Alyssa. All of the other stuff, I can start over.”

Shizuru smiled more and leaned over to kiss Natsuki’s cheek. “I’m glad you still think of Alyssa, even though you might not be related to her by blood.”

Natsuki scratched the top of her head. “You know, I don’t think I ever considered Alyssa a blood-relative. Whenever I think of her, I don’t think of her in terms of ‘my sister.’ I think of her in terms of just Alyssa. I don’t know, but her in my head is way more elaborate than her being just my sister. I always connected to her and she connected to me. I don’t know if it was because of blood or not, but I don’t think anything will break the connection. Alyssa’s special to me and I think she always will be. I hope so, anyway. I want to be there for her and I want to be with her.”

The tawny-haired girl nodded. “That’s good. Now, Aunt Laula and Aunt Anh want to talk to you. After that, I’d like for you to get in bed and rest. Let me forewarn you that no amount of arguing or whining will make a difference.”

“Aw, but I had a lot of whining left me,” the biker joked with a pathetic pout. It did earn her another kiss, which was good enough for her.

Natsuki allowed herself to be led away by Shizuru. They went by the living room, deeper into the house. Natsuki quickly learned that there was an office space beyond the living room. Laula and Anh were both in the office, both on the phone.

“Oh, Natsuki-chan! It’s great that you’re here!” Anh grinned. “You look so much better today, too!”

“Uh … okay,” Natsuki said for lack of a better reply. She had to assume that she looked much better now than she did in the hospital after her very stupid incident.

“We’re pleased that you’re safe and sound and going to stay with us,” Anh said and she even clapped a little.

“You want me to stay here?” Natsuki pointed to herself as she stood there with a slack jaw because she could not believe it. Even if they did not know about her darkest moment where she actually considered taking Shizuru from them, they had to know that she had been crazy enough to try to kill herself. _Why the hell would they want me around if they know how crazy I am?_

“Of course. We’ve already spoken to our lawyers to get you control of your trust fund and get you emancipated from your father, even though you’ll be eighteen soon. Still, it’s best not to wait,” Anh explained.

Natsuki blinked. “Huh?” She was still impersonating a gapping fish. 

“Natsuki, Laula heard your father while he was speaking with Doctor Graceburt and she did not like anything that he had to say, especially the part about locking you away in an institution. Shizuru told us that a hospital would most likely destroy you. We’ve also heard that he wouldn’t be seeking to put you in a facility to help anyway, just some place to get you out of the way. No father should do that to a child, so we’re going to do our best to make sure that doesn’t happen. Is that all right with you?” Anh asked and the seriousness of her face let the teen know that she truly wanted permission to help.

“Uh … yeah, I guess. I mean, it’s no trouble or anything, right?” Natsuki asked, scratching the top of her head.

Anh smiled and placed a hand on Natsuki’s shoulder. The biker was surprised that the urge to pull away did not tear through her. She allowed Anh to touch her, not because Anh was Shizuru’s aunt and she did not want to disrespect Shizuru’s aunt, but because the touch did not feel poisonous. She had grown so used to every touch feeling like it was pouring venom into her system, but none of that came from Anh. Natsuki wondered if Shizuru had helped her grow accustomed to being touched or if Shizuru had just helped her learn to trust enough to be touched. Either way, she was pleased with herself for making such obvious progress.

“Natsuki, you are now a member of our family. We’re going to take care of you as long as you let us. Now, why don’t you and Shizuru go have some lunch while we finish up here? We’ll brief you about what’s going on as soon as we’re finished.” Anh gently patted her on the shoulder.

Natsuki could only nod. She was beyond unaccustomed to having someone help her in a difficult situation. She actually did not know what to do and was glad that Anh had given her instructions, even though she barely knew what to make of those either. She did not get a chance to dwell on it as Shizuru pulled her away for lunch.

“Natsuki, are you truly all right with the arrangements my aunts are making? I can get them to stop if you like,” Shizuru said as they sat down next to each other at the table. Lunch was set out for them already, which they both knew was thanks to Anh.

“No, it’s fine. I was actually going to ask Laula-san if she could give me any sort of advise on getting my trust fund, anyway. I was also going to ask Graceburt-sensei to help with that and help me with getting away from my father. So, really, they jumped on something I was going to ask about, anyway. I know if I really ever want to be better and good, I have to get away from him and his wife. Before, it didn’t matter. I didn’t have much to lose, but now, I have everything to lose,” Natsuki said, taking Shizuru’s hand in hers. She leaned down and placed a tender kiss to Shizuru’s knuckles.

Shizuru smiled softly. “I’m glad you understand that now.”

“I’ll do my damnedest to never forget it. Besides, we still have to go to Hokkaido,” Natsuki remarked with a smile.

Shizuru laughed. “I’m still looking forward to it.”

The ebony-haired girl nodded in agreement. She then sighed, an oddly sorrowful sound. “I can’t believe I almost missed out on that. I’m so sorry, Shizuru. It was just … she made me think I was responsible …”

The older girl leaned over and gently stroked Natsuki’s thigh. “Natsuki, it’s fine. You know you weren’t responsible for what happened to your mother. Since you know that, I expect you to live a long, happy, and productive life with me.”

Natsuki nodded; that was the plan. By the time she and Shizuru were done with lunch, Laula and Anh joined them. They all went to the living room to discuss the issues of the day. The older couple took the sofa while Shizuru and Natsuki settled on the love seat. Without thinking, Natsuki pulled Shizuru’s legs over her lap; the contact helped keep her settled and calm.

“So, the lawyers feel like this should go rather quickly,” Laula reported with a pleased smile, like a lion with a lamb chop.

Natsuki’s forehead furrowed. “Why do you think that? I’m pretty sure my dad is going to put up one hell of a fight over this, especially if he’s taking money out of the trust fund, which I’m pretty sure he is. He’s not just going to let all that money go. Hell, he used it to help buy a house and who knows what else,” she replied.

“He didn’t do it legally,” Anh pointed out.

“There are a couple of factors that will prevent your father from doing a damn thing, except for agreeing to what we want. Now, we’re aware your father will try to argue that you’re not of sound mind and therefore can’t manage your own money or live on your own. It will look bad that you have been institutionalized, but I’m sure Graceburt-sensei will be able to explain and dispute all of that. She’s already collected evidence about the institution you were placed in to show that your father is not looking out for your best interests. She’s willing to help,” Laula stated.

“Of course she is,” Natsuki said, rolling her eyes a little. “I guess she just wants my okay on this?”

“That is all she requires. And, if you are as well as she and Shizuru have assured us, you’ll have no problem handling any sort of doctor your father wants to throw your way. Even if he wants to argue about you needing a guardian and a judge agrees, there are much better candidates now than there were ten years ago,” Laula said with her own approving nod.

Natsuki scratched her head again. “Well, that’s true, but I don’t see how that’s going to help things go easily.”

“Making things even better, it has been brought to our attention that your father works for the marketing division of Kiyohime Gems,” Anh said with a smile that bordered on devilish.

A pale forehead wrinkled again. “Why is that better? I mean, yeah, it’s a popular jewelry company and everything, but he’s just so middle level management guy,” the ebony-haired teen pointed out.

Laula and Anh both blinked and turned to Shizuru. “She really doesn’t know?” Laula asked her niece.

Shizuru shrugged. “It wasn’t something that came up in a conversation, so I never had a chance to explain it to her. I did not know that her father worked for the company.”

“What?” Natsuki inquired, looking back and forth between the relatives.

Shizuru took one of Natsuki’s hands and ran her index finger inside the palm. “Natsuki, my family owns Kiyohime Gems. Your father works for my family,” she informed the younger teen.

“No way!” Natsuki’s pallor was now beyond chalk white. Wide emerald eyes focused on Shizuru like she was an alien life. “You mean … you’re … rich?”

“This is not a problem, is it?” Shizuru asked in a low, trembling voice.

“Problem? Of course not! Just a shock … a huge shock! But, it doesn’t change anything,” Natsuki proclaimed, wrapping her arms around the older girl and holding her close. Shizuru sighed as she cuddled into Natsuki’s body, not caring that her aunts were sitting right across from them.

“I am glad that it’s not a problem,” Shizuru muttered.

“I can never have a problem with you,” Natsuki whispered. Anh looked like she was about to burst from the high levels of sheer adorableness.

“Good. So, like I was saying, he happens to work for us,” Anh said. “And we can be very persuasive.” She folded her hands in her lap, as if trying to appear angelic, but she looked so delightfully evil.

“How so?” Natsuki asked.

“We’ll—” Laula started, but Shizuru of all people cut her off.

“Make him an offer he can’t refuse,” Shizuru remarked, smirking at her aunt.

“I wanted to say that!” Laula huffed and hit Shizuru with a throw pillow. “Since when do you know Godfather references anyway?”

“Natsuki loves gangster movies,” Shizuru replied with an impish smile and a shrug. The biker gave her little hug as if encouraging her.

-8-8-8-8-

“What the hell is this about? Natsuki had the nerve to have me served?” her father shouted, staring down at the paper in disbelief. He had just opened the mail to receive the nasty little surprise from his so-called daughter.

“How could she have you served? She doesn’t have a lawyer,” Una pointed out from her space on their beat up old sofa. They would both be happy when they bought a new one after they moved into their new home; they planned on moving in over the next few days. “And try to keep it down. We don’t want the neighbors to hear and you don’t want to wake the baby.”

He glanced up at his wife, somewhat dismissing her with his eyes, and then back down at the paper. “Apparently, she has someone working for her that served me. I can meet with them tomorrow or see them in court.”

“It’s probably just a bluff to try to buy sometime. You know she’ll do anything to avoid going to another institution, even though that’s where she needs to be. You can’t have her out there embarrassing us or plotting to hurt someone in our family. And we certainly can’t afford her living on her own. She doesn’t deserve that money and you do. We can live the way we always dreamed of, in a big house with a yard for our kids. Long family vacations, wonderful nights out, and we can buy a Miyu a car in a few years.”

“Right. I’ll take care of this tomorrow,” he decided.

“I can come. The baby can stay with my mother. The girls have school.”

“I’ll think about it. I can handle Natsuki on my own, though.”

Una nodded. “I know you can. I think if she sees both of us, though, she’ll know that this is pointless and it’s not some crazy game that she can play. She’ll give in if we’re both there. She knows she can’t be trusted on her own and she knows she can’t do anything about both of us.”

He agreed with that and he eventually agreed to allow Una to come with him. They were surprised when they pulled up to the address for the meeting place. They had not expected such an obviously expensive, fancy law firm. For a moment, they both had to gather themselves through deep breaths and then they entered. A receptionist pointed them to the conference room where “everyone” was waiting for them.

“Everyone?” Una echoed with an arched eyebrow and her husband shrugged.

They entered the conference room to find it practically full. There were ten people, including Natsuki sitting at the table. He recognized Doctor Graceburt and he suspected the tawny-haired girl next to Natsuki was a friend of hers. There were four adults flanking the teens; a pair of which he recognized. Two men and one woman in suits were probably the lawyers.

“Natsuki, you certainly have gone all out for this rouse,” her father remarked with a nervous chuckle as he and Una sat down across from the group. He glared at the biker with obvious hatred and disgust; Una’s gaze held just as much vitriol and disdain.

Natsuki did not bother to acknowledge her father or his resentment. _Nothing he says or does will bother me. Not now, not ever again_ , she had promised herself that. She would show him and his wife just how strong she was now thanks to Shizuru and the love and the support from people who actually cared about her wellbeing. She would show the Fujino family that she appreciated their effort by being the adult while in the same room as her father and his damned, contemptuous spouse.

“No lawyer, Kuga-san? Perhaps we should get you one before we proceed,” Taro suggested and then turned to look at the trio of lawyers behind him. “Jiro-san, perhaps you could go get a colleague to help the Kugas. Your brother often beats you in court, right? Go fetch him.” He laughed at his own remark.

“Wait, what’s going on?” Natsuki’s father inquired, holding his hand a little.

“This is why you should have a lawyer, so you can understand exactly what is going on,” Anh replied.

Laula chimed in, too. “Jiro-san, do go. Get this guy a lawyer, but get him a really bad one. Is Hideo still around or did we finally talk him into retiring?”

“I think you drove him into hiding, Laula-chan,” Taro teased, wiggling his pinkie in her direction.

“Grow up before I tell you what I do to your sister at night,” Laula retorted and that shut her brother-in-law up. It always worked wonders.

“Might we get down to business sometime this century? The girls have missed enough days of school as it is,” Ayumi commented in a stern tone. “I intend to see them both graduate with the proper marks and this time off has to be marring their grades.”

“Killjoy,” Taro muttered out of the side of his mouth.

“Again, what is this about?” Una now demanded.

“Several things,” the female attorney spoke up. “Now, before I proceed, are you sure you do not want a lawyer present?”

“We want to know what this is all about,” Natsuki’s father growled.

“Very well.” The female lawyer placed a folder onto the table and slid it toward the Kugas. “I’m Oni Miyuki. The first item on the list is Kuga Natsuki’s trust fund. After looking deeply into the records and seeing how neglectful you were at issuing her the money that she required for living on her own, I drew up the paperwork to have you pulled from the account. As of today, Natsuki is in charge of her own finances. We are also looking into any misappropriation to her funds and if …” She paused and chuckled. “Excuse me, _when_ we find any anomalies, you will be required to pay her back. With interest more than likely considering we’ve seen several little problems already. I am now also going to be seeking compensation for Natsuki’s general wellbeing after seeing the amount you gave her to live off of, so just be prepared to pay.”

“You can’t do that!” Natsuki’s father exploded, slamming his hands on the table. “You think you could trust this little monkey to take care of herself! She can’t be trusted with her own life!” He pointed a malicious finger toward Natsuki while he refused to look at her.

“Oh, thank you for bringing us to our next point!” the lawyer, Jiro, grinned as he stepped up. He gleefully put his folder down and pushed them toward the Kugas. “I’m Watanaka Jiro. I’ll be handling Natsuki’s emancipation case because you’re the ones that can’t be trusted with Natsuki’s life. Simple enough, Natsuki isn’t going to be your problem anymore.”

“You can’t do that! She’s crazy!” Kuga-san roared. “She is completely and totally insane!”

Maria stood up sharply. “That is horribly untrue! You and your wife have been messing with this poor child’s mind since she came into your possession! She needed love, attention, affection, and to be cared for to let her know that her mother’s death was a tragic accident. Instead, she got isolation, accusations, and the worst of all – being told that she was the cause of her mother’s death. And for what? Because you didn’t want her, but you wanted her money? You’re the crazy one,” she spat. “I don’t know what new rat-hole institution you thought you were going to throw Natsuki in, but I assure you, it won’t happen.”

It seemed Maria’s words galvanized Natsuki’s father, who climbed to his feet. “You think you know her so well? Natsuki has been nothing more than a blight to me since she was born and she’s going to hurt someone, just like she tried to hurt Alyssa. She was a terror then and tried to kill a baby! Do you want that on your conscious?” he demanded.

“I didn’t!” Natsuki objected, wanting it to be known that she would never try to harm anyone, especially Alyssa. Shizuru’s hand quickly went to her thigh and calmed her down.

“You did! You know you did, you horrible little bastard!” her father hollered.

“We know you didn’t,” Shizuru whispered to Natsuki and rubbed her leg to keep her from being baited by her father.

“I would never …” Natsuki swallowed hard.

“I know, Natsuki. I know,” Shizuru said.

Laula growled as she noticed the sorrow in Natsuki’s eyes. “Kuga-san, sit down,” she commanded in a calm, but powerful tone. He glared at her, but she did not flinch. Slowly, he found himself back in his seat. “You will not malign Natsuki’s character any further with unproven lies and vicious slander or you will be sued for damages,” she promised him.

“You all think you know it all?” Mister Kuga spat venomously.

“We know that Natsuki’s trust fund looks rather impressive, which says a lot considering the money we throw around,” Taro remarked. “No, it’s not enough to say she doesn’t have to work for the rest of her life, but it is more than enough to keep her comfortable and happy. It is more than enough to make sure that she’s well taken care of for the rest of her life, which we are sure is what her mother wanted. We know it would go a long way with your family, the one that Natsuki doesn’t seem to be a part of.”

“Who would want her in a family? She tried to kill my daughter!” Una declared. No one looked very impress or convinced by the proclamation. “No one in their right minds would want this beast girl living with them or in their family!”

“And, I suppose that would be my introduction,” the last of the lawyers said in a dull tone. “I’m Fuijino Masato. Basically, I represent the Fujino family. We’ll be adopting Natsuki,” he stated bluntly.

“The Fujino family?” Natsuki’s father seemed like he was about to choke on his tongue. All of the color drained from his face.

“Yeah, my little sister and my aunts have really taken to Natsuki … for whatever reason,” Masato remarked, rolling his eyes while shooting Shizuru a small, amused smile. Shizuru felt confident enough to smile back at him, which made him beam with happiness.

“Wait, what?” both Kugas looked utterly baffled.

“Really, this whole display is just the fun-filled way for the Fujino family to get together and let you know that you lost out on someone really fantastic. We do it at business conferences, too. God, people hate us,” Masato remarked, laughing a little. Taro and Anh chuckled, too.

“No one likes clownish rich people,” Laula commented.

“I don’t know. We’re pretty popular at parties, auntie,” Masato quipped with a smile. He then turned his attention back to the Kugas. “This is actually our way of being pleasant. We’re informing you of what’s going on instead of just doing what we do. You certainly don’t deserve the courtesy. You come in here and speak about your daughter in ways that my friends won’t even discuss their dogs. Hell, ways they wouldn’t discuss their enemies. You’re willing to take her money, but not her. Not only that, you’re willing to push her to the point of killing herself, willing to make her believe she’s capable of horrors that haunt her nightmares as I understand it. I’m beyond disgusted.” He curled his upper lip as he regarded the Kuga couple.

“Is this a joke? Do you really expect us to believe you’re the Fujino family and you want Natsuki of all people?” Una snorted. “We’re not so easily fooled.”

“Well, if you want to drag this out …” Shizuru said and then she shrugged. Turning to Natsuki, she smiled. “Shall we go?”

“Yeah. I don’t see why I needed to be here, anyway. I already signed everything,” Natsuki pointed out and she rose from her seat. She then helped Shizuru up. Emerald eyes focused on the people helping her. “Thank you, everyone. I truly appreciate this, but we do need to get ready for school tomorrow.”

“We know,” Laula said and she handed Natsuki a car key. “Drive carefully.”

“I will,” Natsuki replied. She and Shizuru left.

“That is one adorable couple,” Taro remarked with a smile before turning his attention back to the Kugas. A feral smile spread across his face. “Well, with the young people gone, this can get serious.”

-8-8-8-8-

“You know the whole point of being in Hokkaido is to play in the snow,” Natsuki pointed out, speaking to Shizuru. They were in a small, well-furnished cabin. Natsuki was bundled up in complete winter gear with a snowboard in her hand. Shizuru sat down in front of a fire with a cup of tea in her hand. She was still dressed in her pajamas, which consisted of a lilac yukata.

“You enjoy it your way. I’ll enjoy it mine,” Shizuru remarked with a coy smile as she reached for the book that she was reading.

Natsuki pouted. “You could’ve done this at home. I thought you said you ski?”

“I do.”

“Then come on!” Natsuki begged, motioning to the door with one hand.

“I do not wish to ski right now.”

Natsuki’s face fell into another, deeper pout. Unfortunately, Shizuru’s back was to her, so she could not see the expression, thus she would not cave into Natsuki’s demands. The biker was not put off. Easing her board to the floor, Natsuki crawled up behind Shizuru and rested her head on Shizuru’s shoulder. Shizuru laughed as Natsuki whimpered and nuzzled her neck.

“I wanna spend time with you,” Natsuki muttered, rubbing her nose in Shizuru’s neck.

“My sweet Natsuki, you always spend time with me,” Shizuru replied. She put her tea down and caressed the biker’s head.

“I wanna spend time with you in the snow. I don’t always do that.” She placed several light kisses to Shizuru’s warm neck.

“There are plenty of things that you don’t always do with me that you could do at the moment.”

Natsuki’s brow furrowed. “Why do you always have to turn all ‘Fujino-cryptic’ on me?” she asked before kissing Shizuru’s neck again.

Shizuru laughed. “Because I love listening to the wheels in Natsuki’s head churn as you try to figure out what I mean. How is it that you are going to be some fancy scientist or equally fancy engineer, yet you don’t pick up subtle hints?”

“Because all of your hints are audio. I’m all about the visual. Put the formula down on paper for me,” Natsuki remarked.

“Yes, take all of the romance out of my life.”

“That is what I’m here for, isn’t it?” Natsuki joked.

The older woman chuckled in spite of herself. “You’re horrible.”

“How about I make you a deal?”

Shizuru arched an eyebrow. “I’m listening.”

“You come outside with me and play in the snow and then when we come in, I’ll do whatever you want without complaining,” the pale girl proposed.

“Without complaining?” Shizuru’s tone probably could not have gotten more incredulous.

Natsuki could only laugh; yeah, she knew it was probably impossible. And, yet, Shizuru agreed. She dressed, grabbed her skis, and they were off. They came back in a few hours later and needed to get ready to go to dinner. Natsuki dropped all of her gear and made a beeline for their closet.

“No, Natsuki. Shower first,” Shizuru ordered. “And put these things away neatly.” She pointed to the snow gear.

“Eep!” the biker yelped as she bristled. A hot blush rose to her cheeks, like an admonished child, which caused Shizuru to smile. Natsuki often reacted that way when scolded. The ebony-haired girl did exactly as commanded as quickly as she could. Shizuru smiled again and then moved herself to get ready for dinner.

“And to get ready for tomorrow,” Shizuru remarked aloud with unmistakable joy in her voice. “Tomorrow with my dear Natsuki.” Her smile could not have been brighter.

-8-8-8-8-

Next time: a short epilogue that used to be a part of this chapter, but I moved it to its own place because it didn’t seem to fit here.


	12. Epilogue: Forward

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t own these characters.
> 
> A/N: this is an AU ShizNat story based on a manga called [Pieta](http://dynasty-scans.com/series/pieta). I recommend it to anyone who likes manga.

Here’s an early holiday gift – the very last chapter of the story. Please, enjoy.

Epilogue: Forward

_Hey, doc_

_I know you’re wondering how I’m doing now that I’ve graduated and moved and put our sessions on hold while me and Shizuru settle into our new place. Well, the settling is over. I still can’t believe Shizuru put up with living at home for year to wait for me to graduate, so we could get our own place together. I’m a bit surprised that Anh and Laula put up with me for a year and basically refused to let me leave until I graduated. They’re cool people, but you know that. Anyway, I was hoping you’d come check the place out. See if maybe Shizuru should put some pads on the walls and hid the butter knives. It’s okay if this is too personal and all, but I would love for you to come and see it. I want you to see that I’m doing really well and I plan to keep it up_.

Maria chuckled a bit as she dropped the letter onto her desk. “I don’t know how someone _that_ clueless can be so sweet,” she commented with a smile. “It’s even more adorable that she wrote a letter instead of calling me.”

She was always glad to hear from Natsuki, especially when it was not part of their therapy sessions. She liked being included in Natsuki’s life, which was good since she knew that Natsuki needed as many good people in her life as she could collect. Natsuki made it a point to keep her informed, too, and she knew that Natsuki looked at her as more than a therapist, which she did not mind. She shook her head and decided to go see what all of the hoopla was about.

So, as soon as she had a spare moment, Maria found herself driving to Natsuki and Shizuru’s new address. They had suspended their sessions as Natsuki wanted to settle into her new college life and into her new home. Maria agreed because Natsuki had definitely made leaps and bounds once she was away from the Kugas’ poisonous sphere. Of course, they had also agreed that the sessions would continue once Natsuki was settled.

Natsuki still had issues to deal with, even though the Kugas were now little more than a horrible memory to her. There were little reminders of their existence, though. Her father had to pay her monthly stipends to repay the money that he had embezzled from her trust fund; the theft had been proven by an accountant as well as paperwork that Kuga kept and apparently was not smart enough to shred. He also had to pay her compensation for his treatment of her, which had been ruled as abusive. In fact, the judge had gotten red in the face and almost could not speak when he made the ruling because he was so disgusted with Kuga’s actions as Natsuki’s guardian. The judge wanted to throw Una in jail for what she had done, but conceded there was no law against her actions. Still, he made sure that they would give Natsuki something for the torment that they put her through.

Natsuki imagined it was tough on him to pay her every month since he had been fired quite publically the day after meeting with Natsuki’s army of lawyers. She was not sure if he had found another job. Natsuki had not seen her father since those rulings and felt like if she never saw him again, it would be too soon.

Still, she felt anxiety over her new freedom sometimes. There were moments were her whole reality struck her as surreal and she had actually hyperventilated in the early months of her emancipation. She was over it for the most part and Maria expected the nervousness to vanish eventually. Natsuki was strong and wanted to live a good life, so she would eventually stop feeling so concerned and gobsmacked over living a good life.

She also worried about her relationship with Shizuru and the Fujinos from time to time. She feared that they would “take off their rose-colored glasses” and see her for what she truly was, broken and useless. Everyone knew that this attitude was the greasy, putrid residue left on Natsuki’s self-worth by her father and his wife. There were assurances from Maria, as well as others that Natsuki spoke to, that those were thoughts left behind by her father and stepmother, which made the thoughts total and complete lies. No one else viewed her like that and they knew it would take her time to adjust to that idea. She was eternally grateful for the patience that her adopted family showed her.

She occasionally had nightmares over her mother. Maria assured her all of that was normal and she would get through it as long as she tried her best and talked about it, not just with the therapist, but Shizuru and her new family as well. Natsuki followed the advice well, finding it easiest to speak with Shizuru and Laula much of the time. She spoke with them often about her thoughts, about life, about interests, and everything in between. No one was surprised she did that with Shizuru, but the bond she was starting to share with Laula was a bit of a shock.

Maria gathered from their sessions that Natsuki looked at Laula as a mentor, which was good. It took some of the emotional burden from Shizuru, who was slowly only having to wear the hats of being Natsuki’s friend and lover, in the classical sense of the word. Natsuki and Shizuru loved each other deeply, so they were lovers. Of course, Maria knew that Natsuki did not quite yet fathom their love in adult terms.

“This is a delightful looking area,” Maria noted as she pulled up to the building. She was certain that it would be a massive step up from the rat-hole apartment that Natsuki used to live in and she was right.

“Graceburt-sensei, thank you for coming,” Shizuru smiled as she let Maria into the apartment.

The apartment was not that big, but it was certainly more than enough space for two college students. There was a small terrace area with plants and what looked like a small spice garden; those were Shizuru’s without a doubt. There were a few pictures up of the pair, as well as a couple of Shizuru’s family. She smiled when she noticed a picture of Alyssa; she was certain that it was an old picture, but the fact that it was there spoke volumes. There were still boxes waiting to be unpacked. They had the basics out, though.

“Can I get you anything, Graceburt-sensei? We were about to have lunch,” Shizuru said with a gracious smile.

“Whatever you’re having is fine with me,” Maria replied.

Natsuki moved to prepare the table and they all gathered around as Shizuru served. Maria noted that they seemed as natural as ever around each other. If she were a betting woman, she would wager everything she owned on them staying together for the rest of their lives and being quite happy with each other. They ate in a silence for a while before Maria spoke up.

“This place looks really good. How’s it coming along?” the doctor inquired. She noticed that the television was set up and Natsuki’s video games were out, which was a good sign because the video games were Natsuki’s way of relaxing. There was an end table by the sofa that held magazines; some for motorcycles and some for other things that Maria guessed were Shizuru’s interests.

“Really well, so far. Shizuru’s still beating me up because I won’t let her pay the rent, but other than that, it’s fine,” Natsuki replied.

“Doctor, could you work that into a session? Tell Natsuki she doesn’t have to pay for everything when we do something together?” Shizuru actually frowned.

“I’ll see what I can do, but you know how stubborn she can be when she thinks that she’s right. Do you know when I can expect her back?” Maria asked, purposely talking to just Shizuru because she knew it annoyed Natsuki.

“We’re thinking next week. School is going well and she says she can manage the workload. We were considering Tuesdays because she only has one class that day,” Shizuru answered.

“Hey, I’m right here and I can tell her,” Natsuki objected. “Next week Friday I should be back, more than likely. Friday I have one class, too. I can come right after class on both days. I think I can manage twice a week. Is that good?”

“Twice week should be fine. You coming is about what you’re comfortable with, Natsuki. I think you’re making great strides and it’s your decision,” Maria informed the teen with a proud smile. So far, Natsuki had been making good decisions and she could not help being happy for the girl.

Natsuki nodded. “I feel good about twice a week right now. I still have a lot inside of me that I need to get out.” 

The doctor nodded and then turned her attention to her other hostess. “What about you, Shizuru? How are things going with you?”

“Thank you for recommending Doctor Helene to me. She’s a very good therapist, but I typically only see her once a week now,” Shizuru said.

Natsuki reached over and took Shizuru’s hand. “Sorry I drove you back into therapy, Shizuru.”

Shizuru shook her head. “Natsuki, we have gone through this. It wasn’t your fault. I am just glad that I got to you in time.” A bright, loving smile spread across her face.

“Me, too.” Natsuki smiled.

While they did not speak of “the incident” often, Shizuru witnessing Natsuki with a gun to her head and almost shooting herself was extremely traumatizing. While they were working on getting Natsuki out of her father’s grasp, Shizuru had been busy enough to push it from her mind. Court, school, and making sure Natsuki was all right did not give Shizuru time to consider the things that happened before.

The second that they settled down into a comfortable life, though, the nightmares started. She often dreamed that she had not made it in time to stop Natsuki. Sometimes, in her dreams, she would show up just in time to see Natsuki put a bullet through her brain. It bothered her to the point that she would call Natsuki endlessly whenever the younger girl was out of sight to make sure that she was still alive.

Eventually, she began following Natsuki around, so that the pale teen was never out of sight. Natsuki knew that she had to do something and she asked her doctor to recommend someone for Shizuru to confide in and help her through her trauma. Shizuru had been seeing Doctor Yohko Helene ever since and the nightmares lessened as did the phone calls and clingy behavior. It was a lot to deal with, though, and Shizuru was not sure when she would be over it, _if_ she would be over it.

“Thank you two for the lunch and the chance to see your lovely new home. It’s wonderful,” Maria said.

Shizuru and Natsuki both smiled proudly and they moved onto more pleasant conversation about what they were going to do with their new home. After they finished eating, they gave Doctor Graceburt a tour of the apartment, even though there was not much to see. The kitchen, which Natsuki proclaimed “Shizuru’s domain” was stocked more so than any other room and had modern appliances.

“I’m only allowed to do dishes in here. If I go beyond that Shizuru thinks I’m stepping on her wifely toes,” Natsuki joked.

Maria chuckled and Shizuru smiled while hooking her arm around Natsuki’s. In all of the time that Maria had gotten to know the teens, she still found their relationship to be strange, even though it worked for both of them. They were beyond friends, beyond lovers, beyond married, as Shizuru once said. They honestly seemed like the other’s world, which Maria would have thought was unhealthy if only they did not open each other up to new experiences on the daily basis. For a while, she worried that if something happened to one of them, the other would be damaged beyond repair, but she was starting to understand that was not the case. They had built each other up to the point where if something did happen to the one, it was now guaranteed that the other would survive.

“We got a western style bed, even though Shizuru was really opposed to it,” Natsuki announced, opening the door to their bedroom. It was a Spartan space with only their queen-sized bed and a dresser out. All of the boxes let Maria know they had unpacking to do there. She entertained herself by wondering what the most personal space in the apartment would look like between the two of them since they had such differing personalities.

“The rest of the furniture has yet to arrive,” Shizuru sighed. “But, it does give you a good sense of the space in here, yes?”

“It does. This is a large room. You two were lucky to find this apartment,” Maria said.

“It took a lot of patience, which my dear Natsuki doesn’t have. She was ready to move in to any little space, as if my aunts were ushering us out of the door the second she graduated,” Shizuru remarked. “I actually thought Aunt Laula was going to get on her hands and knees and beg you to stay.”

“I didn’t want to be in the way and we should be closer to our schools, anyway. You had to travel so far. Besides, it didn’t matter to me where we lived as long as we were together,” Natsuki declared with gusto.

Maria chuckled, enjoying the fact that Natsuki was too thickheaded to be embarrassed by such a statement. The tour continued on and Maria expressed pride that the pair had found a good place to turn into their own. Natsuki was beaming by the time Maria had to leave.

“Please, come by anytime,” Natsuki told the doctor as they were saying their farewells.

“I’ll check on you every now and then to make sure you’re not driving poor Shizuru up a wall,” Maria teased. Natsuki looked indignant and folded her arms across her chest like a petulant child, causing Shizuru to smile.

Later on, Shizuru had her family over to show off the new apartment. It was only the third time that Natsuki got to interact with all of the Fujinos in one, confined place; the first two were Shizuru’s graduation and her graduation. As always, she could definitely see the family resemblance in all of them, beyond the fact that they were all tawny-haired and slightly above average height. They were all just so personable and charming almost all the time, like they could not help themselves. And, of course, they all adored the baby of their bunch, gushing over everything that Shizuru had and did. They also heaped plenty of praise on Natsuki, who they also adored; they often said that they considered her the “new baby” of the family.

The attention was something that both Shizuru and Natsuki still had to get used to. Every few minutes, they separated from the group to get themselves together. They held each other’s hand and hugged before going back into the fray.

“Make sure you two spend some time studying between all the hugs and kisses,” Anh teased and that earned a blush from Natsuki. The blush was very noticeable and the other Fujinos jumped in to playfully taunt the two college students.

After a few minutes, Shizuru stepped into save her poor Natsuki. “All right, all right. You all know you can’t pick on my beloved Natsuki at once,” she scolded them as she wrapped her arms protectively around the biker.

“Natsuki knows we tease because we love,” Taro declared.

“Is that what they’re calling it now?” Laula scoffed. She put a hand on Natsuki’s shoulder. “You know you can’t take anything they say to heart. They joke about everything,” she reminded the younger woman.

Natsuki nodded. “I know. I’m trying to get used to it, but the damned blush always comes up.”

“I’ll help you stop it,” Laula promised. She then leaned in close. “It used to happen to me all the time, too. After a while, I figured out how to keep under control.”

Natsuki breathed a sigh of relief. “You definitely have to tell me the secret soon.” Laula nodded and patted the pale girl again. Natsuki smiled at the older woman.

“All right, all right. To make up for almost bursting a blood vessel in Natsuki’s face, let’s take these two out. Dinner on me,” Taro said.

“Thank you, Otousan,” Shizuru smiled and graciously hugged her father. He could not help grinning and then Shizuru’s mother and siblings came in for hugs of them own. It was amazing because Shizuru accepted and returned the embraces without flinching. Once they were done with Shizuru, they turned to Natsuki, who was not much of a hugger unless it was Shizuru, so they gave her encouraging pats on the back.

“Yeah, let’s go,” Natsuki replied and the Fujino family practically cheered.

-8-8-8-8-

“Shizuru …” Natsuki whispered as they were curled up in their bed. She was running her fingers up and down Shizuru’s arm. Shizuru had her head tucked comfortably under Natsuki’s chin.

“Hmm?” was the lazy reply.

“Thank you for giving me a whole new life.”

“Thank you for doing the same to me.”

“Okay, then thank you for loving me.”

“Again, thank you for doing the same.”

“Uh … thank you for giving me a family, then.”

“Again, my dearest Natsuki, thank you for doing the same.”

Natsuki laughed a little and knew that there was nothing more to say. Everything that she wanted to thank Shizuru for, Shizuru already knew. Just like she knew everything that Shizuru would thank her for. So, she made herself comfortable and thought of her how she had her whole life ahead of her. Oddly enough, there was one thing that she would like from her old life.

“If you’re patient, she’ll come to you,” Shizuru said.

Natsuki groaned. “Don’t read my mind like that!”

“Not your mind. Your body language. You stopped running lines down my arm and began playing with my fingers. You do that when you want to distract yourself and when it’s just us alone in the dark, there are only two things you need to distract yourself about.”

“Well, how do you know I’m not thinking about Mom?”

“Tears fall from your eyes when you do and make their way down your face. I usually feel the drops hit my face when we’re snuggled like this. When that doesn’t happen, I know you’re thinking about Alyssa. You have to be patient.”

“You’re right.”

And, of course, Shizuru was right. Natsuki was not very patient, but she was getting better, especially with things beyond her control. One day, it paid off. There was a knock at the door, Natsuki answered and standing before her was Alyssa. Miyu stood a few inches back.

“Oneechan!” Alyssa threw herself into Natsuki’s arms.

“Alyssa, I missed you so much!” Natsuki said as she returned the embrace with all that she had. She went so far as to lift Alyssa off the ground as she held onto the child.

“I promised Miyu I would never talk to her again if she didn’t bring me to see you. I know you’re a grown-up now, but I still wanna see you sometimes!” It sounded almost like Alyssa was scolding her, which brought a massive grin to the biker’s face.

Natsuki held onto the small blond just a little tighter. “I wanna see you, too. I wanna see you a lot actually. So, come on in and stay a while. You get to meet Shizuru today,” she smiled and ushered Alyssa into the apartment. She then turned to Miyu.

She noticed that Miyu was wearing her school uniform, but it was not from Fuuka Academy. She actually felt guilty, knowing that the Kuga family could not longer afford to send Miyu to the excellent school. Thankfully, from what she could tell with Alyssa’s uniform, Alyssa still went to Fuuka. She was willing to bet the child had a scholarship; undoubtedly in music from the way the girl sang.

“You can come in or stand in the hall all day. I think we both know which one you’d prefer, but we also know you don’t trust me with Alyssa, so you might as well come in,” Natsuki said to the teal-haired teen and motioned into the apartment.

“Just know that if you do anything to harm my little sister, I won’t hesitate to return the favor,” Miyu informed the biker.

Natsuki laughed. “I know you don’t believe me just yet, but I promise you that all I want is for _our_ sister to be happy. I just want to love her like you do. I want her in my life and I’ll never do anything to mess that up.”

She felt like she owed Miyu at least an explanation since the teen was taking a risk by bringing Alyssa by. Surely Miyu’s mother would be upset if she found out what Miyu had done and might possibly continue to do. She hoped that did not deter Miyu in any way.

“I know that night … I know what _she_ told you,” Natsuki said. “I know you might never believe it, but I swear I would never try to hurt Alyssa. I would never do anything to hurt her.”

Miyu frowned. “I’m not stupid, Natsuki, just so you know. Yes, I was young and, yes, my mother said things, but I’m not stupid and I’ve had time to think on it. I remember you, what you were like, what it was like for you. Now, I can’t say I totally knew you. Didn’t know if you were as crazy as they made you sound or as dangerous as they made you sound, but I know you never showed any real danger signs beyond what you did to yourself. I know you didn’t have a reason to hurt her, but she was crying and I don’t know why, but you had a gun.”

“I shoved her to get her out of the damn room, so she wouldn’t have to see me do what I wanted to do,” Natsuki hissed.

Miyu shook her head. “Either way, that’s the distant past. But, in the not-too-distant past you did something that would’ve torn her apart. I don’t care one way or another if you want to end your miserable life, but she does,” she said, pointing to Alyssa. “She loves you for whatever reason and you killing yourself would be too much for her to handle.”

“I’m over that. I’ll never get to that point again. So, she’ll never have to feel that kind of pain or confusion,” the pale girl vowed.

“You better mean that or as I said, what you do to her, I will do to you,” Miyu promised.

Natsuki nodded to show that she understood and then she turned her attention to her little sister, who was already introducing herself to Shizuru. Shizuru was smiling graciously at the child. Natsuki joined in and those three had a delightful time together, just talking over their interests and getting to know each other. Miyu never joined in, just watched like a hawk, which Natsuki did not mind. Nothing could take away her happiness with the moment and the idea that Alyssa would come back to see her as often as possible.

“It was great meeting you, Alyssa-chan,” Shizuru said as she and Natsuki saw their guests to the door.

“You, too,” Alyssa smiled. “I’ll be back soon, Oneechan.”

“I’m looking forward to it,” Natsuki replied. “Give me a call and we can arrange to go somewhere. Maybe the arcade or a fair or something. I dunno. Shizuru’s good at planning trips, so she can help me figure out.”

Alyssa giggled. “I would love to go on a trip with both of you.”

“We look forward to it, then,” Shizuru said.

Natsuki smiled and nodded before giving her sister one last hug. With that, the little blonde left with Miyu. Natsuki turned her attention to Shizuru and embraced her. Shizuru turned to properly hug the ebony-haired girl.

“Today was a really good day. I’m looking forward to just living,” Natsuki sighed happily.

“You know what I’m looking forward to, Natsuki?” Shizuru asked.

“No, what?”

Shizuru chuckled, but did not verbally respond. She dipped her head slightly and her lips made contact with Natsuki’s mouth. Emerald eyes went wide briefly and then fluttered shut. She returned the show of affection with as much love as she could muster. She could feel Shizuru smiling against her lips and it felt like an eternity past before they reluctantly pulled away.

“I’ve been looking forward to that for a long time and I wouldn’t bear to wait any longer,” Shizuru remarked in a low, breathy tone.

“Oh … um … plenty time for that, too,” Natsuki quipped with a blush. Yes, there certainly was plenty of time for that.

Of course, Shizuru was not looking to wait. She came in for another kiss, deeper than the first. Natsuki was not caught off guard that time and returned the kiss immediately. She wrapped her arms around Shizuru’s waist while Shizuru’s arms went around her neck. They pulled each other as closely as they possibly could as their lips and tongues fervently caressed each other. Shizuru giggled when they finally pulled away for much needed air.

“Do you want to know what else I’ve been looking forward to?” Shizuru asked in a low voice with a coy smile.

“You know I’m not good at guessing. I’m a visual learner, so I need you to show me,” Natsuki replied with a small smirk. It certainly did not take a rocket scientist to figure it out when Shizuru took her by the hand and gently pulled her toward their bedroom. She was looking forward to that, too.

The end. 

Thank you for reading my story. I hope you enjoyed it. I’m returning to my padded cell now and with luck I’ll be back with more ShizNat goodness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you wanna see more of my fanfics, they're all at FFN under [StarvingLunatic](https://www.fanfiction.net/~starvinglunatic). If you wanna see some original stories, you can look at FP under [StarvingLunatic](https://www.fictionpress.com/u/576301/).


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